The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Page #13

Questular watches dumbfounded as Kwaltz hands the papers

back to the messenger who turns and runs off.

40 EXT. SPACE - NIGHT 40

The Heart of Gold comes out of hyperspace and slows to

cruising speed...alone. No Vogons in sight.

41 INT. HEART OF GOLD. BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS 41

Zaphod's Head 2 is still up, beaming.

ZAPHOD HEAD 2

Damn, I'm good.

Hands slam Head 2 down. Zaphod (Head 1) turns to Ford.

ZAPHOD:

So -- you along for the ride or am I

dropping you somewhere?

FORD:

(still wary of the two heads)

Depends. Where you going?

ZAPHOD:

Into the pages of history, cousin.

And when you see what I'm about to show

you, you'll beg me to take you with us.

WITH TRILLIAN -- who notices Arthur looking ill.

TRILLIAN:

You okay?

ARTHUR:

Normally I would say "I'll live," but

given the circumstances...

(wiping his brow)

Is there any tea on this spaceship?

TRILLIAN:

This way.

She exits. Arthur follows. Zaphod steps back, blocking

his way.

ZAPHOD:

Hey, apeman. Earthman. I'm sorry, what

was your name again?

ARTHUR:

Arthur.

(CONTINUED)

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41

ZAPHOD:

Right. No hard feelings, okay? And

sorry to hear about your planet, but don't

mention it to the girl because if you do

I'll...I'll...

He smiles broader. Then Head 2 pops up and finishes...

ZAPHOD HEAD 2

I'll pull your spleen out through your

ass!

Zaphod slams Head 2 back into place..then smiles again.

Arthur furrows his brow and Zaphod and follows Trillian.

FORD:

Two heads. Interesting choice.

ZAPHOD:

Apparently you can't be President with a

whole brain.

FORD:

So you carved it up?

ZAPHOD:

Yes -- I think. And I think I did it in

such a way that it wouldn't be detected by

the Government screening tests -- or by

me. So, what's so secret that I can't let

anybody know I know it, not the Galactic

Government, not even myself? And the

answer is--

(thinking)

--I don't know. Obviously. But I put a

few things together and that's when I

realized I had this.

He points to the COBALT BLUE CUBE on his gold necklace.

42 INT. SHIP'S KITCHEN AREA - CONTINUOUS 42

CLOSE ON - the NUTRI-MATIC MACHINE. Brownish liquid

flows into it a Martini glass, topped with dry-ice fog.

Arthur removes the glass. Sips. Grimaces

TRILLIAN:

I suppose I should have said it

resembles tea.

ARTHUR:

So two heads is what does it for a girl,

then? I mean, if I'd had two heads. Or

three?

TRILLIAN:

Or your own space ship.

(CONTINUED)

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42

ARTHUR:

Anything else he's got two of?

TRILLIAN:

Come on, Arthur, don't be like that.

ARTHUR:

Well, what am I supposed to be like?

Green? Bleeping? What?

TRILLIAN:

Just be yourself. Have some fun. Does it

hurt?

ARTHUR:

No, I suppose it wouldn't..

TRILLIAN:

I mean...

She points to his jaw, he nods, she picks up her BACKPACK.

TRILLIAN (CONT'D)

I might have an aspirin.

She unzips it. TWO MICE scurry out and scamper off, a

hair-clip is clipped to one of the mice's tail.

TRILLIAN (CONT'D)

Hey. What are they doing in there?

Before she can catch them, they scurry under the door.

TRILLIAN {CONT'D)

They were from my lab at university. Odd...

ARTHUR:

So all that's left is me and you, "mostly

harmless," and two lab rats.

She furrows her brow. What does he mean?

ARTHUR (CONT'D)

Look, there's something I should tell

you...

ZAPHOD (O.S.)

Showtime, Trill!

TRILLIAN:

Can it keep? You might want to see this.

Arthur nods. She leaves. He looks at his "tea", throws

it in the trash bin.

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3 INT. HEART OF GOLD, BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS 43

Trillian and Arthur join Ford and Zaphod at the computer.

ZAPHOD:

--and when I saw what I'm about to show

you, that's when I realized why I did what

I did to my brain -- or it least, I think

that's why.

44 ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN -- 44

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