The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Page #35

FORD:

(squinting at Arthur)

You know -- I think sometimes you say

things that mean something other than what

you're actually saying.

More gunfire erupts. Ford spins his towel until it's

twisted and taught. He leaps up and runs towards...

107 ...THE VOGON POLICE FORCE -- who see him coming, his 107

towel held like he's going to whip someone on the ass.

FORD (CONT'D)

AHHHHHHHH!!!!

The Vogons are so caught off guard, they back away.

TRILLIAN:

Now!

108 She and Arthur both run out toward the gun. 108

ARTHUR TRILLIAN

I thought I was...what are I thought I was...I'll get

you... get back... okay it... you already... fine,

fine... fine

They each grab the gun just as Questular realizes...

QUESTULAR:

It's a towel! It's only a TOWEL!! GET

HIM!!

The Police stop their retreat, raise their guns, move

forward. Ford skids to a stop and runs back toward

Arthur and Trillian, both clinging to the gun, running

back toward the truck. GUNFIRE ERUPTS. A and T TRIP.

The POV gun goes flying and lands in... MARVIN'S ARMS.

(CONTINUED)

1 101.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

08 CONTINUED:
108

The Vogon Police run in formation toward the gang. Ford

looks back, sees the Vogons approaching. He looks

forward, sees Marvin raising the gun.

FORD:

Duck!

ZAPHOD:

Where?

He looks to the skies just as Ford fans out his towel and

uses it to bring Z, A & T to the ground just as...

MARVIN FIRES THE POV GUN,

Questular ducks. CLICK. The entire Vogon Police force is

hit. They instantly stop. Their shoulders slump.

VOGON POLICE FORCE

(in unison)

Oh what's the point?

They turn their weapons on themselves and...

ANGLE ON FORD, ZAPHOD, ARTHUR AND TRILLIAN -- turning

their heads as we hear the weapons fire. They look up.

108a All the Vogon Police lie motionless on the ground 108a

including Kwaltz. Questular is the last man standing.

He marches toward them, patches of clump baldness on his

head. He drops to his knees.

QUESTULAR:

Shoot me. Please Zaphod. Shoot me.

Zaphod takes the gun, fires it at Questular. He rises --

and paints on a big smile.

QUESTULAR (CONT'D}

What am I so pissed off about? I'm great?

I'm zarking incredible! Everyone loves

me! WHOOO HOOO!!! Look at me...etc.

Questular runs towards a lake/blow hole, takes off his

clothes and jumps in.

ZAPHOD:

Marvin. You saved our lives.

MARVIN:

I know. Wretched, isn't it?

QUESTULAR:

(distant) Oh man! I love being me!!

They share a laugh. Arthur approaches Slartibartfast.

ARTHUR:

Thank you.

(CONTINUED)

1 102.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

08a CONTINUED:
108a

SLARTIBARTFAST:

I've just been informed by some of the

lads that since we're so near completion,

we're going to go ahead and finish Earth.

We can put it back exactly the way it was

when you left, you know -- unless there's

anything you'd like to change. Something

you think your planet could do without?

Arthur thinks about it...looks around...slowly nods...

ARTHUR:

Yes. Me.

He looks to Trillian who raises an eyebrow. Really?

She smiles.

TRILLIAN:

Let's go somewhere.

ARTHUR:

Yes, You name it. I'll go.

ZAPHOD:

I'm going to Humma's. He has my head...I

think. Doesn't he? I'm so confused.

FORD:

And I'm hungry. After we get your head

let's grab a bite. I know this great

restaurant at the end of the universe.

As they walk away, we CUT TO...

109 SLARTI'S FACTORY ELEVATOR -- where they all board. 109

SLARTIBARTFAST:

Okay. Hold tight.

Everyone grabs the rail, except for Trillian who holds on

to Arthur. SSSSSSHHHHHHHHHVUMP! Up into the sky they go.

VOICE (O.S.)

Stand-by for commencement of life cycle.

All systems checked and cleared.

Commencing.

We hear KL-KLUNK. BZZZZZZZ... and watch nature burst

into life - animals run - flowers bloom - waterfalls

cascade - mountains rise in the mist - monkeys bathe in

hot springs etc. Set to a wonderful, uplifting piece of

music ("WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD?").

Tilt up to the sky. The day turns to night. Stars appear.

The Heart of Gold streaks through the stars.

THE END:

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