The Fisher King

SOUND EFFECTS - LOUD BATTLE NOISE...

...BUT SUDDENLY YOU REALIZE IT'S

MONDAY!

A WOMAN SCREAMS...the D.J., JACK, speaks in a rapid fire pace...

A HAND from O.C. tries to shut the alarm off in the dark.

...your hand races to shut off

the alarm before your mind wakes

up...

SCREAMS...THE HAND knocks over a water glass and grabs the clock

but can't find the OFF switch.

...But it's too late! If you

don't get out of bed now, you'll

never have enough time to blow

dry your hair THAT SPECIAL WAY...

You'll never make that nine

o'clock meeting that your PARTNER

WILL BE EARLY FOR... YOU'LL BE

LATE AND EVERYONE WILL NOTICE!

The HAND bangs the clock violently...

...Rumors will fly about you

losing your edge and before you

know it, you're selling yourself

on street corners to lonely

middle-aged men from the

Midwest... Headlines flash across

your mind - SLEEPER GUNS D.J.

THEN SELF - CLAIMED "I only wanted

two more minutes!"

SCREAMS...SILENCE...The D.J. (Jack) speaks in a normal voice.

...Hey, it's Monday morning, and

I'm Jack Lucas.

THE HAND rips the clock off the night table.

OPENING CREDITS BEGIN........

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING.

A MAN in a shower listening to the radio...

WOMAN (V.O.)

(upset)

...I don't have to talk to you.

JACK (V.O.)

Yes...Yes, you do because you see,

today, you're our -

PRE-RECORDED ECHOING V.O.

SPOTLIGHT CELEBRITY.

WOMAN (V.O.)

No, it's none of your business

- it's MY business - and I'm very

private about what is my business.

JACK (V.O.)

OH, PLEASE! You had sex with

the Prime Minister of Belize in

the parking lot of Sea World...

You're telling me you're a private

kind of person. No...You're our...

PRE-RECORDED ECHOING V.O.

SPOTLIGHT CELEBRITY....

WOMAN (V.O.)

Listen, I have been humiliated

enough already!

JACK (V.O.)

Perhaps not - We need those

details....

The Woman hangs up...

CREW (V.O.)

Oooooooo....

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - MORNING.

A NAKED MAN shaves as he listens to the radio.

JACK (V.O.)

I'm peeved! I'm calling Belize!

(telephone sounds)

...I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE PRIME

MINISTER, PRONTO!

VOICE (V.O.)

Yes...Belize Central Office.

JACK (V.O.)

Yes...yes, hello...Hello, this

is Jack Lucas of the United States

and I want to speak to the Prime

Minister of Belize, PRONTO!...

VOICE ON PHONE (V.O.)

He's not in.

JACK (V.O.)

What you mean he's not in - you

mean nobody's running the country!

You mean I could just walk in

there right now and take you up

for a COUP before lunch.

VARIOUS CREW MEMBERS (V.O.)

SURE! LET'S DO IT! LET'S CALL

FRANCE!

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN - 7:45 AM.

A WOMAN in a bathrobe fixes herself coffee as the radio plays.

JACK (V.O.)

Hi, this is Jack Lucas and we're

discussing PERSONAL PET PEEVES...

Go ahead, caller...

CALLER (V.O.)

O.K. Well, It's my husband. He

drives me crazy. I'll be talking

and he'll never let me finish a

sentence...He's always finishing

my...

JACK (V.O.)

(overlapping)

Finishing your thoughts...that's

awful.

CALLER (V.O.)

Oh, that "drives me...."

JACK (V.O.)

Drives you crazy, huh? The

scoundrel!

INT. KITCHEN - 9:15 AM.

A MAN reads the newspaper and sips coffee, as the radio plays.

CALLER (V.O.)

Hello Jack. It's Edwin.

JACK AND CREW (V.O.)

IT'S EDWIN!!!!

New Years Eve sound effects.

JACK (V.O.)

Edwin. We haven't heard from you

in a while. I've missed you.

EDWIN (V.O.)

(laughing

good-naturedly)

O.K....O.K...

JACK AND CREW (V.O.)

Awwww .......!!!!!

SOUND EFFECTS - "A SUMMER PLACE"...THE NEEDLE IS SCRATCHED OFF.

EDWIN laughs, perhaps a bit over zealously - HE is a

SIMPLE-MINDED SOUL...a lonely child in the body of a lonely man.

JACK (V.O.)

So, Edwin, baby, this is Sunrise

Confession time...what have you got

for us?

EDWIN (V.O.)

I...I...went to this bar..this

very, ya know, IN place...called

The Side Bar.

JACK (V.O.)

I know the place. It's one of

those YUPPIE gathering holes.

I told you to stay away from them,

Edwin. Yuppies are diseased

individuals who went to private

schools and took scouting

serious.

EDWIN (V.O.)

(simple-minded laughter)

Okay...I know but...I met this

beautiful girl...

SOUND EFFECT - "WEDDING BELLS" THEN A NEEDLE SCRATCHING IT OFF.

JACK (V.O.)

Now, Edwin, I'm going to have to

remind you of the time we made

you propose to that check-out girl

at Thrifty's that you liked so

much. Remember her reaction?

BLACK SEVENTIES GROUP (V.O.)

"MISTER BIG STUFF...HUH...TELL

ME ...WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...

MISTER BIG STUFF...YOU'RE NEVER

GOING TO GET MY LOVE..."

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