The Girl Can't Help It Page #6

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Who wrote it?

Uh, name's Murdock.

He's got a cell full of'em.

Ah, he has the feel

of what people want today.

- Is he your client too?

- No. He handles himself.

He's Fats Murdock,

if your memory isn't vague.

My memory's anything but vague,

Mr. Miller.

Uh, do you happen to refer to, uh,

Marty "Fats" Murdock?

Yes. The slot machine king

of the old days.

Uh-huh.

[Woman On Intercom]

Yes, Mr. Wheeler?

Uh, send Lawrence

and Eugene in, please.

Would you like dinner, sir?

Georgia, please. I'm not that sick.

I don't have to be in bed.

Drink your hot bouillon. You haven't eaten.

It'll give you strength.

When I think of them

throwing you out that d-

- Aha!

- Oh, go away, Mr. Murdock. Mr. Miller's sick.

Sick, huh? He's gonna be a lot sicker when

I get through with him. On your feet, Miller.

Fats, listen.

It isn't what you think.

- I just happened to drop in.

- Just dropped in, huh?

Casual-like, huh?

- With a pair of pajamas under your arm?

- Leave him alone, Mr. Murdock!

Shut up!

And take that apron off!

- I needed it to heat the bouillon.

- Shut up!

Don't you hit him,

and don't tear my pajamas.

- Your pajamas?

- Well, do I look like I wear stripe pajamas?

[Shouts]

Your pajamas?

So you got pajamas ready just in case

you get some late callers, huh?

So you got pajamas ready just in case

you get some late callers, huh?

I do not! You have a big,

fat, dirty mind, Mr. Murdock!

- Oh, I have, huh?

- Dirty mind, dirty mind, dirty mind!

Those pajamas are Christmas shopping

for my brothers.

- He's wearing Gregory's.

- Don't give me that!

- I'll give you that. I'll show, Mr. Murdock.

- Let me go, Mousie.

Leave them alone. I've never seen her

mad before. Maybe she'll kill him.

For brother George.

And this...

- for brother Gilbert!

- Okay!

- L- I believe you.!

- For brother Gridley.

Okay.!

- For brother Galen.

- Okay!

- And for brother Ambrose!

- Okay!

And this, for my father.

- Now, you satisfied, Mr. Murdock?

- Okay!

Okay on the pajamas.

But that don't explain him in your bed...

no matter whose pajamas

he's in there with!

Okay, Mousie.

Let me at him. Listen, you.

Now, I was just giving him bouillon,

you dumb dummy!

Don't dumb, dumb dummy me!

Oh, you leave him alone!

I was just giving him bouillon.

Don't you know what bouillon is?

[Screams]

That's it, Fats.

Wheeler flipped over the arrangement.

He loved Jerri's singing,

predicted she'd be a star right off.

But when I told him

you'd written the song...

he introduced me to...

Lawrence and Eugene.

Lawrence and Eugene?

That's Larry the Fink and Edgewater Eugene.

So Legs Wheeler still makes

with the fancy words, huh?

Fancy words,

but with the old-time action.

Legs never got over that I moved him

out of the top spot in the old days.

See, he had all the slots in all the joints.

I threw his slots out and moved my slots in.

- Hey. Does he still walk with a limp?

- I didn't have time to notice.

I winged him in the shinbone once.

[Laughs]

He was on crutches for months.

Well, he's off crutches now.

Fats, we're dead.

He controls the jukebox business,

and that's that.

You give up too easy, Miller.

Didn't you just hear me tell you that

he used to control the slots until I took over?

I did it before,

and I can do it again.

Now you went and put my father's

nightshirt on backwards, Mr. Murdock.

Don't bother me, will ya?

I'm thinkin'.

Well, just don't stretch it out of shape.

My father's not as fat as you.

Clam up, will ya?

I'm thinkin'!

Don't you yell at me anymore,

Mr. Murdock.

Okay. Okay.

So Legs Wheeler won't put

Jerri's record on, huh?

No wonder. I stink.

All right, Mousie!

We go!

- Where to, boss?

- To war! A cold hot war.

Order your wedding dress, baby.

It won't be long now.

Come on!

- Hey, boss.

- Yeah.

- You forgot your hat.

- Come on!

## [Jazz On Jukebox]

What'll you have, gentlemen?

Where you gettin' your music from?

Oh, that's a Wheeler Enterprises

jukebox, mister.

[Together]

Oh, yeah?

I take from Wheeler.

Who?

- Whom?

- I take from Murdock.

[Murdock Cackling]

[Laughing]

Oh, yeah?

[Murdock Shouts]

Oh, yeah?

- # Blow #

- [Jerri Screeches]

## [Ballad On Speaker]

- ## [Stops]

- [Loud Crash]

#When I hear the siren blow #

[Jerri Screeches]

- #I get those blues ##

- [Sobbing]

Well, boss, I gotta hand it to you.

You still got the old moxie.

Keep us out of

the record business, will he?

You did it.

You made a star

like you said you would.

Yeah.

Yeah, I made a star.

Well, that's what you wanted,

wasn't it?

Yeah, that's what I wanted.

- Now you got a somebody to marry.

- Clam up, will ya, Mousie?

- What are you gettin' sore?

- "What are you gettin' sore?"

What are you gettin' sore?

What do you suppose I'm gettin' sore?

I like music. How do you suppose I'd be,

married to a dame...

with a stinkin' voice like that?

How many jukeboxes

did Mr. Murdock remove?

Oh, most of them around New York.

And now he's making inroads

into Boston, Philadelphia, Baltimore.

- Pittsburgh, Altoona.

- And that's far enough.

You proceed with our legal case.

I'll take care of the inroads.

I believe I know where

I can find Mr. Murdock tonight.

- ##[R& B]

- [Man Singing]

[Cheering]

You got everything, boss?

Wedding ring, license, tickets?

Yeah. I got everything.

Have you, boss?

Why don't you give your honeymoon tickets

to Miller, boss?

You want to know somethin'?

I loused you up

with that tape recorder.

- You what?

- Yep.

Honest, Mousie.

Did ya? Did ya?

Don't kid me now.

They soft-talked, boss,

just like you figured.

I figured right, huh?

They go for each other, don't they?

Oh, and in a big way, boss.

It's the real thing.

And now in person,

the Platters with their big hit...

- "You'll Never Never Know."

- [Knocks]

- Who is it?

- Tom Miller, former agent.

- Come in.

- [Audience Cheering]

Just came to say good-bye.

I guess I should have

brought a wedding present.

You did.

That's no way for a bride to act.

I thought brides acted that way.

Only with the groom.

## [Group Singing]

Sorry I can't stay,

but I have a train on tap.

All the best, Georgie.

Can't stand to hear me

sing again, huh?

You know it isn't that.

[Applause]

Now here's Ray Anthony,

his orchestra...

and the big hit record

"Rock Around the Rock Pile."

[Loud Cheering]

Thank you.

And now, here she is...

the girl who turned

our record into pure gold...

- Miss JerriJordan.

- [Cheering]

You're on.

This one's for you, Tom.

[Cheering Continues]

If you don't mind, I'd like to make

a change in the program tonight.

Some of you girls out there may know how

it feels to lose somebody you're crazy about.

## [Singing]

[Cheering]

Hey, Miller.

I gotta talk to you.

First I talk to you, Fats.

Number one,

I just kissed your future wife.

Number two,

I'm in love with her.

Number three,

go ahead and hit me.

- Number four, you treat her right, or I'll-

- Tommy boy!

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