The Cat's-Paw Page #7

---

another Chinese proverb...

I'll kill him!

Hi, Jake! I see Ling Po made

the headlines again.

What?!

Don't get sore, Jake.

You can handle him.

- Yes, you can.

- Hi, Red!

Hi, boys.

Well, what has he done today?

Well, he hasn't torn down

the city hall yet.

But he vetoed the bus franchise

and will Morgan like that?

That guy's nuts for bucking

the Morgan crowd.

Here's the screwiest one yet.

Advertising for

commissioner of public works.

Boys, here's the payoff!

He just fired

Police Commissioner Moriarity!

- He did?

- Yeah!

Good morning, Mr. Moriarity.

Say, Mayo...

what in thunderation's

the meaning of this?

Now what?

Now what? I'm fired!

- No!

- Yes!

Holy cats, what next?

Say, Mayo,

he can't get away with this.

I've been

police commissioner for...

Of course he can't, Dan.

Now, wait a minute.

I'll talk to him.

Is the mayor in his office?

He just stepped out to lunch,

Mr. Mayo.

Yes, he would. Who with?

I'm not sure, sir...

but he said something about

a Mr. Wang.

Wang? Wang?

Wang...

That Chink again.

And I hardly know

which way to turn next.

Their method of government

is so complicated...

I cannot understand it.

But you do understand...

the difference

between right and wrong.

That is always simple.

Continue to act simply

and you will be acting wisely.

Yes, but wisdom

without experience...

is like water without a pail

in which to carry it.

Ling Po.

The great sword of Fu Wong?

It's a treasure

I have long sought.

A relic of the ages!

Would it not please you

to feast your eyes upon it?

Indeed, yes.

Mayor Cobb here?

He is with Mr. Wang, sir.

Yeah?

One side, monkey.

Pardon me, sir,

but you cannot go down there.

Chee Foo is unpacking

the shipment...

and will bring the great sword

here immediately.

Hey, Cobb!

I got a message for you.

Just two words.

And they are?

Lay off!

Lay where?

You got me.

This comes straight from Morgan.

He don't like the way

you're actin'.

I take that for a threat.

I'll say it's a threat.

Mr. Strozzi, you irritate me.

Your childish threats

are very annoying.

Yeah?

You seek to frighten with

a wickedness you think is new.

Why, in China,

they've dealt with...

bandits like you

for 4,000 years.

This ain't China.

I'm liable to forget

that it isn't.

I may resort

to a Chinese system...

that is centuries old

and cut off your heads.

Ha ha!

And if I start beheading,

I'll begin with you.

Say, look here, Cobb...

if you think

that you're gonna...

What the...

Trying to throw a scare

into me, eh?

May I bid you good day,

Mr. Strozzi?

Now let's look upon

the great sword of Fu Wong.

Just remember what I told you!

And to think that

this is the very sword...

with which the great Fu Wong...

beheaded every bandit

in the city of Gang Wo.

Don't forget!

We mean business!

It's still very sharp.

Just watch out. That's all.

What time did he say

he'd be back?

2:
00.

Ehh... it's 3:
00 now.

Good afternoon, Mr. Mayo.

Hey, what's been keeping you?

I'm sorry I'm late.

I had to buy some cigarettes.

Well, that Pratt dame

sells matches, too...

and they're cheaper.

Say, you young idiot!

Idiot?

You fired

the police commissioner.

I'm quite aware of the fact.

Well, why?

I learned

he was accepting graft.

Oh, you don't mean it.

Now listen, Cobby,

this has got to stop.

It's all right

to make a bluff of reform...

but you're going too far.

You're busting up

the whole machine.

- Machine?

- The system!

The system it's taken us

years to build.

Now there's enough gravy

washing around this town...

to put us all on easy street...

and just when

we get it organized...

you think we're gonna let

a little cockeyed fool like...

Mr. Mayo, I like you.

Hey?

I've never known any white men.

Well, except my father and you.

A fine man, my father.

Ahh.

He's devoted his life

to the needy in China.

Taught them,

cared for the sick...

helped them in times of famine.

You know,

you're very much like my father.

Huh?

Now, this is no time

for kidding.

No, I'm serious.

I believe you would do that.

You would help the needy.

You would make sacrifices

for them.

And on top of that,

you're a crook, aren't you?

Well, what of it?

Now, that's what

I like about you.

You're so honest

in your dishonesty...

that at heart

I believe you're honest.

Say that again,

kinda slow like.

That gives me a thought.

Get me

the City Press Association.

W-what are you up to?

I've solved a problem.

City Press Association?

I've just appointed

a police commissioner...

to replace Daniel Moriarity.

Well, who are you gonna...

I just appointed Mr. Jake Mayo.

Hey, you can't do that. Wait!

It's done.

Holy cats.

And he fires me

because he says...

I didn't agree

with some guy named Ling Po.

I'm telling you, Chief...

that Chink joint

gave me the creeps.

You should have seen it!

Oh, forget it.

When were you notified, Dan?

This morning,

right out of a clear sky!

And all he kept talking about

was cutting off my head.

He dug up the dirt

about that gambling joint...

and spilled the whole story

to the papers.

And you know he vetoed

the bus franchise, too.

All right, we'll give him

one more chance.

The board of aldermen

have just passed the bill...

awarding the street cleaning

contract to my company.

If he vetoes that...

we'll start to move in on him

and we'll move fast.

Take him for a ride, eh?

No.

No, there's a better way

than that...

to put him out of the way.

I tell you,

I won't be police commissioner!

What'll my friends think?

What'll my...

Say, will you pay

some attention to me?

Oh, pardon me.

What were you saying?

L... I don't want to be

police commissioner.

Why not?

Well, you can't make

a silk sow...

You can't make a sow's purse...

Well, anyway, you can't!

He who has lived

in the jungle...

is best equipped

to fight wild beasts.

- What?

- Ling Po.

What do you mean

live in a jungle?

$700,000. That's rather

a high figure, isn't it?

Eh, what?

Yes, of course it is.

There's another one

for $200,000 less.

Jake Mayo...

police commissioner.

Think of my reputation.

Isn't that company

as good as this one?

Sure it is,

but it ain't Morgan's.

And if you think I'm going

Reform at my age, you're crazy!

L... What are you doing?

I'm going to veto this bill.

Now, wait a minute, son.

I'd go easy on that one

if I were you.

For what reason?

Well, that's Morgan's pet graft.

I don't think you'd live

to be an old man...

if you vetoed that.

Why, you heard what

I just said, didn't you?

Yes, but what else could I do?

If Morgan controls the company,

it's obviously dishonest.

Well, that settles it.

Son...

you're talking to

the best police commissioner...

this town ever had.

Put it there.

Hey, what are you looking at?

I'm looking at the moon.

Oh. Yeah. There's a moon.

Uh, yes.

And I was thinking

what a beautiful time...

that I have with you, Miss Pet.

Why, China, you outdo yourself.

Well, it's all quite true.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes