The Favor

Mommy?

Do dead people swallow?

Well?

Do they?

No.

Then what do they do

with the water in their mouth?

They stop getting water

in their mouths.

Why?

Don't wake Daddy.

Daddy's awake.

It's Saturday, honey.

Go back to sleep.

Daddy, they don't let you

be a pilot if you wear glasses!

Hannah!

Ollie, off!

Come on.

Off the bed, Ollie. Off!

I've been playing handball

with quadratic equations all night.

Yeah?

Who won?

I better get this

article finished...

...or I am never going to

get a good night's sleep.

I'm working at school today.

No, you've got the kids till 2:00.

I've my museum class, then I drop

off the payroll at Al's doughnut hole.

I want cinnamon...

No, sugar!

- White ones!

- No doughnuts for you little porkers.

Oink!

Oink!

Honey, make my cruller

with white icing.

Two minutes.

It's not fair!

Is this fair?

- Yes!

- Yes!

- What do you want for breakfast?

- I'm dead.

That's easy.

Look carefully at the way Rubens

uses pinks and whites in his women.

They have the alabaster

cast of a statue...

...with just enough

rosy shades...

...to make them eminently

approachable.

All I know is,

they make me feel thin.

And of course,

the famous red hair.

Most art historians believe this

was the color of his mistress' hair.

Emily, are we listing lovers

or acquaintances?

You're done?

I've been married for 10 years.

What do you want from me?

- Didn't you go to college?

- Yeah, but...

"One-night stand,

handsome, great in bed. "

And you regretted it?

Him. He asked me

to bring a friend next time.

And you can't

remember his name?

Listen, when you've had over...

the names get a little fuzzy.

God!

"Jean-Claude. "

Is this the guy in Saint Martin?

Yeah. You spent the weekend

in the Caribbean...

...and didn't I go to Marineland?

You came home with a plastic shark.

I came home with crabs.

Now, if you ladies will follow me.

This French sculpture

is from the 20th century...

...and by Edmond Louise Colette.

This sculpture epitomizes

the art movement...

...from Art Nouveau to Art Deco.

Who was the best, and why?

- There's an emphasis on simple lines...

- Howard.

Because he just adored sex

and couldn't get enough?

Because we were in love.

- I've done that.

- Listen to you.

It must be hell being

in a great marriage.

It is when you've been invited

to your 15th high school reunion...

...and it kicks off wild sexual fantasies

about your first love.

- Old numero uno, Robert?

- No!

Tommy and I never did it.

We did everything but for two years.

What?

You're from the coast.

In Ohio, you don't do it. I was saving it.

- For who? Robert Hornswath?

- Evidently.

So, are you going?

I don't know.

I haven't seen him in 15 years.

He lives in Denver now.

He probably wouldn't even be there.

Can you recover from a face-lift

in five months?

Are you going to worry about this

or have fun with it?

You'll have fun.

I know I'm never going to

hear the end of it now.

Emily, what is the

matter with me?

Every day, I fantasize about

jumping on a plane to Denver...

...finding Tommy,

and screwing him silly!

Pardon me.

So what do you think of this?

God, that's disgusting, Mom.

Peter?

What do you think of this one?

That's more Emily.

You know, bookkeepers can be chic.

Peter?

Yeah, she's not wearing a bra.

- Can I see that, please?

- No.

Bedtime.

That's it.

- Tomorrow's my birthday!

- I know it's your birthday.

Your Daddy and I have

a lot of getting ready to do.

- I don't want to go to bed.

- You never want to go to bed.

Good night, Daddy!

Good night, sweetie.

I'll be up in a minute.

- Brush your teeth.

- Okay.

You dropped those.

I know that tune.

Can we do it without kissing?

Sure. Yeah.

Come here.

Can we do it without moving?

I'm exhausted.

Good. Me, too.

I thought you wanted to.

Not me.

How about you?

- We can do it tomorrow.

- Yeah.

Nope.

After Gina's party,

I doubt it.

Monday.

Department meeting.

Goes late.

Tuesday.

Yeah, let's shoot for Tuesday.

That was nice.

It's always nice.

Lipstick. Yeah.

Where are you going?

To do my taxes

and learn Spanish.

- I need to sleep, Elliott.

- You can sleep here, you know.

No, I can't.

You're always drawing me.

You waste a lot

of time sleeping.

I like sleeping.

It makes the years go by faster.

That's a lousy attitude

for a woman barely past 30...

...everything ahead of her.

35 more years of finding

the perfect piece of culture...

...for over Mrs. Konzulman's sectional,

unmarred by love or family.

Leave me if you must...

...but if you're checking out

that Denver gallery on Friday...

...I'd like to see you

tomorrow sometime.

Can't tomorrow.

Tomorrow's my goddaughter's

birthday party.

I like birthday parties.

No.

You're not invited.

Are you saying

you're ashamed of me?

Everyone there is bringing their children.

I'll be dating one.

Yes.

I'm 26.

I don't know why you're pressing this.

You'll just get bored.

With Pin the Tail on the Donkey?

No way.

- All right. Come.

- I will. Thank you.

Elliott!

I can't believe you

used my lipstick.

This is going to cost me $100.

$100 for a lipstick?

- No, a trip to the cosmetic counter.

- Right.

Is everybody having fun?

He's cute.

- Where's my hat?

- Right there!

- Have you seen my hat?

- Right there!

I'm going to get

another apple juice.

He's got a special

birthday hat for you!

There you go!

And he's got something for you!

Hannah, when is your birthday?

Three more months.

Three months?

I can't wait that long.

Me, too.

I cannot wait to give you your

present for three months.

You can write anything you want in there:

your secrets, your dreams...

...and only you can read them.

It's wonderful!

Mom!

Mr. Lucky's got one for you!

There you go!

And Mr. Lucky's

got one for you!

There you go!

Who else wants one?

- How's it going, Chef?

- Crazy.

Interesting bunch over there.

Yeah. That's part of

a parenting group.

Personally,

I'd rather belong to a satanic cult.

Probably be easier

on the kids, yes.

- Boy, they really like these suckers raw.

- So how old is...

Hi.

How are you?

Great party.

Thanks, Elliott.

I particularly liked the part

where Mr. Lucky couldn't find his hat.

I never get tired of that.

Can you make purple?

- Purple?

- Milk.

Do you want magenta purple

or fuchsia purple?

Emily said you were good.

What else does our friend say?

That you're a great dancer.

I'll settle for that.

- So how old is...

- Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

I forgot to put up the donkey.

Can you believe it?

Peter!

Didn't I just see him?

You know what?

We really have to be going.

- But aren't you going to

stay for cake? - Cake?

I'm sorry.

Jeez!

- Thank you.

- You're going?

You don't want any cake?

Thank you.

- Purple! - If you're going

to have a hot fling...

...you might as well have it

with someone who looks like that.

Donkey.

You wanted to meet my friends.

I guess they don't hold your attention.

They seem like very nice people.

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