The Crew

-All the boys want to do it.

-Youre kidding me.

Think aboutit.

Well think about it, a long time.

Im done. how about you guys?

What is so wrong about a union?

What did I say?

Brick, youre a lock, as usual,

for the Dumb-Ass-of-the-Year Award.

-And a union is such a bad idea?

-No. Run that by Nicky Black.

Definitely.

Tell him we want paid sick days,

two weeks vacation and...

...time-and-a-half if we whack someone

after regular business hours.

Dont bust my balls.

And dental. Right, Mouth?

Yeah, dental. Absolutely.

Definitely gotta have a good dental plan.

Nickyll kick your teeth in and say,

Theres your frigging dental plan.

Forget about it. I was just talking.

-What the--

-Pull over. Pull over.

All right.

Jimmy Whistles. You readu to talk now?

Wheres the truck gonna be?

The Pylaski Skuway, Exit 77.

Seventy-seven.

Get him out of here.

Jimmy, you need to lau off

the meatball sandwiches.

Let him walk home.

hey, any of you guys working for Calabrisi

interested in unionising?

What the hell?

We were friends

for as long as I can remember.

From the time we were kids, the only thing

we ever really wanted to do...

...was become wise guys

and be part of the same crew.

Sometimes dreams come true.

Time for work.

Lets punch in.

This is Truck 3. Ive an abandoned

truck here that seems to be--

hey, pal.

Joey Pistella.

hows it going?

Nobody messed with Joeu.

Back when we was kids in Weehawken,

the coach wouldntlet Joeu be pitcher.

You throw like a girl. You stink.

I throw like a girl.

Do I hit like a girl, too, Coach?

Do l?

Everyone called Joeu Bats.

Enough said.

hey!

Describe what we look like.

Youre two fat Puerto Ricans.

Mike Donatelli.

We called him The Brick.

You hear what the hell he called us?

Sweet guy.

About 10 Luckyes short of a pack.

There was Tonu Donato. Chicks dug him.

Really thought that he was hot.

Ironic considering...

...he was one of the best arsonists

in the Triborough area.

Okay.

hey, Mouth, hows it going?

Okay.

We all called Tony Mouth

because he neversaid much of nothing.

Okay!

That would be like Mouth

at his most talkative.

hey, Bobby.

Its going to be a good Christmas.

Yeah, bet your sweet ass.

And there was me, Bobby Bartellemeo.

I never had a nickname thatstuck.

Some guys, awhile back,

on account of my mother being Jewish....

hey, Paul. Its Bobby The Jew.

Bobby The Jew.

I thought that was disrespectful.

Sh*t!

So The Jew thing never really caught on.

here you go, Bobby.

Thanks, Louie.

-Drinks for everybody?

-Yeah, drinks.

Being part of a crew was beautiful all right.

Money, power, respect. We had it all.

Life was for the taking,

and we took it, babu.

Why live any other way?

All right, our crew. Good guys...

...good times.

And those good times,

they were going to last forever.

Who said that good times

would last forever?

I thought wed be dead by now.

The union doesnt seem so stupid now,

does it?

Miami Beach. Used to be

the average age around here was like 82.

Then that broad, Madonna,

decides that this is the place to be.

Next thing you know, everywhere

you turn, its women with big breasts...

...and men with big breasts.

Breasts are very big here.

Excuse me.

hi. Do you live here?

Define live.

Were looking for an apartment

down here at the beach--

We were wondering if anyone

with an ocean view has died here...

-...recently?

-No.

If you two would like to hang out,

you could be the first to catch the smell.

Get out of here.

What?

Get the hell out of here.

-Listen, Pops--

-No.

You listen.

I squeeze this ball four hours every day.

Now, if I was to squeeze your balls...

...it would take the jaws of frigging life

to get my hands off them.

Ive got nothing to live for. You probably

want to be seen in an underwear ad.

Come on, Val.

-howd he know about the underwear ad?

-I dont know.

This kind ofstuff

was happening every day now.

The Raj Mahal, where we all lived,

was the last...

...of the old retirement hotels

on South Beach.

-You all right?

-Forget about it. It was just a gas bibble.

You sure?

The four of us...

...were pretty much the last

of the old-timers still hanging on here.

Coming through.

They wheeled them out faster than

you could say ventricular fibrillation.

And ifyou had an ocean view,

forget aboutit.

Now, I just want you to imagine this

with no hospital bed...

...and no oxygen tank,

and a fresh coat of paint.

Lets see now, where are the lights?

There we go.

You know what they say,

Out with the old, in with the tattoos.

It wasjust a matter of time for us, too.

A view.

No, Bats!

Bats still had a temper.

his doctorsaid he ran down the batteries...

...on his pacemaker

faster than anyone hed everseen.

Look at this. I got a nice Christmas card

from Jerry No Nose up in Boca.

-Sh*t.

-The Brick...

-he had ear cancer.

-...he was still The Brick.

No nose, now no ear.

Regular Mr. Potato head.

Wow, a $.50 hallmark.

Look at this. What a beauty, eh?

And Mouth....

Mouth had given up talking altogether.

Constantlu surrounded

by so many beautiful girls...

...with a prostate

the size of a Vidalia onion...

...it was like waving candu corn

in front of a diabetic.

Four old wiseguys waiting it out

in a goddamn Miami Beach hotel.

hell mystlook like this room.

When you stop doing

whatitis you love to do, you know...

...like embezzlement or extortion,

youre toast. Youre done. Its over.

At least, thank God,

we still got our ears, right?

Merrily, merrily, merrily

Everything was different now.

Back when we were wiseguys we thought

the biggestschnook was the nine-to-fiver...

...scratching together a couple of fazools

just to pau his bills.

Well, I finally had a nickname:

Bobby The Schnook.

Row, row, row

Mouth danced at a place on the beach.

$3.50 an hour and tips.

he did Okay.

To this crowd, he still had it.

More important than sex appeal,

they thought he was a good listener.

I told my sister,

Trudy, forget the bridge tournament.

Let a doctor take a look at that.

She wouldnt listen.

Now she has nine toes.

She lives in Miami and cant wear sandals.

Whats the point?

Now her grandchildren....

Good thing Mouth didntstill own a gun.

I need a Whopper with cheese.

As for Bats....

I want the mauo spread very lightlu

on the bottom byn.

I also want the lettuce and one pickle

wrapped separatelu on the side.

Ladu, I know what the commercial says,

but special orders...

...do upset us.

Whopper.

Whopper?

In the office!

Bats mystve been fired

from every Byrger King in Dade Countu.

I dont know. Once youre over 60...

...you shouldnt have to answer to a punk

named Skippy to make a living.

Nothing against the Burger King people.

The product is fabulous.

Charbroiled. Enough said.

Brick had got sentimental in his old age.

he felt that working with stiffs,

giving them a nice send-off...

...sQuared things a little

for all the guys hed clipped.

Making them look happu,

that was his trademark.

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