The Gauntlet

- You look awful!

- I had a late-night poker game.

You should have at least shaved.

This new Police Commissioner Blakelock

is very spit-and-polish.

F*** him.

But, Jesus God, Ben!

You got to watch the way you look.

You can't walk in on these

bigwigs without shaving.

You just can't do that.

You should've put on a tie.

You should've shined your shoes.

You should've made an effort

to spruce up a little bit.

Mr. Feyderspiel.

Shockley. How are you?

Fine, sir.

How's our Assistant D.A. These days?

Sh*t! He couldn't convict Hitler.

Don't use any profanity.

And remember to say "sir" to him.

When he speaks to you, say "sir."

Then stand up straight.

And for God's sakes,

don't breathe on him.

Here.

Wait a minute, guy! Come on!

Open your mouth.

I wish I had time to shave you.

Nag, nag, nag!

E.A. Blakelock.

Ben Shockley, sir.

I've heard about you, Shockley.

As Commissioner of the

police department...

...considerable responsibility.

Watchdog of the department,

so to speak.

Policing the police.

So that the need for

absolute secrecy is...

I understand.

Plane tickets.

Extradite and subpoena.

You're flying to Las Vegas,

coming back with...

...a prisoner for us...

...whom you will remand

to custody at County.

And then you report, you know,

back here.

Respectfully, sir,

I work for Metro squad. Why me?

Your division commander says

you're a man who gets the job done.

Is there anything special

I should know about this case?

What it is, is this:

It's a nothing witness

for a nothing trial.

That'll be all.

You represent the Phoenix P.D.

Get a shave.

Yes, sir.

15 years on the bricks together,

look what happens to us.

I land a lousy desk job.

You get a freebie to Vegas.

Big deal. A two-bit witness

for a two-bit trial.

- Anybody I know?

- Name's Gus Mally. Heard of him?

No. What's the charge?

He wouldn't say.

I'm just going there...

Hi, Shirley.

And coming back. You won't

even have time to get laid.

You won't have time.

Helen'd kill me.

Listen, are you still

getting serviced by Shirley?

Why not? You've got a

very shapely lady there.

She was after me for my money.

The trip to Vegas is 2 hours.

Have dinner with us.

Not tonight. Say hello to Helen

and the kids, though.

And thanks for the escort.

I know how busy you execs are.

In your ear, Jim!

Congratulations on the promotion.

I don't know why they promoted me.

We're partners, for chrissake.

You deserved the promotion.

I hate paperwork, you know that.

If it wasn't for the family,

I'd tell them to shove it.

Why don't you quit bellyaching?

- You're off the bricks, aren't you?

- I like the bricks.

Relax and enjoy life.

You and me been through

some doors together.

We've had our times.

We've had our times.

Ever been to Las Vegas before?

A lot of tourists in town.

It's always this way, the Strip,

choked with traffic all the time.

You can't drive. You can't go fast.

30 miles an hour all the way.

The old days...

Buddy, drop the tourist crap,

will you?

What do you mean my man isn't here?

You heard what I said, bud.

I've got papers for one Gus Mally.

The address is this building.

You better check again.

I've got all kinds of fellas in here.

I got a Smith.

I got a Gonzales.

I got a McNaughton.

Take your pick.

But I don't have a fella

named Gus Mally.

He was to have been picked up

yesterday, held for extradition.

Somebody screwed up.

Wait a minute now!

When you get back to

Phoenix empty-handed...

...all I said was...

...I ain't got no guy named Gus Mally.

Augustina Mally I got

over in women's detention.

A**hole.

She's been spitting up since morning.

I don't know.

She might have a fever or something.

We called the prison doctor,

but he hasn't shown up yet.

Hit the deck, Mally.

Has she eaten?

Just a cup of coffee this morning.

Looks like she put

cigarette ashes in the coffee.

Old army trick.

She wanted to look sick.

Let me go!

They're going to kill me!

I want a f***ing lawyer!

Terrific!

My life on the line and they

send me an on-the-ropes bum!

What kind of record?

Hooker.

We've got a problem, you and me.

We don't like each other,

but we're taking a trip together.

You can come along peacefully

or be a pain in the ass.

But I warn you, mess around

and I'll put cuffs on.

Talk dirty, I gag you.

If you run, I'll shoot you.

My name is Shockley.

We've got a plane to catch.

They're still cutting her papers.

Swell.

Can you ask them to hurry it up, please?

You...

...think about what I said.

You're a dead man, Shockley.

They'll kill me.

And if you're with me,

they'll kill you.

Who's "they"?

I don't know.

Why are they going to kill you?

I don't know.

Pack your lipstick.

Damn it, it's the truth!

They've even got a line on it.

On us!

They got a betting line on

everything in this town.

Ponies, football, the fights.

Nobody cares about a dumb-ass cop

and a two-bit hooker on Airwest.

Shockley, listen to me.

It's 50-to-1 we don't make it.

Ask any bookie.

Don't drown in the sink.

You big prick!

That's a hooker?

The kick now is the schoolgirl look.

She's on the high side.

Finds it hard to maintain

those hundred-dollar tricks.

On a scale of 10, I'd give her a 2.

And that's only because

I've never seen a 1 before.

Okay, sir. Here you are,

just what you ordered.

How about another one?

This is fine.

- You sure?

- I've got a plane to catch.

Holy gee!

No way you'd get me on a plane.

Not after the airline pilots

I've dated.

I wouldn't let those

a**holes drive my car.

Really?

Just last week

I was reading this article.

It talked about flying.

Said we'd all become just like cattle.

Trusting our lives

to people we don't even know.

Like pilots.

Said we do it all the time.

Then we get our heads bashed in...

...like cattle,

for being so trusting.

Did you ever think about that?

Like those pilots I dated.

They're so snockered

they don't know what button to push.

One minute you're flying

30,000 feet in the air...

...next you are splattered

all over the ground...

...somebody's dachshund

nipping at your pancreas.

Flying really sucks,

you know what I mean?

How much on what, sport?

Mally No Show.

What's the score on her?

50-to-1.

I can read.

I mean, how does she run?

I don't know sh*t from horses.

I just put up the names.

She started out at 20-to-1.

The smart money must figure

she ain't got a chance.

You want to bet or not?

Maybe later.

Ed's Pony Book.

You got a horse in the 10th race

called Mally No Show.

- Got a line on her?

- Hang on.

We've got her, 70-to- 1.

70? It was 60-to-1

10 minutes ago.

So aren't you glad you waited?

But the odds are bound to go down.

No filly can be that bad.

You found out I was right, didn't you?

I didn't find out dick.

But a horse named Mally No Show's

in the 10th race at Santa Anita.

Somebody's betting she'll

drop dead at the starting gate.

And this is the gate right here!

You see? They're saying

we haven't got a chance!

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