The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Page #15

The surrounding crowd is stunned. More MUTTERING.

DEEP THOUGHT (O.S.) (CONT'D)

I checked it thoroughly. It would have

been simpler, of course, to have known

what the actual question was.

LUNKWILL:

But it was the Question. The Ultimate

Question!

DEEP THOUGHT:

Yes, but what actually is it?

FOOK (O.S.)

Everything! You know ... just EVERYTHING!

DEEP THOUGHT (O.S.)

That's not a question. Only when you know

what the actual question will you know

what the answer means.

LUNKWILL:

Give us the Ultimate Question then!!

DEEP THOUGHT:

I can't.

(long pause)

But there is one who can. A computer that

is to come after me, one that I will

design. A computer to calculate the

Ultimate Question, one of such infinite

complexity that life itself will form part

of its operational matrix. And you

yourselves shall take on new more primitive

forms and go down into the computer to

navigate its ten million year program. I

shall design this computer for you. And it

shall be called...

The picture distorts and whites out. PSSSSHHHHHH.

4 44.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

9 EXT. HEART OF GOLD. BRIDGE. - CONTINUOUS 49

Zaphod hits eject. The blue cube rises.

FORD:

That's it?

ZAPHOD:

That's it.

FORD:

You're looking for the Ultimate Question?

ZAPHOD:

Yep.

FORD:

You.

ZAPHOD:

Me.

FORD:

Why?

ZAPHOD:

No, I tried that. "Why?" "Forty-two."

Doesn't work.

(to Trillian)

Let's get her ready, babe.

He moves to a different rack of instruments, consults a

check list, starts flipping some switches.

FORD:

I mean, why do you want to know the

Ultimate Question?

ZAPHOD:

Oh. Well -- partly the curiosity, partly

a sense of adventure, but mostly I think

it's for the fame and the money.

He continues preparing the ship. Trillian consults the

huge MANUAL, turning dials, flipping switches...

ARTHUR:

But -- you're President of the Galaxy,

aren't you?

ZAPHOD:

Yes, Arman.

ARTHUR:

Arthur.

ZAPHOD:

Whatever. Presidential fame is temporary,

I find the Question, that's permanent. It

sticks. Plus everyone thinks you're deep.

Win-win.

(CONTINUED)

4 45.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

9 CONTINUED:
49

FORD:

But you don't know the name of the

computer that other computer was talking

about.

ZAPHOD:

Which is why I'm going there.

FORD:

Where?

ZAPHOD:

There. To find Deep Thought. On

Magrathea.

FORD:

Magrathea!? Magrathea is a myth, a

legend...

ZAPHOD:

No, it isn't. It's real, cousin. And this

is the only ship in the universe that can

get you there.

FORD:

(realizing)

You mean to tell me you carved up your

brain so you could become President so you

would get invited to the launching

ceremony of this ship...so you could steal

it... so you could go to Magrathea --

which, according to most sane people,

doesn't even exist?

ZAPHOD:

Yep.

FORD:

Beautiful.

ARTHUR:

Why this ship? What's so special about

it?

Zaphod thinks again -- hard.

ZAPHOD:

I don't seem to be letting myself in on

any of my secrets.

TRILLIAN (O.S.)

Because of this, obviously.

They turn to see Trillian flipping open a glass lid

revealing a BIG RED BUTTON. Ford reads the glowing

letters above the button...

(CONTINUED)

4 46.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

9 CONTINUED:
(2) 49

FORD:

(reading)

Infinite Improbability Drive? So they

finally built one that works. And that's

how we got picked up.

ZAPHOD:

Exactly. And I'm guessing if we hit that

button -- we go to Magrathea.

ARTHUR:

You're guessing?

ZAPHOD:

Hey, anyone who's not up for that, there's

the door. Now who's in?

FORD:

For a trip to a place that doesn't exist?

I'm in. My editor will think I'm crazy,

but what the hell -- he already thinks I'm

dead.

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