The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Page #2

FORD:

Whoa. You already know? How?

Arthur simply motions to the bulldozer.

(CONTINUED)

5 5.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

CONTINUED:
(2) 5

FORD (CONT'D)

Oh. When you say "they" you mean they.

Got it. Listen, I gotta tell you

something important, and I gotta tell you

now.

ARTHUR:

But what about my house?

Ford looks to Prosser who is conferring with the

bulldozer driver. He pushes the cart over to him.

ARTHUR - watches as Ford gestures to Prosser who waves

his hand and the all the 'dozer engines die.

The bulldozer drivers step down, start drinking the beer

and eating the peanuts. Ford returns to Arthur.

FORD:

C'mon. Let's go to the pub. He said they

won't destroy your house until they've

finished the beers.

ARTHUR:

Can we trust him?

FORD:

I'd trust him to the end of the Earth.

ARTHUR:

And how far's that?

FORD:

About twelve minutes away.

CUT TO:

6 INT. VILLAGE PUB - MIDDAY 6

Ford and Arthur enter the half-full pub. Ford hurries to

the bar. Arthur follows, cell phone to his ear.

FORD:

Six pints of bitter. And quickly. The

world's about to end.

BARMAN:

Oh yes, sir? Nice weather for it.

He starts to pull pints. Ford shoves bar peanuts into

his pockets while Arthur shouts into his phone...

ARTHUR:

Well, when does he get back from lunch?

Or is he going straight out for tea?!

He shuts the phone, sits, looking forlorn.

ARTHUR (CONT'D)

This is shaping up to be a crap day.

(CONTINUED)

6 6.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

CONTINUED:
6

FORD:

It's about to get a lot crappier.

BARMAN:

There you are, six pints.

Ford slaps down a £50 note. The barman's impressed.

FORD:

Keep the change. You've got ten minutes to

spend it.

Ford pushes three pints in front of Arthur.

ARTHUR:

Three? At lunchtime?

FORD:

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

ARTHUR:

Very deep. You should send that in to the

Reader's Digest. They've got a page for

people like you.

FORD:

Drink up.

ARTHUR:

Why three pints?

FORD:

Muscle relaxant.

(grabbing more peanuts)

And eat these. You'll need the salt.

ARTHUR:

What's going on. Ford?

FORD:

What would you say if I told you I wasn't

really from Guilford but from a small

planet somewhere in the vicinity of

Eetelgeuse?

ARTHUR:

Why, is it the sort of thing you're likely

to say?

FORD:

Remember when we met? That car was racing

toward me, I was trying to greet it, you

pushed me out of the way?

7 7.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

QUICK CUT TO A STREET - MID-DAY 7

Ford stands in the middle of the road, extending a hand

to a fast approaching car.

Arthur drops his shopping, dives at him and tackles him

out of the way as the car zooms past.

(6 cont) BACK TO FORD IN THE PUB: (6 cont)

FORD:

Didn't you find it a little strange that I

was trying to shake hands with a car?

ARTHUR:

I assumed you were drunk.

FORD:

(shaking his head)

I thought cars were the dominant life

form. I was trying to introduce myself.

ARTHUR:

And that's why you're named after a

discontinued car from the seventies?

FORD:

(nodding)

You saved my life that day. Now I'm

saving yours.

Arthur just stares at him, then turns to his beer.

ARTHUR:

This must be Thursday. I never could get

the hang of Thursdays.

FORD:

Look, if it's about your house...

ARTHUR:

No, it's not that. It's....

He shows Ford the photo of he and Tricia on his phone.

ARTHUR (CONT'D)

I found her. Ford. The perfect girl. I

found her, and then I let her get away.

You remember that fancy dress party I told

you about?

FORD:

This isn't a long story, is it? We've

only got six minutes.

Arthur shakes his head. Ford checks his watch.

(CONTINUED)

6 8.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

CONTINUED:
(2) 6

FORD (CONT'D)

Okay. Talk and drink. Fancy dress party.

ARTHUR:

At that flat in Islington. I told you

about it. Last week, remember?

FLASHBACK TO:

8 INT. ISLINGTON FLAT - NIGHT 8

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