The Cat's-Paw Page #4

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Oh! Heh. Yes, certainly.

Probably some

funny-looking old guy...

like they had the last time.

Yeah, with long hair

and a beard.

Leave it to Jake

to pick a pushover.

Well, Miss Pratt!

Oh, you.

This is indeed

a pleasant surprise.

A cordial greeting...

My worthy friend.

Why don't you get a new line?

A line?

Or better still,

don't try to be funny.

Say, here it is.

This must be him!

Oh, for the love of...

Hey, Jake,

where's your new candidate?

Yeah, that's what

I want to know.

Yeah,

where you hidin' him, Jake?

Oh, there he is, boys.

Turn your guns around.

What, that guy?!

But, I assure you, Miss Pratt,

I wasn't trying to be comical.

At that I guess

you don't have to try.

Hey, Mr. Cobb!

Now, let's have another one!

But, gent... gentlemen...

Aw, thank you, Mr. Cobb.

Don't mind if I do.

Why, thank you very much!

Come on, boys!

Say!

Is that the new candidate?

Yeah, he came from China.

Why?

Cobby, pose for another.

Yeah! Let's have

another with you.

Yeah, very good idea.

Shake hands with him.

Shake hands.

Hey, put on

that funny-looking hat!

Yeah! Good idea.

That's a swell hat.

Now, wait a minute!

A politician without

a cigar in his mouth?

That's it.

Now puff on it, son.

Get it cooking good.

Hold it!

Now, hold it.

- One more!

- One more!

Here, Cobby,

you won't need this.

Hold it now! Hold it!

- Aah!

- Oh!

Who left the lid off?!

Why'd you leave...

How did I know the nut

was gonna throw a cigar?

Who did that?

I'd better take you out of here.

Just one more, Jake!

No more, boys.

Now, Mr. Cobb's busy.

You sure started off

with a bang, Mr. Cobb!

How about a statement

for the papers?

Yeah, give us the lowdown

on the Reform racket.

How was the missionary

business in China?

Now, wait a minute, boys.

Wait a minute.

Mr. Cobb's not ready

to make a statement.

You see, he's got to study

the situation.

That supposed to be funny, too?

Oh, no...

- Well, what kind?

- I beg your pardon?

They always start by

buying cigarettes.

What a strange custom.

May I purchase some?

15 cents.

And $4. 00 for the cigars.

Thank you.

So you're gonna run for mayor.

Oh, yes.

They've convinced me

it's my duty.

Even though

defeat is inevitable.

Yes?

After all, should the lark

cease singing...

because winter was come?

Ling Po.

I don't know. Should it?

Well, l...

Say, is Jake Mayo paying you

to do this?

Certainly not.

Then you're really a sap.

A sap?

Well, I suppose somebody

had to be the cat's-paw.

Are you insinuating...

Oh, no, don't bother about it.

It'll all be over tomorrow...

and I suppose you'll never know

the difference.

Say, are those clothes

tattooed on you?

Tattooed?

Well, I... I don't believe so.

They come on and off?

Yes, certainly.

Then I'd suggest

that you turn 'em in...

and get something that a dog

wouldn't want to bury.

Oh, I see.

You feel that my clothes

are unsuitable here.

Well, it's very kind of you

to advise me.

Oh, no, it's just

a bad habit with me.

I'm always buying milk

for stray pups...

or bringin' home

old alley cats.

You're jesting, Miss Petunia.

Say, mention that name again...

and you'll be sprawlin'

in the gutter!

The name's Pratt to strangers

and Pet to friends.

Well, which am I?

Well, you're not a stranger...

and you're not a friend.

I guess you better not

call me any name.

When you speak to me

just say "Say."

Ezekiel!

Ezekiel! Ezekiel!

Yeah, Ezekiel Cobb.

"China's gift to Stockport."

Yeah, in big letters.

Say, Jake, couldn't we get

one of them sky rockets...

to spell "Cobb" when it bursts?

OK, OK, did you get

that balloon up...

with Cobb's name on it?

Good.

Hey, Jake, the president

of the Women's Club...

just made a 4-dollar speech

endorsing Cobb.

There's not another band

in the city?

Well, get a guy to sing

"The Star-Spangled Banner."

Great show, Jake. A wow.

...And he came

all the way from China.

McGee's doing his stuff.

What a lot of ballyhoo...

to get a few votes

we're sure of anyway.

Cobb's here, Jake.

Do you want to see him?

What? Cobb?

Sure! Bring him in.

Come in, Cobby.

Say, you're goin'

like a house a-fire.

We're proud of you.

Great work, kid. Great work.

Well, thank you,

but I just dropped in...

to see if there wasn't

something I could do.

Nah, it's all over

but the shoutin'.

The boys got sore feet

parading...

and the bands don't know

any more tunes.

We're all ready

to close up shop and go home.

Go home? Nuts!

After that days work...

I need some relaxation.

Bottles of it.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

You, too, Cobby.

Forget it. Relax.

Yeah, go and

get yourself a twist.

- What?

- A twist.

Yeah, go and have

a nice little supper.

Here's your report, Jake.

Get myself a twist?

Come in!

Shades of Ling Po!

What's the big idea?

Uh, I followed your advice

and purchased some new clothes.

Well, you're not

getting married, are you?

Oh, no.

Uh, Mr. Mayo suggested

I get myself a twist...

for a quiet little supper.

He did?

So what?

Well, uh, you're really

the only twist I know.

Oh. Oh, I get the idea.

Oh, very pretty compliment.

And where do you want to go?

Well, Mr. Mayo suggested

some nice quiet spot.

Which would be in keeping with

the high ideals of Reform...

for which I stand.

Yeah?

Well, I know a nice quiet spot.

Like it, China?

Yes. Very interesting,

but I'm afraid...

Mr. Mayo wouldn't approve

of this place.

Yeah. Jake's pretty particular.

Hi, Jake!

Hiya, Red. Hi, Bill.

Hi, Jake.

Holy smoke, look!

Cobb! Can you beat it?

Now, this is a fine place

for a missionary.

Well, he ought to be able

to find a mother...

for his children

out of that bunch.

I told him to keep

out of sight, the sap.

Oh, you want him

out of sight, huh?

Well, here he goes.

Now, wait a minute!

You'll do more harm...

than you'll do good

if you raise a rumpus.

Gonna do your old-fashioned girl

number next?

What do you think I'm putting

this trick dress on for?

Now, make that pretty loose.

It got stuck last night.

Come in!

Say, chief, Cobb's downstairs.

What?

Yeah! With a dame!

What's the idea of bringing...

the Reform candidate

into a place like this?

Looks phony to me.

A longhair posing as a regular?

Want me to take care of him?

Now, I like this music

much better.

It's more romantic.

Uh-oh.

I wonder if

I may confide in you.

You mean tell me a secret?

Well, yes.

Oh, that'd be fun.

I'll play checkers, too.

Well, you see,

I'm thinking of marriage.

A beautiful thought.

I consider it a duty.

It usually is.

A duty to perpetuate

my father's mission in Sheng Tu.

Oh.

You see,

I really came to America...

to find myself a wife.

I thought you said

you weren't a fast worker.

Oh, I'm not especially.

But I would like to ask you

a question. May I?

Well, I...

I suppose you might as well

get it over with.

Mmm.

I want to ask you...

why is it

that all American girls...

are so lacking in individuality?

What?

Well, they all look alike.

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