The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Page #21

ZAPHOD (CONT'D)

Computer! Take us to Magrathea!

ARTHUR:

What? No! Follow those ships!

(CONTINUED)

6 61.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

4 CONTINUED:
64

Arthur lunges for a control. Zaphod woozily tries to

stop him. There's a struggle, then Zaphod realizes...

ZAPHOD:

Hey -- my third arm. I had one, didn't I?

ARTHUR:

We have to go after her!

The computer fires to life, BLEEPS and BLIPS. Only now

it has an effete, effeminate, almost matriarchal voice.

EDDIE:

Boys, please! Not so rough. You're

damaging my joystick.

They all look at the source of the voice, confused.

FORD:

Who is that?

MARVIN:

Ghastly, isn't it? I was asked to change

the personality type, this was the

emergency back-up.

EDDIE:

How, if you want me to take you somewhere,

we're going to have to start using our

magic words, "please" and "thank you."

ARTHUR:

Can you change it back?

MARVIN:

I can -- but I won't enjoy it.

EDDIE:

I'm wait-ing...

Arthur sees the Vogon ships getting away. Desperate, he

shoves_Zaphod out of_the_driver's seat. Zaphod hits the

floor, considers protesting, lies down on the floor to

sleep instead -- with a contented smile.

Arthur sits. He looks very out of place in a seat

normally reserved for the likes of Han Solo. He scans

the console. Ford sits in the seat beside him.

ARTHUR:

Ford?

FORD:

Marvin?

MARVIN:

Don't look at me. I'm too depressed.

(CONTINUED)

6 62.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

4 CONTINUED:
64

ARTHUR:

(getting desperate)

Computer?! Isn't there some kind of

manual override switch thing?

EDDIE:

Yeeessss...

ARTHUR:

WELL WHERE THE HELL IS IT?!

EDDIE:

Magic words?

ARTHUR:

Show me the override switch or I'll

reprogram you with a very large axe.

EDDIE:

(long pause)

I can see this relationship is something

we're all going to have to work at.

64a DING. A chime sounds. A switch on the console 64a

ILLUMINATES. "MANUAL OVERRIDE." Arthur flips the switch.

The cockpit is sealed in a glass ball and shoots upwards.

65 EXT. HEART OF GOLD - NIGHT 65

The cockpit bubble POPS out like an ejector seat, now a

little glass pod. It floats through space, then rear

thrusters ignite and blast the ship forward.

66 INT. HEART OF GOLD BRIDGE/POD - CONTINUOUS 66

An aircraft steering wheel rises up between Arthur's

legs. He grabs it, spinning out of control.

FORD:

I think I should push this button.

Ford pushes a big button. AN ALARM SOUNDS!

ARTHUR:

What's that? What happened?!

FORD:

A sign lit up saying "Please do not push

this button again."

Arthur grabs the control, does his best to steer.

67 EXT. SPACE - NIGHT 67

The glass pod streaks unsteadily forward toward A DULL

GRAY PLANET.

68 EXT. VOGSPHERE - DAY 68

The rectangular ship sits on the surface as Police escort

Trillian off it and into a GRAY RECTANGULAR BLDG.

6 63.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

9 DIFFERENT PART OF VOGSPHERE/NEAR SWAMP-- 69

The ground is barren. A scintillatingly jeweled crab

crawls out of a swamp and looks up at the sky. We hear

the sound of the pod approaching (but hold on the crab)

as EEEOOOO-KA-KFFFZZZ! The crab runs back into the

swamp. PAN LEFT to see the pod rammed into the ground,

steam rising. The door opens. The three emerge.

FORD:

Wow...

MARVIN:

I know. Dreadful, isn't it?

ARTHUR:

Sorry about the landing. Where are we?

ZAPHOD:

Magrathea!

FORD:

Wrong. This is the Vogon planet. This is

Vogsphere.

ZAPHOD:

No. It's Magrathea! I know it!

Ford reaches in his satchel, pulls out a sort of

ELECTRONIC BERET, pulls it snugly onto Zaphod's head.

FORD:

Little something I learned about on an

Altairian star cruiser. Captains use them

when they really need to concentrate.

ARTHUR:

What is it?

FORD:

A Thinking Cap.

Zaphod squints hard to think as he looks around.

70 EXT. VOGCITY 70

THEIR P.O.V. -- there are rows and rows of dull, gray,

rectangular buildings as far as the eye can see.

(69 cont) The three men step out of the ship. (69 cont)

MARVIN:

This will all end in tears, I just know

it.

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