The Devil's Rejects Page #5

will be canceled tonight.

F***.

No, please!

Housekeeping.

Housekeeping!

Ay, Julio.

Jesus Christ.

What a f***ing mess.

40-ton truck has

a tendency of doing that, Kenny.

Listen, you mind getting one

of your donut brigade to go over there

and scoop up some

of that skull matter?

Put it in a bag

for the meds.

Yeah, you got it.

Is that the lady

who found her?

Yeah, the maid.

That's Maria Gomez.

She say anything?

Yeah, a lot of things.

But I don't

speaka no Spanish.

It's all mumbo jumbo to me.

Sh*t, what am I,

the mayor of Tijuana?

Got one guy,

Clarks, he speaks Spanish,

but he called in sick

from what he calls

"explosive diarrhea. "

You mind sparing me any further details

about your deputy's a**hole, Kenny?

Seorita Gomez?

- No.

- What'd I tell ya?

She's useless.

Chief, got a couple

sh*t-kickers over there,

says they're here

to meet you.

- Recognize those guys?

- Yeah, I know 'em.

- What's going on, shitheads?

- Sheriff.

Here's the list of names I need you

to run down for me.

That's a funny-ass name.

Look who's

f***ing talking, Rondo.

Just call me

if anything connects.

I'm sure it will.

Sh*t always floats

our way, don't it?

Chief.

You keep your mouth open wide enough,

maybe you'd catch it all.

Don't f*** this up, a**holes.

Have fun scraping all them

brains up off the road.

See ya later, Kenny.

This is bullshit. I trust that f***er

Charlie about as much as I trust you.

Where the hell you get off

talking sh*t about Charlie?

Hey, I know what I know,

and I know I don't like that nut sack.

Well, unless you got

a better suggestion,

I suggest you keep

your f***ing pie hole shut.

That is the only

remotely safe place I know about.

Hey, man,

if anyone's interested,

I think I'm gonna be wanting

some ice cream in about 10 miles.

"Hey man, think I'm gonna be wanting

some ice cream in about 10 miles. "

Don't you f***ing imitate me!

It's f***ing rude!

"I know what I know

and I know I don't like that nut sack. "

- F*** you!

- F*** you!

Two f***ing seconds for the kids,

is that gonna kill you?

Yes, it is gonna kill me.

I have calculated the time

and two seconds is

the exact amount of time

that's a hazard to my f***ing health!

Come on, don't be

such a f***ing drag, I'm starving.

Hey, eat this.

What is your f***ing problem?

I'm in and out in two seconds.

I think I'm gonna get me

tutti-f***ing-fruity.

Tutti-f***ing-fruity,

that sounds good.

Tutti-f***ing-fruity!

- Shut up!

- Tutti-f***ing-fruity!

- Shut up! Shut up!

- Tutti-f***ing-fruity!

Tutti-f***ing-fruity!

There is no f***ing ice cream

in your f***ing future.

Mm, dee-licious!

I don't know why you have to be

such a grouch. This is really good.

Here, have some.

F*** you.

Tutti-f***ing-fruity!

Hey, piggy...

Yeah, over here, come on.

Come and get it.

Yes, Mr. Wy-f***ing-dell.

Piggy, come over here

and get some.

Don't f***ing move, clown.

You looking for somebody?

George?

What the hell you doing

down here, George?

I live here now.

No. You got that

all wrong, George.

I mean,

this ain't your home.

I got no choice, Johnny.

This here is my fate.

I cannot rest until

this whole thing is over.

And I'm asking you,

brother...

kill 'em, John.

End this sh*t now.

I'm-I'm walking the line on this,

brother. I'm walking the line.

Well, Mother pin a rose on me.

That is so great.

I want these motherfuckers dead!

Kill 'em!

I'm sorry, George.

- Yeah?

- Hey, I think I found your guy.

Yeah, a friend of mine,

about 10 years ago,

he used to buy hooch

from this guy out here.

Mm-hmm.

Went by the name

of Wolf J Flywheel.

Yeah, but-but his partner

called himself "The Captain. "

Sounds like the f***ers

we're looking for, huh?

Yeah, Wolf J Flywheel.

That name's on the list.

Apparently,

now Wolf J

goes by the name

of Charlie Altamont.

All right, good.

You know what to do.

We wouldn't be talking if I didn't.

So is the sh*t on?

The sh*t is on.

F***ing A.

Open the door, Deputy.

Take the night off, Freddy.

I'll watch the prisoner.

Well well well,

working late tonight,

aren't we, Sheriff?

What's the matter?

Can't sleep?

Hell running loose in the streets?

Or did ya

just miss Mama?

As a matter of fact,

I was feeling kinda lonely.

I knew you couldn't

stay away.

I got that

power over men.

Women like me

are a rare breed.

Don't you agree?

Oh, yes, ma'am, I do.

I ain't been broken,

you know.

Men like that.

Ooh, you got me going

this afternoon.

You think you

can break me?

You like it rough?

Oh, honey, you can have it

any way you want.

I don't want it rough.

Oh!

I like it hot...

and slow.

Hot...

- and slow.

- Mmm.

- Hot... and slow.

- Mmm.

Yeah.

- You like that, Mama?

- Oh, yeah.

You like that, Mama?

I...

Yeah.

Check this place out.

Whoa.

I know that ain't Cutter walking

towards me with that stupid grin.

'Cause I know I swore

if I ever saw that dumb-c*nt-

no-good-piece-of-sh*t-

motherfucking brother of mine,

he'd soon be a dead piece- of-sh*t-

no-good-motherfucking brother of mine.

Okay, everybody

in the peanut gallery,

Simon says hands up.

He said put

your f***ing hands up!

What the f***

is this sh*t?

You bring us all the way out here

and this prick pulls a gun on us?

- Nice f***ing plan, daisy.

- Just do it!

- He's a crazy pig-f***ing son...

- What'd you call me?!

Well, if you

give me a chance,

I was gonna call you a crazy-pig-

f***ing-dumb-ass-p*ssy piece of sh*t.

Oh, brother,

you's a dead man.

Ain't that the most goddamn

realest water gun you ever did see?

Oh, sh*t!

That was great, man.

Sorry about that, it's just a little game we

used to always play on folks.

- And it still works!

- Hell, yeah.

- That's a f***ing hoot.

- Johnny, this is my daughter, Baby.

- My niece?

- Yes!

You all grown up.

Give me some love!

And you remember

happy boy here.

Are you still an a**hole?

This is Casey,

my most limber lady.

And this is Candy,

my special lady

and my... top-earning gal.

What you looking at?

- I'm looking at you, mama.

- You see something you like?

Maybe. I set my standards low

so I'm never disappointed.

Oh, well,

I don't disappoint.

Ooh...

F***, let's go inside.

No sense standing

around like...

stone-foot roosters

in a f*** farm!

- Let's celebrate.

- Oh, yeah.

You know,

I gotta tell ya,

that is some catch-phrase

you got there.

"Devil's Rejects. "

You got something

to say to me, clown?

Huh?

I bet you scare

lots of folks, don't ya?

Yeah, you're a regular,

f***ing killer.

You want a piece of this, motherf***er?

You want a piece of this?!

Huh? What you got?!

What you got?!

Lord, I am

Your arm of justice.

Lord, I am Your

arm of justice.

Lord...

I am Your arm of justice,

Your righteous sword

of vengeance.

Let my blows be true.

Oh, yeah,

Lord have mercy!

What a morning.

- Clevon!

- Yeah, boss.

You know why I come here

to get these chickens?

No, boss.

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