The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Page #28

They turn just in time to see her jump into the vortex.

She YELPS as her body is bent in half, twisted like a

rung mop, then sucked inside.

Arthur is horrified, literally gasping for air. Ford is

semi-impressed. Zaphod, unfazed.

ZAPHOD:

That's supposed to happen...I think.

Ford shrugs, throws his towel around his neck like a

scarf and dives through. Same thing. Bent, twisted...

(CONTINUED)

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ZAPHOD (CONT'D)

Hey, wait for me!

He runs after Ford, stops at the door, turns like he's

about to board Air Force one, gives a salute, jumps in.

Arthur finally gets his legs to move, steps up -- but

hesitates at the threshold, paralyzed with fear, unable

to take a step. Then -- FFSSSSH - the door seals shut.

ARTHUR:

No. No! NOOO!!!

He bangs on the stone, slides his hand around like Zaphod

did, desperately looking for a way to open it. He

collapses and buries his head in his hands.

MARVIN:

I told you this would all end in tears.

CUT TO:

91 EXT. TEMPLE OF DEEP THOUGHT - MOMENTS LATER 91

Ford stands outside a stone doorway at the end of a

cobblestone street. Zaphod's body falls to the ground

next to him, untwists, unbends and snaps bolt upright

beside them.

Trillian is already heading down the street toward the

Temple. Ford and Zaphod hurry to catch up to her.

92 EXT. ROCK FORMATION - DAY 92

Arthur sits with his back against the stone, staring

across the field at the beautiful double sunset. He looks

over and sees THE TWO MICE FROM THE SHIP -- scurrying

toward one of the giant stone doors. They slip through a

crack beneath the stone. A FLASH OF LIGHT bursts through

the crack. Arthur barely reacts, so drained of emotion.

ARTHUR:

Life is full of paradoxes, isn't it?

MARVIN:

Don't talk to me about life.

ARTHUR:

Here I am, God knows how far from home...

MARVIN:

Don't talk to me about God.

ARTHUR:

...and this is where I see the most

spectacular sunset I've ever laid eyes on.

We only had the one sun at home. Planet

called Earth.

(CONTINUED)

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MARVIN:

I know. You keep going on about it. It

sounds awful.

ARTHUR:

Oh no, it's beautiful. Or at least, it

was...

MARVIN:

Did it have oceans?

ARTHUR:

Yes. Great wide rolling blue oceans.

MARVIN:

Can't bear oceans.

Arthur looks up at Marvin.

ARTHUR:

So this is how it will all end, then? Me,

on a dead planet -- with a manically

depressed robot.

MARVIN:

You think you've got problems? What are

you supposed to do if you are a manically

depressed robot? No, don't bother to

answer that, I'm fifty thousand times more

intelligent than you and even I don't know

the answer. It gives me a headache just

trying to think down to your level.

SLARTIBARTFAST (0.S.)

Excuse me.

Arthur spins to see AN OLD, BEARDED MAN IN LONG ROBES.

ARTHUR:

Aah!

He jumps, crab walks backwards away from the man.

ARTHUR (CONT'D)

Who are you?

SLARTIBARTFAST:

My name is not important.

Arthur continues to scramble away from the man.

SLARTIBARTFAST (CONT'D)

You must come with me. Terrible events are

afoot. You must come or you'll be late.

ARTHUR:

Late? What for?

SLARTIBARTFAST:

What is your name, Earthman?

(CONTINUED)

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ARTHUR:

Dent. Arthur Dent.

SLARTIBARTFAST:

Late as in "the late Dentarthurdent."

It's a sort of threat you see. Never been

much good at them myself, but I'm told

they can be terribly effective.

He motions to the stone that is marked "To Showroom."

SLARTIBARTFAST (CONT'D)

Your friends are safe. You can trust me.

ARTHUR:

Trust a man who won't tell me his name?

SLARTIBARTFAST:

My name? Very well...

(heaves a sigh, reluctant)

My name is...Slartibartfast.

Arthur reacts with a furrowed brow.

SLARTIBARTFAST(CONT'D)

I said it wasn't important.

Slartibartfast motions to the door. He looks to Marvin.

MARVIN:

I could calculate your chances of survival

-- but you won't like it.

Arthur rises, cautiously moves over to Slarti's side.

SLARTIBARTFAST:

I must warn you. We are about to pass

through, well, a sort of gateway thing. It

may disturb you. It scares the willies out

of me.

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