The Evening Star

---

Rosie,

Start the car and put

the air conditioning

up to high, please,

I don't want to wilt,

All right, Aurora,

Arthur,

I kinda feel sorry

for Arthur's grass,

Why?

It never gets

a chance to grow,

Good morning, James,

Mrs, Greenway, you're looking

mighty pretty today,

Thank you, Billy,

hand this to the warden,

You know how he loves

your letters,

Don't be making

those prisoners write,

Teddy is almost finished

with the new porch,

I know it's extravagant,

but it's a way

to give your brother money

without it seeming like a handout,

You know how Jane is,

You have any message

for him?

What do you think?

I'll give your love

to Melanie,

She is head over heels

with this Bruce creature,

I'm hoping it's just

a teenage thing,

Rosie sends her love,

She's just found your old

G, I, Joe watch in the attic,

She's having it

repaired,

So you let

that be a surprise,

[Sniffling]

The sign said

don't mess with Texas!

Texas certainly has

messed with me,

[Pop]

Oh! What is it?

Why do you do this

to yourself, Granny?

Give up, huh?

Tommy's never

gonna change,

Teddy, you're never

gonna change,

Tommy has to change,

No human being can

carry that much hostility

his entire life,

Granny, it's his third

possessions charge,

Face it, Tommy's

a screw-up.

You're never gonna be

a screw-up, are you, Bump?

Shut up, butthole!

That's his new thing,

calling people butthole,

For she's a jolly

good butthole

For she's a jolly

good butthole

For she's a jolly

good butthole

'Cause nobody can deny

I sense Jane's child-rearing

philosophy here,

We've got

some good news,

What is it, another

illegitimate child?

Granny,

Jane's found a job,

At the Stop 'n Go,

Now that she's finally

embarked on a career,

perhaps the 2 of you

would consider marriage,

Of course not,

[Military Music Plays]

Oh, God!

Bruce alert!

Oh!

Oh, God!

Granny!

Shouldn't you be in

20th century literature?

Virginia Woolf

makes my skin crawl,

and Bruce wanted to go

for a ride,

so, you know,

I can see that,

That's not

really my car,

My friend Tony

just lets me drive it,

I don't care who owns

the pimp mobile,

I did not raise

my granddaughter

to have sex with

the likes of you,

Granny, get out

of my room!

Oh, God!

Bruce:
Ha ha ha!

Afternoon, General,

What's going on?

Life as we know it,

[Classical Music

Plays]

I love Bruce,

I hate you!

Why? Because I care

what happens to you?

No, It's because

you're suffocating me!

[Car Radio

Plays]

Well,,, ha,

Your, uh...

Your buddy Tony

has great taste

in cars,

Bruce,

start the car!

Hey, Mel,

you didn't tell me

you were riding around

in Ferraris,

Aah! Drive!

See you, Mel!

[Honks Horn]

Look, Granny,

I'll get you more,

The troops need

a morale boost,

You can love 'em,

but you can't

live their lives,

Neither can they,

Not properly,

The pain the children

claim to be in,,,

it's exhausting,

I can't do it,

I've had it, I can't go on,

Nonsense,

Of course you can,

Life is just

an uphill battle,

You gotta keep on

fighting,

You must figure out why

you lose the battles you lose

and pray like hell

you win the war,

Rosie,

what time is it?

3:
30,

I'm going to bed,

This day is over,

This is not good,

This is not good,

Hey,

Jimmie Lee,

Hey, girl,

She here?

Yes, she's cleaning

out that closet,

Just come on in,

I'm worried

about her, Patsy,

She went to bed

yesterday at 3:
30,

She hasn't

gotten up yet,

She's probably headed

for the big snap,

Long overdue,

Give these to Mel,

would you?

She's been crying

a lot,

It's her guilt,

Manifesting itself

finally,

You know she's gotta

be feeling responsibility

for all the problems

those kids are having...

problems they never

woulda had

if I'da raised 'em,,,

like Emma wanted,

Well,,,

you didn't,

Aurora did,

Now we're stuck with

the consequences,

Not like you did such

a great job with your own kids,

You don't even know

where they are

half the time,

I get the credit card

bills,

I can track 'em down

if I have to,

Oh, I just wanna

do something

about Aurora's moods,

When she's pissed off,

we all drown,

- Cheers,

- Cheers,

She needs

professional help,

Always has,

Therapy?

Well, why not?

12 years of therapy

made me the woman

I am today,

[Clicks Tongue]

O, K,

How are we gonna get Aurora

Greenway to see a shrink?

Eew, you got me,

"Depressed?

Bummed?"

Cute,

[Sighs]

Ohh,,,

I don't know,

I feel

so depressed,,,

bummed,

I know I'm surrounded

by people who love me,

but I just can't

seem to snap out of it,

Even here

at the beach?

You love it here,

I know, I know,

Well, what can I do

to help?

I think I need to

see a therapist,

Good! Good for you,

Huh?

I think that's good,

You,,, confront

your demons,

wrestle with 'em,

I'm gonna make

an appointment,

Excellent,

Would you go

with me?

Sure, Of course,

Rosie, this can't be it,

Yep,

Where?

3106,

This house?

Well, there's his sign, too,

That's it,

Rosie, this does not

feel professional,

Where did you

find this man?

He came highly

recommended,

I wish you would

come in with me,

Please?

I think I'd better,

Oh, dear,

Man singing:

There beyond the sea

Somewhere waiting

for me

[Singing]

Somewhere,,,

I'll be waiting for you

in the car, Rosie,

You have to stay!

I don't have

to stay,

Oh!

You don't need me

to spew out the grim little

details of your childhood,

The appointment's not for me,

It's for you,

I lied,

EXcuse me?

You're the one who's been

so depressed lately,

Rosie, I don't need

therapy,

Why, the very idea!

Now I suggest that

you go back in there

and you keep

your appointment,

Aurora!

[Singing]

[Ding Dong]

Be right there!

Mrs, Greenway?

Yes,

Jerry Bruckner,

God, I am running

so late today,

I'm sorry,

Please come on in,

- Oh, sorry,

- No, I apologize,

Forgive me,

We have been

the victims of, uh,,,

a very elaborate

ruse.

Oh,

Yes, my maid tricked me

into coming here,

Oh,

I,,, Dr, Bruckner,

I wasn't seeking analysis,

and I'm not now,

I'm not a doctor,

I'm a licensed counselor,

What does that mean,

Mr, Bruckner?

I listen, I try

to make people feel better,

Well,,,

sorry for

the misunderstanding,

Obviously my maid

is the one who is disturbed,

I'm surrounded by the most

taxing array of lunatics,

Me, too,

It's the job,

Well, good-bye,

And I'm clearly not

the sort of woman

who would,,,

be free in sharing

and revealing her secrets,

You understand?

Well, many people

feel that way,

It was a pleasure

meeting you,

Do you have a card?

Certainly,

Thank you,

Good-bye,

Mrs, Greenway,

And I'm awfully

sorry.

[Laughs]

Forget it,

We'll meet, we'll meet,

we'll meet

Beyond the shore

We'll kiss,,,

You are

so f***ing fired,

Yeah,,, right,

Class, the quality

of your exams

surprised even me,

Some of you are even

beginning to grasp

early 20th

century literature,

[Bell Rings]

That's it,

Class dismissed,

Professor?

Professor!

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