The Devil's Brigade Page #2

Change direction right!

Right wheel.

Mark time in front.

Canadian company...

...halt.

Left turn.

Maj. Crown, sir. Canadian army.

Reporting for duty.

Glad to have you with us, Crown.

Ready, company...

Capt. Cardwell, get these men

into formation on the double.

Sergeant, company formation

on the double.

Company formation over here

and on the double, let's go!

Come on, move it. On the double.

God save the King.

God save us all.

Parade rest!

Welcome to the First Special Service Force.

There's only one really important thing

to know and remember about the force.

It's the easiest combat unit in the army...

...to get out of.

All you have to do is fail to measure up.

You'll be returned immediately

to your former unit...

...or predicament.

It's entirely up to you.

You Canadians, I'm told...

...are the handpicked best

of the best-trained army in the world.

We'll soon find out about that.

You Americans, for the most part...

...have an entirely different reputation.

I've been supplied with full details

on your military and moral delinquencies...

...prison records,

how many times you've been drunk...

...AWOL or both.

I know all about you...

...and I couldn't care less.

I want men that are tough...

...Iove to fight, fight to win,

and would rather die than quit.

Now, that's asking a lot...

...but no more than you're capable of

if you'll accept the challenge.

We'll soon find out about that, too.

Good luck to you all. Dismiss your men.

Company, ten hut!

- Fall out!

- Cpl. Peacock!

- Fall out the Canadians.

- Yes, sir!

Canadian company dismissed!

- Can you believe that?

- Lend me your hat. I may vomit.

- Sir...

- You, soldier.

- Where are you going?

- Sir, I've got to see the Colonel.

If you ever hope to see

the outside world again...

...get back where you belong.

I don't belong anywhere.

I'm AWOL from Camp Gillam.

I escaped from the stockade.

I didn't arrive on the train, I walked.

- I want to transfer to this outfit.

- Get!

Soldier!

- In my office.

- Thank you, sir.

Phone his camp. Find out all about him.

I'll be in Communications. Let me know.

- Excuse me, haven't we met before?

- Get the hell outta here!

It's just that you remind me

of a sweet young thing I used to know.

I won't tell you again, mate.

Even sound like her.

Corporal, sir, you've got

a beautiful group of handpicked men here.

- You really do.

- Bugger off.

Where I come from,

the only thing we pick by hand...

...is little yellow daffodils.

Where we come from,

we pick the rotten apples from the barrel...

...and feed them to the hogs.

Listen. One of them's a frog!

Go ahead. Say something, froggy!

Merde.

Just exactly what does that mean?

To most people, it's an insult.

But to you, I'd say it was a compliment.

- Peacock!

- Sir!

- Yes, sir.

- Peacock!

- At ease.

- Thank you, sir.

Long walk from Camp Gillam.

You must be more than ordinarily eager

to join the First Special Service Force.

Any job that's open, sir.

Or get out of any trouble

that you happen to be in.

You know, the one thing

I have excess of here is the troublemaker.

Yes, sir.

But if I heard your speech correctly, sir,

I think you've got the answer.

Incite border warfare, so to speak...

...between the Americans and Canadians.

I only assume that was your intention, sir.

- What kind of trouble do you make?

- I play the piano, sir.

When I washed out as a flier,

I was assigned to Capt. Quill.

He runs the Officers' Club.

I was to clean up during the day

and play piano at night.

I didn't much fancy sitting out the war

playing I'll Never Smile Again...

...so I asked to be transferred

to Intelligence.

That should be a perfect spot for you.

You're obviously intelligent,

perceptive, adroit.

Thank you, sir.

...and calculating.

How did Capt. Quill fancy your

playing around with his girlfriend?

The girl he thought was his girlfriend, sir.

I thought otherwise.

He won the argument.

- So he beat you up.

- Not all by himself...

Don't lie to me!

I have all the facts.

You're charged with striking an officer.

Capt. Quill asked you to stay away

from his girl, you attacked him...

...and his men had to use clubs

to subdue you.

I'm not crazy enough to strike an officer.

Sir, if you send me back, Quill could

keep me in prison for the rest of my life.

Yes, I know.

Don't calculate

that you can con your way in here.

- You read me correctly?

- Yes, sir.

I'm sorry to have bothered you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Ransom, did I give you

permission to leave?

No, sir.

What's this?

When you beat somebody up,

that's a good way to play safe, isn't it?

Tie his hands behind his back.

Bricker!

- Yes, sir?

- Get this man a uniform.

You've got to be kidding!

The uniforms have been ordered, sir.

But nobody knows...

Get him something decent to wear.

He smells.

Yes, sir.

That's all.

Sir.

I promise you, you won't be sorry.

If I am, I promise you,

you'll be a lot more sorry.

Yes, sir.

Those bastards!

- Something on your mind, Major?

- Yes, sir, there sure is.

We're making a big mistake going soft

on the kind of gorillas we got here.

- Did you say "gorillas"?

- Not the Canucks, the Americans.

"Canucks," Major,

is a term we consider disparaging.

Do you have a specific complaint, Major?

Yes, sir, I sure as hell do.

One of those stupid jerks out there

broke into my room...

...and stole my rattlesnake.

- Your what?

- Rattlesnake.

Maybe they don't allow them in Canada.

We destroy them,

we don't sleep with them.

Nobody likes

a promiscuous rattlesnake, Captain.

I can assure you, none of my men

would steal a rattlesnake...

...or anything else.

My men are under strict orders.

Anyone discrediting the Canadian uniform

is subject to immediate court-martial.

Among other restrictions,

they're specifically forbidden to fight.

I suggest, sir, you consider a similar order.

- Do you have a complaint, Major?

- I don't mean to belittle the Americans.

What do you mean?

There have been numerous attempts

by your men to provoke my men.

And unless they're ordered to stop,

there could be serious trouble.

- You really think so?

- I know so, sir.

- We'll have to watch that, won't we?

- Yes, sir.

How did a friendly little fellow like you

get the name of "Ornery"?

Henri. It's French for Henry.

You got yourself

a nice little piece here, Ornery.

They say them French girls

know all kinds of tricks.

Give me that, you espece de salaud!

Ain't that a purty language?

Sure is marvelous

sharing quarters with you Canucks.

- Yeah, what's so marvelous about it?

- Now, let me think...

Bronc, this man is one of

the handpicked best, right, Corporal?

Thank God they're our friends.

Imagine what would happen

if we fought against them.

We could take Canada in two weeks,

if we wanted it.

- Right, Manella?

- More like two days.

Is that a fact?

- Just you try it, mate!

- Back!

Good thing your wife wasn't under there.

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