The Cat's Meow Page #6

Anybody who's anybody

plays ping-pong.

It is rather dull. I only play

'cause I can beat Tom.

- Tom Ince?

- That's right.

Why should it matter

if you can beat Tom Ince?

Because Tom Ince is my lover.

That is fascinating.

I mean,

that is truly fascinating.

We only just met,

and yet you instinctively

feel like you can trust me.

You know something,

Margaret,

that's happened to me

all my life.

People feel

that they can confide

their deepest

darkest secrets in me.

Like you just did.

I hate to burst your bubble,

I would have told whoever

was on the other side

of that ping-pong table.

Yes, but how fortunate

that I just learned how

to play ping-pong

or else you might have told

the wrong person.

There are wrong people,

you know.

Yes, I know.

Don't worry,

your secret is safe with me.

My serve?

Marion! Marion!

Bring it in!

Happy birthday, Tom!

Make a wish!

All right, here it goes.

Would you take it to be cut?

Thank you.

All right, hold it down back there.

Hold it down.

I want to propose

a birthday toast

to my good friend

and cowboy creator,

- Thomas Harper Ince,

one of the giants

of the motion picture industry.

To just give you an idea

of how big he is,

he's just made a proposal

that we merge our holdings

in the motion picture industry.

We haven't come

to an agreement yet,

but I can say, that he's one of

the most insightful and...

observant men

I've ever known.

Perhaps now's the time...

I hereby call this meeting

of the board of directors

Officially over!

All right, all right.

Music, music!

Here's to Tom!

Thank you, WR.

You're too generous.

Now the real thing on everyone's

mind is whether or not

Willie will let us have

another glass of champagne?

Is that what's on everybody's mind?

A second glass of champagne?

Well, it's on my mind,

I can tell you that.

I do not ask much.

But the little I do ask I...

must be respected.

I don't say this...

as a threat,

It's just a wish

I have as a man.

I...

I...

I'm a man

asking for people to...

behave according to my wishes...

on my boat.

Why is that

so difficult to understand?

Charleston! Charleston!

Charleston!

Dah-da-da-da-da...

Excuse me for one moment.

I'll be right back.

- Everything all right, Tom?

- Yeah. Damn ulcer. It'll pass.

Watch it, Charlie,

we're doing the tramp now.

I'm proud of you.

Proud of what?

I'm observant, I'm insightful

but I still

don't have a deal yet.

- Tom, for God's sake...

- You don't understand.

I need a firm decision from him

or this whole weekend is worthless.

- Let's dance, Georgie-Porgie.

- Certainly.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you Marion Davies,

The New Tramp.

WR.

Hello, Tom.

I have to thank you again

for making this birthday so memorable.

Don't mention it.

I also want to thank you

for your kind words

about my business proposition.

I really think

we'd make a great team.

Yes, Tom.

Partnerships of any kind

are based on two things,

trust...

and sharing.

If you had information to share

with me I'd trust you to do so.

That's why I think it best that

I bring something to your attention.

While you've been busy

being such a gracious host,

I've been keeping an eye

on another situation.

Thank you, Tom.

I needed to know.

Now I'll...

I'll handle this matter.

You see what I want,

I want Mr. Hearst to listen to me

but I don't want to be rude.

You'll get nowhere with WR

by behaving politely.

Really?

Good manners are

for waiters and doormen.

Writers and artists are exonerated

from such impractical behavior.

Best to avert your eyes, dear.

But what about the baby, Charlie?

Willie'll turn the lead

into the biggest scandal.

The press knows already.

There hasn't been a scandal yet.

It'll be a scandal

if you don't marry her.

Or worse, if you run off

with some gorgeous blonde.

They'll rip you to pieces.

You'll look so pretty

while you're digging my grave.

Stop.

Come in.

I did it.

I got to Hearst.

You didn't get him just yet.

I've taken care of any worries

the old man might have.

I'm glad someone's worries

have been taken care of.

Oh, come on, honey.

I mean...

I'm feeling good right now.

Don't spoil it for me, okay?

I wouldn't want

to spoil anything.

I'm having the best time,

playing ping-pong

with Lolly Parsons

and hanging around for those

moments you want to screw!

I'm sorry that in the middle of

trying to save my professional life

I wasn't able to give

your acting career a boost.

This isn't about

my acting career, God damn you!

This is about us!

I... really don't have

time for this.

I want out.

Not again.

- No, not again. This is it.

- I'm liable to take you seriously.

Really?

That would be the first time.

All right.

I can see that you're in no mood

to discuss this rationally so,

I'll take a walk on deck,

let you calm down.

But, if you still want out,

please have the decency

to be discreet.

Why, I'm the very flower

of decency.

Here's your

goddamn birthday present!

Shut the hell up!

We've got to say the hell

with the press and Lita and Willie

- 'cause we believe in us.

- Charlie...

I know, I know.

Time, time...

My mother always said,

"Romantic love fades.

Marry for sympathy

and friendship."

But you're not married.

Yet.

Uh-hmm.

Maybe Marion's awake.

I loved Willie...

or I still love him.

- You gotta think about us now.

- Hey, have faith in me, okay?

I have faith.

What do you think about this?

"The Gold Rush," starring

Charlie Chaplin and Marion Davies.

- What?!

- I gotta replace Lita.

- So, I'm your second choice?

- You would've been my first if...

If I had slept with you sooner.

Yeah.

We were good tonight.

Well, I was good.

I was better.

Oh my God!

Marion?

- Tom. It's you.

- Who were you expecting?

No one.

I... had a chill for a moment.

Can I be frank with you?

If I'm going to be

overseeing your pictures,

I need for us to come to terms

about a few things.

Things that are...

troubling WR.

Like?

Like you and...

Charlie.

And I'd be the first to admit

that I had my share of indiscretions.

But I need

to know the truth

in order to balance

your needs with...

with those of WR.

He will find out, you know.

And when he does, I'd rather be

someone who can help you.

How do I look?

Silly, right?

Charlie had certain feelings for me.

But I've convinced him

that it's useless to pursue me.

He says he loves me.

But there was never any love.

At least not from my side

there wasn't.

I don't love him.

I never have.

So... that's it.

That's really all there is.

Noo! Nooo!!

What? Be quiet!!

Oh my God, Willie,

what the hell did you do?

Yes?

I'll be right there.

Hello?

What?!

Hurry! Please!

Oh, Christ's sake!

I didn't mean to do it.

It was an accident.

Ahhh!!

Oh, for God's sake!

Joe.

Shut her up.

Is he dead?

No.

It's okay, Lolly.

It's all right.

Ahh!

Shh... it's okay.

Come on,

let's get you to your room.

We've got to get him

to some real facilities.

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes