The Devil's Brother Page #2

Maybe we'd better not be bandits.

Tut, tut, tut.

Do you think that I'm perturbed

by his idle twaddle?

- Well, he said, "Have a care."

- Come on.

But suppose we meet this Diavolo.

All we have to do

is to watch our p's and q's.

Don't you think that I know a bandit

when I see one?

Well, I don't wanna walk around

with my throat cut.

My lord and lady have been robbed

My lord and lady have been robbed

- My lord and lady have been robbed

- My lord and lady have been robbed

My lord and lady have been robbed

My lord and lady have been robbed

Find out which way the coach came,

then assemble the troops.

My lord and lady have been robbed

- What are you going to do?

- Don't you see, dear?

This must be the work of Diavolo.

It's our one big chance.

- Do be careful.

- Careful.

I'll take charge of this one.

You've gotten us into enough trouble.

Stand and deliver.

Deliver to whom?

Tell him who you are, that'll scare him.

I am Diavolo.

Yeah, and if you're not careful,

he'll cut your throat from here to there.

All over the countryside.

You better watch your q's and p's.

So you are Fra Diavolo?

'Tis true you've never seen my face,

but you've heard my voice.

On yonder rock reclining

Diavolo...

On yonder rock reclining...

Diavolo the bandit stands

In his hand his carbine hold

'Tis his best friend of old

Tremble!

E'en while the storm is beating

A while hear echo repeating

Diavolo, Diavolo, Diavolo

Gentleman, allow me to introduce you

to our rival competitors.

If you hadn't arrived in the nick of time,

Diavolo would have been no more.

With such ruffian as these

in our midst...

...everybody's life's in danger.

- Well, what shall we do with them, boys?

- Hang them!

Hanging it shall be.

Throw a rope over that tree.

Please, sir, spare our lives.

First you steal my name,

and then you hold me up.

- Hanging's too good for you.

- Oh, please, give us another chance.

We didn't mean to hold you up.

We were just coming around...

All right, all right.

I'll give you another chance.

Can we go now?

You shall be the executioner...

...and hang that overfed windbag.

And if you make a good job of it,

you can go free.

- Well, boys, did you hold up the coach?

- Yeah.

Well, let's see what you got.

And if he's not strung up

by the time I'm through:

- Well, let's see what you've got.

- Aye.

A king's ransom there, boys.

Don't hurt him, mister.

Hold on.

Chief said he had to do that.

Here you are.

Good luck, boys.

- Well, where's the money?

- Money? We found no money.

- You...? You found no money?

- No.

Do you know what was in that coach?

Five hundred thousand francs,

and you had to miss it.

- Five hundred thousand francs?

- Five hundred thousand francs.

Dolts. Fools. Idiots. Louts.

After all my work,

you've botched up everything.

For that, there won't be any split.

Can't we at least share the jewels?

That means I shall have to follow

the coach to the inn.

None of us can follow that coach, chief.

- Why not?

- We'd all be recognized.

- Yeah.

- That's right.

There, that's better.

You're choking me.

I'm sorry.

Just be careful.

- Goodbye, Ollio.

- Goodbye.

You know, I hate to have to do this,

but you heard what he said.

Please help me make a good job of it.

I'll do my best.

You know, this is going to hurt you

more than it does me.

Put yourself in my place.

I wish I could.

I know just how you feel.

- Goodbye, Ollio.

- Goodbye.

- Ollio?

- What?

Before you go,

I have a little confession to make.

You remember that girl that

you were very much in love with and...

And you wanted to marry her...

...and she wouldn't marry you

because she heard you had a son?

Well, I was to blame for that.

I told her I was your son.

Do you forgive me?

- Goodbye, Ollie.

- Goodbye.

- Ollio?

- What?

Before you go, there's just

one more thing I want to ask you.

What?

After you're gone...

...do you want to be buried,

or shall I have you stuffed?

Why, I think that I'd rather...

What do you mean, stuffed?

Well, I thought it'd be nice

to keep you in the living room.

Now, wouldn't I look silly

standing on a pedestal.

Come on and get this over with.

You're wasting my time.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye. Take it easy.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

You two, follow me.

The rest of you, get back to the camp.

- He wouldn't stay up there.

- Good.

Give me another chance.

I'll find another tree.

I'll give you both another chance.

From now on,

you'll be my personal servants...

...but you will only know me

as the Marquis de San Marco.

- Do you understand?

- Marquis de San Marco.

That's it. Do...?

- Do you understand?

- Yes, Mr. Diavolo.

If ever you breathe the name

of Diavolo again...

...or tell anyone who I am...

...I'll find a tree for both of you.

Take these to the camp.

And after you've cleaned them,

washed them and currycombed them...

...send them to me.

Isn't that nice?

Now I don't have to hang you.

And I don't have to have my throat cut,

and we can...

- What's that for?

- My son.

Will there be anything else, milady?

- Oh, just straighten up this confusion.

- Yes, milady.

Oh, those horrible, horrible bandits.

And all those beautiful jewels

I gave you, gone.

All save one, milord.

And my money?

Safe as a bug in a rug.

Clever of me to think

of having it sewn in your petticoat.

I wouldn't dare travel in this country

with so much money on me.

But perhaps someone may find it on me.

What...? What...? Why...

Who, my dear, besides myself,

would be likely to see your lingerie, huh?

No one but you, milord.

One would think, my dear,

you'd never seen a sedan chair.

I am the Marquis de San Marco.

If your inn pleases me, I shall want

the best accommodations for myself...

...and retinue.

All our thoughts

will be for your comfort, milord.

You may have any suite in the house,

Your Excellency.

Except our suite, I trust.

Milord, I would sleep in the barn

rather than discommode you.

Find out your quarters

and await my pleasure.

Don't lift until I tell you.

Up.

- Prepare everything comfortable, please.

- Yes. Go fetch your best linen.

What do you think

you're trying to do to my bull?

And you had to wave a red handkerchief.

Remember the song

you were teaching me in the coach?

Could I forget

the happiest hour of my life?

Pamela. Pamela.

Are you going to stay out there

all afternoon?

For you.

Beauty from the beautiful.

Oh, I know I'm just going to love

this romantic old inn.

Look.

What does it say?

There's a reward of 20,000 lire

offered for the capture of Diavolo.

Come here.

All we've got to do

is to capture Diavolo...

...and we've got another fortune

right in the palm of our hands.

Come on.

I hope everything will be

to your satisfaction, Your Highness.

- I know I'm going to be very happy here.

- Thank you.

Oh, my dear,

I think I require a little exercise.

I'll stroll around the garden for a while.

I'll be back in an hour or so.

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