The Coca-Cola Kid

G'day, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Australia.

As you know...

Australia is an island

which has been isolated...

from many dangerous

animal and plant diseases.

The cabin area is now being

sprayed by quarantine officers.

This is an essential precaution

against the insects...

which might

otherwise introduce...

human or agricultural diseases

into Australia.

Please ensure

that you remain seated...

until the spraying is completed.

lf you experience discomfort

from aerosol sprays...

we suggest you place

a handkerchief...

over your nose and mouth.

Thank you for your attention.

A gentleman to see you.

Frank Hunter?

Becker. Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

Who from where?

Becker. Atlanta, Georgia.

Straight from the airport.

Just dropped my cargo bag

and stuff at a hotel...

and came right here.

This is beautiful.

l'm pleased to meet you, Becker.

What can l do for you?

l was to report

to you today, wasn't l?

-Telex just arrived.

-Thank you.

Excuse me.

Sit down, please.

Yes. lt's all here.

You beat your assignment papers.

l like a man who arrives

before his print-out.

l just never understand...

why these telexes

always arrive damp.

Well, Becker, they call you--

for my eyes only--

''A brilliant troubleshooter.''

That's about right.

My only problem is

l'm not aware...

that we're

in any kind of trouble.

Well, that's why l'm here.

l'm sorry.

l guess everybody has trouble.

We have a month.

What for?

To get a job done.

To find firstly,

where the trouble is...

secondly, why it is...

thirdly, devise a strategy...

and four, act.

lt sounds simple.

lt is.

You'll see.

Can l offer you something--

coffee, tea?

Yes. Please.

Which would you like?

Coffee or tea?

Yeah, that's fine with me--

coffee or tea.

Thanks.

How are you, little guy?

OK, little guy.

Your breakfast, sir.

Welcome to Australia.

Everybody's happy

to see you here, sir.

l won't say who or why,

according to instructions.

Take care of your jet lag, sir,

and have a very, very nice day.

What the hell was that?

l took about six hours

straight through.

Buy your Australian here!

Get your Australian here!

What d'you wanna buy?

What are you reading?

Get your Australian here!

Get your Tatts Lotto

weekly numbers!

Excuse me, sir, do you sell

American newspapers?

American newspapers?

This is Australia, mate.

We sell Australian papers.

Well, that would be

appropriate, yes.

Right on.

Take it or leave it.

l'll leave it. Thanks.

G'day, Mr. Becker.

-Hello.

-Have a nice day.

Mr. Hunter told me l'll be

working as your secretary...

while you're here.

Well, that's just fine.

lt's almost 9:
00.

l'll see you at the office.

Oh, right. See you.

Frank, can we talk now?

Come in, Fred.

Shut the door.

Frank, what's going on?

Our advice from headquarters

is ''Listen to him.

''Don't get angry.

''Don't get scared, either.

''And do not be surprised.''

How am l supposed

not to get surprised...

when he walks into my office

and asks can he borrow a bible?

They call him ''Whiz Kid.''

They advise don't try

to understand him.

They don't.

They just know he doubles

and triples sales in no time.

He asked me

if l'd ever heard anything...

l'd call an Australian sound.

Did you?

''And you should know,

Coca-Cola is sold...

''in 155 nations

across the world...

''and it is the same drink

everywhere.

''We have more markets

than the United Nations.''

''Every day,

''pause for that moment

of refreshment...

''that unparalleled moment--''

Underline ''unparalleled.''

Well, if you don't want

to understand what my point is.

OK, what's your point?

lf men and women

are gonna work together...

something might happen.

l don't want to hear that.

''Let there be

no misunderstanding.

''Our policies and strategies...

''will be dictated

by the needs and desires...

''of the consuming public.''

''Needs and desires...''

Needs and desires of what?

Maybe you're just not

interested in women.

Do you hear that sound?

lt's a very specific sound.

Get your truth here.

Words on every page.

Girls and news.

Cartoons and girls.

Cartoons, girls, and news.

All the news!

Excuse me, sir.

l would love

to have your picture--

And your sound.

You're going to use me

in the movies?

Yes! Movie.

My phone number.

lf l'm not here, the fellas

know where to find me.

Ring me agent.

Mr. Joe.

Thank you very much.

You may be asking yourselves...

''What is an ex-Marine doing

on this side of the globe?''

Well, as you may

or may not know...

Marines fall on every continent

on the face of the earth...

except Australia, so here l am.

First, we have

to ask ourselves...

do we need to explain

our product to the public?

Last year in Rome...

l had a chance to talk

with one of the top guys...

in the Jesuit hierarchy,

and he told me...

he said they consider us--

excuse me, miss,

your feet belong on the floor--

they consider us,

in bringing God's business...

of good will and good news

to the people...

no less than second

to themselves...

in this whole wide

God-fearing world. Yes.

They see us as the smart guys...

who distribute and sell

the miracle of America.

And that's exactly what we are.

When you have a product

with charisma...

you don't have to explain

a goddamn thing, no.

Here you go, honey.

You need only

bring it to the people.

Good catch.

Try to analyze it,

and you'll end up...

with ''dark color,

cold, wet, and bubbly.''

Come on.

That is no way to explain...

what getting in touch

with the American way of life...

really means

to billions of people.

Listen--the sound of Coke.

Mmm ! Dark and bubbly.

Why our dark and bubbly liquid

is so loved...

by all those Eskimos

and other Canadians...

we don't need to know.

We need only just

to bring it to the people.

All right.

OK. Here we are.

Sorry about that.

lt won't take a sec.

Whenever you're ready,

Mr. Projectionist.

Just getting the focus.

This is quite

a pretty effect, Daryl.

We're working on it.

Let us look

at available charts...

of crosscheck points

and social activities...

of our selling outlets,

shall we?

Excuse me, please.

Sorry, boss.

Frank, have them

take it back again.

Take it back, Fred.

Well, how far back do you want?

As far as it takes, Fred.

Could you take that back,

please, Daryl.

Fred, give me a break.

The other way.

More.

-Stop.

-Stop!

Frank, what is that

wide gap there?

ls that a per capita

consumption chart?

Yes, that's right.

l don't know what's there.

Must be a national park

or maybe a desert.

We should be selling in

national parks and in deserts.

People tend to get thirsty

in deserts, Fred.

Maybe it's uninhabited.

l have a hunch there must be

somebody there.

All right.

Take me in for a closer look.

Give me churches...

schools, bars...

Oh, that would be

Anderson Valley.

Playgrounds,

supermarkets, cemeteries.

See? There is

a living population there.

A few thousand maybe.

lt's pretty isolated.

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