The Emperor's New Clothes Page #4

better off dead than imprisoned.

Don't sit there all night.

Pumpkin?

Are you asleep?

I can't sleep.

Can you?

Yes, thank you.

When you first met me,

what did you think?

Undertaker.

Afterwards?

An unhappy man.

Yes.

Now I want to tell you

the reason for that unhappiness.

I've lived this so often in my head

ready to tell millions.

Now I need to tell you. It's time

for you to know the truth.

The emperor isn't dead.

I am Napoleon.

That's it,

plain and simple.

You're sharing this wonderful bed

with the emperor.

Lenormand, Eugene!

Eugene Lenormand!

I wish to see

the garrison commander.

Take this.

Sign on this line here.

And here and here.

End of the corridor.

Knock on the hatch and wait.

All right,

I heard you the first time.

- Name and request.

- Lenormand.

I must see the garrison commander.

It's of the utmost urgency.

No one sees the commander.

It's a two-month waiting list

to see his adjutant.

I have vital information concerning

the death of Emperor Napoleon.

Do you really?

I'll put you on the list.

The eagle flies

from belfry to belfry.

You don't want to go

on the list?

What about Sergeant Bommel

of the Old Guard?

His last posting was

the border patrol at Charleroi.

Bommel?

Justin. Sergeant.

You're in luck.

He's due to be posted here

in a couple of days.

Come here.

Easy, now. There.

- My dear Pumpkin...

- Get indoors. Get indoors!

My dear Pumpkin...

I came to you

in need of shelter.

I found more, much more.

But the sweetness of your affection,

the joy of this household...

have been a diversion

from my mission.

All my life, I have striven

to be master of my own destiny.

Here, I feel it

slipping away from me.

I have become a stranger

to myself.

Has anyone else

seen you like this?

Pumpkin, I know it's difficult...

but you have to stop

calling me Eugene.

I'm sorry I upset you.

But I want you to know that I will

still need you by my side...

after I've regained

the throne.

No! Stop this nonsense!

I won't listen to it.

Stop this madness, Eugene!

I won't listen to it!

- Soup for breakfast?

- Broth.

Weather's changing.

It'll build up your defenses.

The broker's coming this morning

about the land in Provence.

I have other matters to attend to.

What shall I tell him?

When's a good time?

Good time? How about never?

Is never good for you?

Where are you going?

Hey, turn around!

What does it say?

What does it say?

The last words of our emperor.

Very popular.

It's a bit racy in parts.

Read it to me.

"And it was in

the frozen wastes of Poland...

that I met my true love,

Maria Walska."

Walewska.

"She rejected

my initial advances...

but I eventually

got her alone...

and explained what would

happen to her country...

if she didn't submit

to my desires."

Imbecile!

- You asked me to read it.

- Go on, go on.

"That night, I conquered

my Poland of the flesh...

and in the morning,

what did she say?

'Do it again.

Yes, do it again."'

Eugene?

Would you say he displays

this particular behavior?

I really couldn't say.

Then I must ask your approval

to examine the man in private.

You're up.

I ran into Dr. Lambert

the other day.

I forgot to tell you.

He's brought a friend.

Dr. Quinton.

A pleasure.

I didn't get to congratulate you

on your new position.

- You left so quickly.

- It was nothing.

Are you staying long in Paris?

I never left.

Madame Truchaut tells us

you have not been sleeping well.

Did she? How thoughtful

of Madame Truchaut.

She suggests you have not

been yourself in recent days.

How would she know?

What kind of doctor

would you be, I wonder?

- Pardon?

- Your speciality, your forte.

Stomachs.

Dr. Quinton is

a stomach specialist.

Is that so?

He was in charge of a military

convalescent home outside Metz.

Really? There were that many

bowel disorders and tummy upsets?

Well, an army does travel

on its stomach, I suppose.

Dysfunction of the digestive tracts

can be indicative...

of other latent

troublesome areas.

The gastric juices can become

a foaming sea of torment...

raging over a bedrock

of mental debilitation.

A fine turn of phrase

for a bowel man.

Any other complaints

or disabilities?

None to speak of.

- How's your appetite?

- Healthy as a hunter.

- Vision?

- Eyes of an eagle.

No blurring, strange shapes

either side?

- Did you enjoy a happy childhood?

- What?

Are you subject to melancholy,

the darker humors?

Delusions of grandeur?

Coward!

Traitor!

Out of my way.

Eugene?

When I regain

my rightful position...

I'll see you're rewarded

for your services.

The only reward I want is for you

to stop tormenting yourself...

with this

make-believe story.

I offer you a world...

and you fail to believe me?

You have no imagination.

You have no faith.

I have faith in you, Eugene.

I am not Eugene!

Eugene Lenormand is nothing,

a nobody!

He's everything to me.

I...

am Napoleon.

No, you're not Napoleon!

I hate Napoleon!

He's filled France

with widows and orphans.

He took my husband!

I won't let him take you.

Look at me.

Look and tell me what you see.

A nobody.

Say it.

A shopkeeper.

A smug little greengrocer.

- I am your emperor.

- My emperor is dead.

No. That's all lies.

Your emperor

is returned to you.

I don't want him.

Nobody wants him.

They prefer him dead.

You know who I am.

You know my name.

Just say it.

Say it.

Who am I?

Come with me.

- Who am I?

- Not another word.

Come with me now...

and you will have your answer.

What are we doing here?

Philippe, it's Dr. Lambert.

Wait here.

You there, what place is this?

Inside! Inside!

Come on!

Get in!

Come on! Move!

Get in line!

Come on! Faster!

Get in line!

You've got it backwards.

Try it the other way around.

Can we have another story?

Another day.

Just one?

It's bedtime now.

You have such delicate hands.

It'll leave a mark.

Skin doesn't heal like it does

when you're a child.

Pumpkin.

Napoleon.

You're my Napoleon.

Who's that?

My son.

That was my son.

I hope he will be a better man

than his father.

Pumpkin!

I surrender.

I am your prisoner.

Thank you for today.

Thank you for showing me

you can be a happy man.

I have a message

for Sergeant Justin Bommel.

- You wish to speak with him?

- Just a message.

And I'd like to leave this.

You were here before,

weren't you?

I recognize you.

The message should read,

"Eugene Lenormand is dead."

No, not that.

"Eugene Lenormand has moved on.

He left this to remember him by."

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