The Cat's-Paw Page #6

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The term of office

is for 2 years.

I can't stay away from

my father's mission that long.

Why not?

My duty lies in China.

Oh, yeah, you and your wife.

Miss Pratt, they need me...

To reform them, I suppose.

Rats!

Why, there's more reforming...

to be done

right here in this town...

than in all of China

put together.

It's filthy with corruption.

Crooks and grafters,

racketeers.

Say, you have bandits in China,

haven't you?

Well, they're

a bunch of pansies...

compared to the bandits

over here.

Pansies?

Oh, go to bed.

Do you really think

that I could...

You couldn't do anything.

Imagine you being mayor

of this town.

Well, that's a man's job,

a fight!

I knew you couldn't fight...

but you don't even

want to fight.

But, Miss Pratt...

Oh, go on and run.

Pick up your legs and

run with your tail between them.

- My tail?

- Yeah.

Beat it back to China

with that wife of yours...

and spend the rest

of your life...

teaching little Chinese children

how to blow their noses.

Right up here, Ed.

He's waiting for us.

Is this it?

Yeah, go on in there.

Come on, Cobby...

we'll go in your room,

close the door.

Come on.

Now see here, Cobb,

I haven't got much time.

We've got to talk fast.

This whole thing is fantastic.

It's a miracle.

It couldn't have happened,

but it did.

Now, we've got

to figure out some way...

Say, will you listen?!

Oh, yes.

A way to figure out to...

To get you out of this!

Oh... oh, yes, yes.

If there was only some way

for him to resign.

Mr. Mayo,

it just occurs to me...

why are you so anxious

to get rid of me...

after you worked so hard

to elect me?

You don't think he wanted

you elected, do you?

Well, of course, son,

it was just a show...

but we meant

to do right by you.

Oh. You mean

you nominated me...

because I was more likely

to be defeated than anyone else.

This is politics, you fool!

Why, sure, son.

Now, we've got to be reasonable.

We help to elect Morgan...

his organization

takes care of us.

Then she was right.

A cat's-paw.

Now let's get down to cases.

You've been elected mayor.

Yes. I've been elected mayor.

And the point is...

The point is

that I'm going to be mayor.

Without any interference

from you or anybody else.

Now, wait a minute, you're not

talking to the newspapers.

No, I'm talking to you.

Why, do you think...

with a chance to do

some good in this town...

that I'm gonna

pick up my tail and run?

You'd better...

Do you realize, Mr. Morgan...

that this town is filthy

with corruption?

Now, hold on now!

It's full of bandits!

We have bandits in China, yes...

but they're

a bunch of, uh, buttercups...

compared to the ones

you have in this town!

Wait a minute!

I can't keep those reporters

downstairs much longer.

They're yellin' for Mr. Cobb.

Quick, Ed.

They mustn't see you.

The back stairs this way?

So, you said

you could handle him, eh?

Ha ha! Well, you better.

Oh, I will. Don't worry.

Stall them all

for a minute if you can.

Well, I can't!

All right, Cobb, you're mayor.

That's settled,

but now you listen to me.

You're gonna do just

as you're told, you understand?

You can sit back

and look important...

but the organization

will run the city.

Now, is that clear?

It's very clear.

OK, then remember it.

Now let me to the talking.

How about it, Mr. Mayor?

Got a sizzling statement

on the tip of your tongue?

Come right in, boys.

Mr. Cobb was just going

to send for you.

Congratulations!

You sure put over a fast one.

The headlines are waiting.

How about a story

from the fighting missionary?

Tell us all about how you're

going to reform this burg.

Speak up, Mr. Cobb,

you're among friends.

No, I'll talk for Mr. Cobb

if you don't mind, boys.

He's had a hard day

and he's dead tired.

Ain't you, Mr. Cobb?

Not at all.

I'm not the least tired.

Go ahead, mayor,

shoot the works.

Sure, didn't they tell you

what to say?

Oh, yes.

I was told

I should sit back...

and allow the organization

to run the city.

Now, wait a minute...

This I refuse to do.

Hey, Jake,

he's reading the wrong speech.

I don't think

I should allow anyone...

to dictate my actions.

I realize that I know

nothing whatever...

about governing a city...

therefore,

I shall welcome advice.

The blind man,

lest he stumble in darkness...

welcomes the guiding footsteps

even of an ass.

- Ling Po.

- What?

And he looked

right at you, Jake.

Who is this Ling Po?

A sage who lived

under the Chi Lung dynasty.

Well, he certainly knew

his onions.

Say, Mr. Cobb,

what job does Jake Mayo get?

Well, Mr. Mayo's been

very kind to me.

I find in him

many splendid qualities.

As a man.

But as a politician, well...

I question his honesty.

Wow! Can we publish that?

Certainly. Why not?

Let me outta here!

That's enough

for an extra edition!

Say...

Anything more from Ling Po?

No!

Say, what was that crack

you made about me?

Holy cats. Listen to that.

Jeez, look at that mob!

Brass bands and everything.

Uh, Mr. Mayo,

I hope you're not offended...

Offended?

I haven't got time to be.

Now, they're yelling for you

and you got to make a speech...

and this time you're gonna say

what I tell you!

Well, I shall, providing

I approve of your sentiments.

Sentiments, my eye!

Now get this...

"Fellow citizens,

I've been elected mayor...

"on a wave

of popular indignation.

"I'm gonna give this city

an honest, fearless government.

"A government

with the best interests...

"of the people at heart.

"For first, last, and always

I am a servant of the people.

"I'll work 24 hours a day

to make this...

"the best-run city

in the United States!"

Now, you got that?

Why, Mr. Mayo, that's splendid.

And that's exactly

what I'd like to do.

Well, that's just hogwash

for the public.

Now, get out there and say it!

Oh, I'll be glad to.

Now, let's see...

I think I got it

almost word for word.

Let's see...

Speech! Speech! Speech!

Uh...

Fellow citizens...

Uh...

"First and last, I am always

a servant of the people"?

Yes, yes!

Uh...

Fellow citizens...

Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!

Quiet!

I'll do the best I can.

Aw, nuts!

I tell you,

I won't stand for it!

You think I'm going to have

my salary cut in half?

Well, now don't worry, Lou.

I'll talk with him about it.

Well, you'd better

because I won't stand for it!

Is Mayor Cobb in?

I want to see him right away!

Well, what's up?

What's up?

That idiotic mayor of yours...

have vetoed my bill

for a municipal hothouse...

for yellow chrysanthemums!

Well, I'll speak to him.

Just give me time.

But he can't do that, Jake!

I know he can't!

Will you excuse me

just a minute? I'll...

- Oh, say, Mayo!

- Yeah?

Did you tell that young fool

to veto the garbage franchise?

Of course not!

I begged him...

Do you realize he's robbing me

of a cool 100,000?

Me, with a family of 5 children?

I know, Pete, but you can talk

to him this afternoon.

I will!

And if he quotes

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