The Family Stone

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This is Meredith.

This isn't a popularity contest.

I don't care if it's the Friday before Christmas.

She'll have Monday off.

Look, the bottom line is there's no way I'm

letting that report go without having seen it.

All right, get Rebecca to reach Ken.

He should be on the ground by now.

You tell him, forward his file...

She's gonna have to change her reservation.

Hold on, I've got another call. Don't leave.

This is Meredith. Terrific.

All right, I'm gonna call you back.

I said... Don't leave.

No, no, no. I said I'd call you back.

- Thank you.

- Combine the files, I'll look over...

Everett, Everett.

Is that for Amy? The red one.

I'll look them over,

but tell her to tell the printers to...

No, no. You know, forget it.

Wait. I'm gonna call you back.

- The red one, please.

- Red?

Yeah, that's perfect.

Merry Christmas.

Mom.

Merry Christmas.

Boys.

Boys? Patrick.

We hit traffic.

You look so good.

Wait, Patrick, I found another recipe

on the gourmet site this morning.

Well, it better not be for onions. I emailed you

my mother's recipe this morning.

- Mom, where's Everett?

- He promised me they'd be here by dinner.

Did you hear from Ben?

We didn't know when his flight was in.

Well, of course.

He missed both morning flights.

Honey, we're in here.

Millie's famous brownies.

So sweet of her.

- Thaddeus.

- Dad.

- Patrick.

- Hey.

Merry Christmas.

Sorry.

- You don't have to be nervous.

- I'm not.

They'll love you.

- I hate her.

- Amy.

- What?

- Generosity. Generosity of spirit.

- Thank you.

- You're gonna get me in trouble.

- I thought no one had met the girl.

- No. I was in New York in October...

That's right, that young man.

What was his name? How's that going?

- Kelly.

- Sorry.

- So, you had dinner with them.

- So, she is a total phony.

She's completely uptight.

She dragged us to this stiff restaurant,

she talked the entire time. I mean...

- You just wait.

- What?

She's got this incredibly grotesque

throat-clearing tic. It's like...

- It's like she's digging for clams.

- Make way for ducklings.

- Susannah, honey.

- Susannah.

- Hi, sweetie.

- Grandma.

Look at this.

Hi. Long trip. I gotta pee.

God, you're huge.

- Granddaughter.

- Grandpa.

Hi, sweetheart. How are you?

- Is Everett here yet?

- Amy was just telling us all about Meredith.

She's a throat-clearer.

- Sybil, why do you encourage her?

- Well, Amy never likes anyone.

Patrick.

I love you.

That took years.

So, you got her on the phone once, right?

- A little curt.

- She didn't do that throat thing?

What are you talking about?

I have to pee. When's Ben getting here?

They're here.

Ready?

- They're all watching, you know.

- They?

Kelly'll be out in a minute

and he'll bring us in.

- Everett.

- Dad.

Hi.

I told you. Did I tell you?

Yeah.

Hello.

Hi.

How are you?

Thad. Meredith. Meredith, this is Thad.

Oh, yes. Thaddeus.

Hello. I'm Meredith.

I've heard so much about you.

- And this is Patrick.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Why is she shouting?

- You remember Amy, right?

Amy. Yes. Merry Christmas.

- You remember me, right? The mother.

- That's right.

And this is Sybil. Mom, this is Meredith.

Hello. You have a lovely home.

All the better to entertain you, my dear.

Well, welcome.

- Merry Christmas. Welcome to our home.

- Mom, don't overdo it.

- What am I overdoing?

- Hi.

Welcome. I'm Susannah, and this is Elizabeth.

You have nice shoes.

Thank you.

- All right. Let me get a picture, please.

- Picture time.

Family photo.

- Just move in.

- Stand in front of your mother.

Patrick, move in close.

- OK, wait.

- Amy, come on, get in there. Here we go.

Where's Ben?

Move closer. Everett.

Why are you making such a big deal?

Can it really matter?

Yes. I think it matters, and I am not sleeping

with you in your bed in your parents' house.

- Sybil put us in here together.

- And I said I don't think it's right.

What you're saying is you just don't screw?

- Nice, Mom. That's nice.

- Is that it?

I know how fun this could be for you,

but really...

- But separate bedrooms? It's so silly.

- She just doesn't feel comfortable.

Well, why should she be comfortable?

Putting Amy out of her room and all.

What?

- I hope I'm not putting anyone out.

- Me out. You're putting me out.

Why aren't you sleeping in Everett's room?

He's your friend. Did you have a fight?

- Of course not.

- Can I try your shoes?

I'm so sorry.

There must be someplace else I...

This is Meredith. Hold on.

It's my sister.

Yes. Well, we'll just be downstairs.

Give you your privacy.

Come on, honey. Elizabeth, let's go. Careful.

Amy.

Let's go. Careful now.

They hate me.

Yes, I'm being myself.

- Can I come in?

- You don't need an invitation, Meredith.

- Don't be mad.

- I'm not mad.

But don't be thinking

you'll be getting any now.

Why would you keep those in here?

Don't you?

That's...

That's from a long time ago.

This isn't easy for me, meeting everyone.

I know it's not.

Look at them.

Just look at them.

- Ben? My God.

- Amy.

- Wait until you meet her.

- Meet who? Come here.

- Meredith.

- No smoking pot in the house.

No pot in the house. I mean it this time.

Merry Christmas, Mom.

And Christmas is not clothing optional

this year. We've got company.

- Got you.

- OK.

- Who's this? Have you been working out?

- Hey, Ben.

Everett. Wow, Everett in a tie. Look at this.

- I'm running for mayor.

- You look gorgeous.

That's true. I want you to meet Meredith.

Hi.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Hi. Hi.

- What is going on with him?

- All hail. The prodigal son returns.

Hey, Mama. I found your laundry here.

A big sack of filthy Christmas laundry,

just for you.

Hey.

- Where's your husband?

- What husband?

That husband. He'll be here on Christmas.

Queen bee, how are you doing?

- So, where's Dad?

- He ran away. Joined the circus.

- A better circus.

- Yeah, less clowns.

Sorry. We might have some glue.

No, it's OK.

I think I have another pair for that outfit.

It's a good color.

Excuse me.

You need a hand with that?

Now, don't dilly-dally there, pretty lady.

We're all gonna be down here

talking about you.

Do you remember Miss Lewin?

Remember her?

- Second grade?

- Yeah.

- Wait, the one without the lips?

- Exactly. Man, I was so into her.

- You are a freak.

- Yeah.

- She's sweet, right. Incredible.

- Thank you, sir.

- I mean, doesn't she seem incredible?

- Yeah, it appears that she is incredible.

So, Everett, where'd you find her?

Hong Kong, last spring.

Well, actually, over on Kowloon side,

not Hong Kong Island.

Although we were both staying there -

on Hong Kong Island -

Everett at the Grand Hyatt,

I was at the Mandarin.

But we were introduced

in the lobby of the Peninsula.

That's on Kowloon side.

I was there for

this post-postunification conference,

and I had a meeting over at the Peninsula,

and there I am, crossing the lobby,

and who do I see but Rachel Graham?

- Who?

- What were you wearing?

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