The Girl Can't Help It Page #2

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You don't like to be small potatoes.

You wanna come back, don't you?

I sure can't go back any further.

- Then we're in business, right?

- Right.

- What business?

- Show business.

I got a dame, see.

A nice, sweet, innocent dame.

I'm nuts about her,

but she's a nobody.

How can I marry a nobody?

You saw.

I was up there once.

That's where you come in.

You're gonna make her into a star.

Then the dame and me,

we got mutual interests.

We're, uh-

We're compatible, maybe even happy.

For openers, I pay all your bills.

So you got nothin' to worry about

except to concentrate...

on buildin' the dame

into a big canary.

Only remember, hands off,

like you got the rep for.

You'll take me out of hock?

Besides 10 g's now,

advance against your 10%...

besides a drawin' account for songs...

special materials, special arrangements,

et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

- It's a deal?

- It's a deal.

Signed, sealed, and now... delivered!

- Hey, Mousie!

- Yeah, boss?

Bring in my future star.

- Yeah, boss.

- Easy, Fats.

You know, you just can't take any girl

and make her a star.

You've done it before.

I can name half a dozen-

Not me, Fats.

The girls had talent.

The public made them stars.

I've met guys like you before.

They fall for some dame.

They think she's got something special.

But usually, she's got nothing.

I could lie to you, Fats,

let you take me off the hook...

take your 10 grand,

go through the motions with your girl.

I can't do it.

Call it integrity...

or some other dirty word,

but I can't do it.

The girl would take one look at me and know

I wasn't interested in handling her.

So if you don't mind,

I don't wanna embarrass her, Fats.

I'll beat it before she shows.

[Gasps]

Mr. Miller...

Miss JerriJordan.

I made up theJerriJordan myself.

It'll look good in lights.

- You like it?

- Very much.

Tommy boy, I'm puttin' her in your hands,

figuratively speaking.

You got six weeks

to have her a star.

You know, the first thing-

Six weeks?

Oh, easy, Fats.

It takes time.

- Rome wasn't built in a day.

- She ain't Rome.

What we're talkin' about

is already built.

- Right?

- No argument.

## [Singing]

Beat it, deadbeat.

- ##[Rock]

- Scotch.

Bottle of scotch.

##[Man Singing]

[Chuckles]

Hey.

- What'd you do, find uranium somewhere?

- ##[Continues]

Yep. In Rome, Nicky boy.

In Rome.

- Cigars? Cigarettes?

- Hmm.

Cigars? Cigarettes?

[Chuckles]

Why not?

We'll smoke 'em tomorrow, honey.

But tonight...

they're playing our song.

Get your mornin' papers!

Get your mornin' papers!

- Get your mornin' paper, ma'am?

- No, thanks, sonny.

Can you tell me

where I can find 341?

341?

Second brownstone, ma'am.

- Thanks, sonny.

- [Wolf Whistle]

#She can't help it

The girl can't help it #

#She can't help it

The girl can't help it #

#If she walks by

the menfolks get engrossed #

#She can't help it

The girl can't help it #

#If she winks an eye

the bread slice turn to toast #

#She can't help it

The girl can't help it #

# Yeah, she's got a lot

of what they call the most #

#She can't help it

The girl can't help it #

# The girl can't help it

She was born to please #

#She can't help it

The girl can't help it #

#And she's got

a figure made to squeeze #

#She can't help it

The girl can't help it #

- # Won't you kindly be aware

the girl can't help it #

- # The girl can't help it #

[Grunting]

[Sighs, Grunts]

Good morning, Mr. Miller.

What are you doing in here?

Why, what do you mean?

You want my funeral included

in Fats's newsreels?

- On your way.

- But Mr. Murdock sent me over.

- He sent you?

- So you can start working on me.

Honey, this is no place to start.

Oh, I've been in

men's bedrooms before.

I grew up with seven brothers

and a father.

Besides, you're half-dressed already.

- Don't come in here!

- I think you need this.

- What's in it?

- It'll make you feel better.

- Are you sure?

- I made them for my father.

He drank a lot

trying to forget my mother.

- Oh, I'm sorry about your mother. L-

- Sorry?

- Yes, I didn't know your m-

- Oh, she isn't.

That's why my father drank.

##[Jazz On Radio]

- How do you feel now, Mr. Miller?

- Fine.

- Bottle that recipe. You'll make a fortune.

- [Chuckles]

Hey, you oughtn't to be doing this,

cleaning my bedroom, cooking.

I'm domestic.

I hope you like egg souffle.

- Souffle?

- Mm-hmm.

It's not exactly a breakfast dish,

but it's eggs.

I figured you for strong coffee.

Good figuring.

Except after seeing you last night...

I wouldn't have figured you

as domestic.

It's one of my favorite pastimes.

- What is?

- Cooking.

- What are the others?

- Oh, keeping house.

You know, keeping everything neat.

- Yeah, I noticed that.

- Hmm?

Oh, I don't take care of his place.

I mean my own place.

You- Oh, no.

I mean my own place.

But I only get a chance to keep house

on the maid's day off.

How's your souffle?

[Chuckles]

Bottle it. You got another fortune.

I'm glad you like it, Mr. Miller.

I like it, but... I'm a little confused.

Who isn't?

You know, sometimes...

I think I'm mixed up.

Well, no, I mean, for instance...

if you like keeping house,

why a maid?

Mr. Murdock doesn't want me to work.

He says I have to be a career.

Have to be?

Most pretty girls want careers.

"Pretty." You should see me

in the morning without makeup.

I'll show you sometime.

Pretty is just how good

you apply your base.

You don't want a career?

I just wanna be a wife...

have kids.

But everyone figures me for a sexpot.

No one thinks

I'm equipped for motherhood.

## [Singing]

- Mr. Miller?

- Yes?

I know you know what you're doing...

but why must I keep

my stole on in here?

That's the first step in your buildup.

- You're building me up?

- I'll explain later.

- ## [Ends]

- [Applause]

A buildup depends

on the agent's strategy.

If I were to go

to the owner of this spot...

and tell him I have

a sensational performer...

he has to figure

I'm ax-grinding for my own 10%.

But if I don't try to sell him...

he sees her, he flips,

and he comes to me to check on her.

I don't see anybody

flipping or checking.

You will. Take your stole off

and go to the powder room.

Powder room?

Just visit a while.

But on the way there and back,

walk by the reservation desk.

That's where the owner hangs out.

On your way.

Seems awfully silly, Mr. Miller.

##[Rock]

- Operation Powder Room in operation.

- Yes, sir!

It still seems silly, Mr. Miller.

I gave the powder room lady

a quarter. What for?

Jerri, listen, don't say anything

except "Ask my agent."

"Ask my agent"?

No matter what anyone says,

you say, "Ask my agent."

Hi, Tom.

Haven't seen you around much lately.

- How's Julie London?

- Hiya, Lucas. Like your show.

I hope madame shares your opinion.

- Ask my agent.

- Agent?

Oh, so the beautiful lady's

a performer, eh?

- Ask my agent.

- What do you do?

Sing? Dance?

- Ask my agent.

- Oh.! [Laughs]

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