The Emperor's New Groove

Aah!

Wee-be-be-bee.

Kuzco:

Will you take a look at that?

Pretty pathetic, huh?

Well, you'll never

believe this,

but that llama

you're looking at

was once a human being

And not just

any human being

That guy was an emperor

A rich, powerful ball

of charisma

Oh, yeah!

This is his story

[Crying]

Well, actually my story

That's right--

I'm that llama

The name is Kuzco

Emperor Kuzco

I was the world's

nicest guy,

and they ruined my life

for no reason

Oh, is that hard to believe?

Look, I tell you what

You go back away--

you know, before

I was a llama,

and this will all make sense

All right, now see,

that's a little too far back

Oh, ho! Look at me!

That's me as a baby

Waah!

Ahem! All right,

let' smove ahead

Oh, yeah.

Theme song guy:
There are

despots and dictators

Political manipulators

There are blue bloods

with the intellects of fleas

There are kings

and catty tyrants

Who are so lacking

in refinements

They'd be better suited

swinging from the trees

He was born and raised

to rule

No one has ever been

as cool

In a thousand years

of aristocracy

[Ship's Horn Blows]

An enigma and a mystery

In Mesoamerican history

The quintessence of

perfection that is he

Kuzco:

Ok, this is the real me

Not this

- This

- Not this.

- Winner!

- Loser.

Ok, see this palace?

Everyone in it

is at my command

Check this out

[Snaps Fingers]

Butler.

Chef.

Theme song guy.

Oh, yeah!

He's the sovereign lord

of the nation

He's the hippest cat

in creation

He's the alpha,

the omega, A to Z

[Snaps Fingers]

And this perfect world

will spin

Around his every

little whim

'Cause this perfect world

begins and ends with

Me.

What's his name?

Kuzco

That's his name

Chorus:
Kuzco

He's the king

of the world

Chorus:
Kuzco

Is he hip or what?

Chorus:
Kuzco

Yeah

[Tires Skidding]

Gow!

You threw off my groove!

Guard:
I'm sorry,

but you've thrown off

the emperor's groove.

Sorry!

You were saying?

What's his name?

Kuzco

Chorus:
Kuzco

Theme song guy:

That's his name

Is he hip or what?

Don't you know he's

the king of the world?

Whoa, yeah

Oww!

Ha!

Boom, baby!

Aah! Your Highness,

it is time for you

to choose your bride.

Kuzco:
Allrighty

Trot out

the ladies

Let's take a look-see.

Hate your hair.

Not likely.

Yikes, yikes, yikes,

and let me guess.

You have

a great personality.

Is this really

the best you could do?

Oh, yes. Oh, no.

I mean, perhaps--

Kuzco:
What

is he babbling about?

He's like the thing

that wouldn't shut up

Anyway, still wondering about

that llama in the opening?

Well, let me show you the people

responsible for ruining my life

First, there's Pacha

Uh, excuse me.

I'm here to see

Emperor Kuzco.

You see,

I got this summons--

Guard:
Inside, up the stairs,

and to the left

Just follow the signs

Oh, great.

Thanks a lot.

Kuzco:
Uh, and don't be fooled

by the folksy peasant look

Oh!

Old man:
Pardon me

That's mine

Oh, here you go.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Aah! Oh, hey.

Are you all right?

Here. Let me, uh--

Oh, you're

so very kind.

What happened?

Well, I...

I threw off

the emperor's groove.

- What?

- His groove!

The rhythm in which

he lives his life,

his pattern of behavior.

I threw it off,

and the emperor had me

thrown out the window.

[Gasps] Oh, really?

I'm supposed

to see him today.

Don't throw off

his groove!

Oh, ok.

Beware the groove.

Hey, are you

gonna be all right?

Groove.

Kuzco:
You see

what I mean?

This guy's trouble,

but as bad as he is,

he is nothing compared

to what's coming up next

Yzma:
And why have you

come here today?

Peasant:
Well

Your Highness--

I mean, Your Grace.

Kuzco:
Ok, gang

Check out this piece of work

This is Yzma,

the emperor's advisor--

living proof that dinosaurs

once roamed the Earth

And let's not forget

Yzma's right-hand man

Every decade or so

she gets a new one

This year's model

is called Kronk

[Fly Buzzing]

Yeah, I got

that there, Yzma.

- Kronk:
Unh!

- [Buzzing]

Kuzco:
Yep, that's Kronk

Now lately, Yzma's

gotten into this bad habit

of trying to run the country

behind my back,

and Im thinkin'

that's got to stop

It is no concern

of mine

whether your family

has...

What was it again?

Um, food.

Ha! You really should

have thought of that

before you

became peasants.

We're through here.

Take him away. Next!

But l--

Oh, ok.

Ugh.

Kuzco:
The nerve of some

of those peasants, huh?

Tell me about it.

Aah!

Hi there.

Ooh, Your Highness.

Ahem.

Oh, oh, oh,

ha ha ha. Um...

Uh, you were

doing it again.

Doing? Doing...

Doing what?

Doing my job.

I'm the emperor,

and you're the emperor's

advisor.

Remember that?

But, Your Highness,

I was only dealing with

meaningless peasant matters.

Kuzco:
Whoa

Look at these wrinkles

What is holding

this woman together?

What the--

How long

has that been there?

Kronk:

Good thinkin', Yzma

What do you say,

Kuzco?

Whoa! No touchy!

No touchy.

No touch.

Servant:
Excuse me,

Your Highness

The village leader

is here to see you.

Oh, great.

Send him in.

Oh, and by the way,

you're fired.

Fired?

W-W-What do you mean,

fired?

Um, how else

can I say it?

You're being let go,

your department's

being downsized,

you're part of

an outplacement,

we're going in a

different direction,

we're not picking

up your option...

Take your pick.

I got more.

But l-- You--uh--

Uhh.

But--

But, Your Highness,

I have been nothing

if not loyal to the empire

for--for--for

many, many years.

Hey, hey, everybody

hits their stride.

You just hit yours

50 years ago.

So...who's

in my chair?

Kronk:

Oh, oh! I know!

Yzma.

Yzma's in your

chair, right?

Very good, Kronk.

Here. Get the snack.

Got it!

Unh! Oof!.

Ok, you heard

the man.

Up, up, up.

Kronk:
Im ok

I'm fine

[Snarling]

Ah.

ok. Show him in.

Ahem.

Uh, afternoon,

Your Highness.

I'm here because

I received a summons--

Kuzco:
Hey,

there he is!

My main village man.

Um, Pacha.

Anyway, I got

this summons--

Pacha.

That's right.

You are just the man

I wanted to see.

I am?

Word on the street is

you can fix my problem.

You can fix my problem,

can't you?

Sure.

I'll do what I can.

Good, good. That's just

what I wanted to hear.

Are you aware of

just how important

your village is

to the empire?

Well, I know

we grow the crops

that you use here

at the palace.

We also herd the llamas

that you--

My village?

Oh, yeah.

You got a pretty sweet

little setup there

on top of that hill,

don't you? Ha ha ha!

Yeah. My family has

lived on that hilltop

for the last

6 generations.

Uh-huh.

So tell me,

where do you find

you get the most sun?

Oh, I'd say

just on the other side

of those trees.

When the sun hits

that ridge just right,

these hills sing.

Well, that settles it.

Really?

Yep. Problem solved.

Thanks for coming.

That's it?

That's all

you wanted me for?

I just needed

an insider's opinion

before I ok'd this spot

for my pool.

Rate this script:2.8 / 4 votes