The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Page #9

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31 INT. HEART OF GOLD. RECEIVING BAY - NIGHT 31

In the middle of this hi-tech receiving bay sit two

ornate golden brocade sofas.

FEMALE VOICE (TRILLIAN)

(through speakers)

Two to the power of ten thousand to one

against and falling.

The sofas shake a little.

ARTHUR:

Ford...

FORD:

Yes?

ARTHUR:

I think I'm a sofa.

FORD:

I think I know how you feel.

A long pause. Both sofas begin to thrash in panic.

FEMALE VOICE (TRILLIAN)

Five to one against and falling...

A pair of arms and legs pop out of each sofa.

TRILLIAN:

Four to one against and falling...

3 26.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

2 INT. HEART OF GOLD. BRIDGE - NIGHT 32

32a CLOSE ON A MONITOR -- on which plays a news report. 32a

REPORTER (ON TV)

...and of course, the top story is still

the sensational theft of the new

Improbability Drive prototype ship Heart of

Gold last week, stolen at the launch

ceremony by none other than Galactic

President Zaphod Beeblebrox.

ZAPHOD (ON TV)

So, in the name of the people and freedom

and, I dunno, democracy and stuff like

that, I hereby declare this ship

officially stolen!

PULL BACK to reveal ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX, leaning toward the

TV, watching with a very satisfied grin...

FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)

Three to one...two to one...

Annoyed, he turns. There's a woman with red hair

(TRILLIAN), her back to him, reading numbers off a

console display and speaking into a microphone.

TRILLIAN:

(into microphone)

Probability factor of one to one...we have

normality, I repeat we have normality.

Anything you still can't cope with is

therefore your own problem. Please relax.

You will be sent for soon.

ZAPHOD:

Hey. Do you mind? I can't hear.

TRILLIAN turns -- and we now recognize her as Tricia from

the fancy dress party. Her hair is shorter and bright

red. She looks amazing.

TRILLIAN:

Can we put your ego aside for one moment?

Something important has happened.

ZAPHOD:

If there's anything more important than my

ego on this ship, I want it caught and

shot now.

He turns back to the TV and turns it up.

REPORTER (OK TV)

...the question everyone seems to be

asking is, has the Big Z finally flipped?

We asked his private brain care

Specialist, Gag Halfrunt...

GAG HALFRRUNT:

Vell, Zaphod's just zis guy, you know --

(CONTINUED)

3 27.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

2 CONTINUED:
(2) 32

The TV suddenly clicks off. Zaphod spins. Trillian's

holding a remote.

ZAPHOD:

Hey...

TRILLIAN:

We have a couple of hitchhikers in our

receiving bay.

His head jerks upwards. He quickly grabs it with his

hands and shoves it back down.

TRILLIAN (CONT'D)

I didn't pick them up. The ship did.

ZAPHOD:

Huh?

TRILLIAN:

When you engaged the Improbability Drive.

ZAPHOD:

I didn't engage the drive.

TRILLIAN:

We picked them up in sector ZZ9 Plural Z

Alpha -- where you picked me up.

ZAPHOD:

That's impossible.

TRILLIAN:

No. Just very, very improbable.

ZAPHOD:

I don't have time for this! We've got the

police of half the Galaxy after us and we

stop to pick up hitchhikers?! Okay, so

ten out of ten for style, but minus

several million for good thinking, eh?

He reaches for a hi-tech gun on the wall. She stops him.

TRILLIAN:

Don't. I'll send Marvin. (calling)

Marvin!

Zaphod rolls his eyes as a humanoid robot rises from its

seat behind them. This is MARVIN. He trudges slump-

shouldered toward Zaphod.

MARVIN:

I think you ought to know I'm feeling very

depressed.

TRILLIAN:

We have something to take your mind off

things.

(CONTINUED)

3 28.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03

2 CONTINUED:
(3) 32

MARVIN:

It won't work, I have an exceptionally

large mind.

TRILLIAN:

I know. Go down to the number two entry

bay and bring the two aliens up here.

MARVIN:

Just that?

TRILLIAN:

Yes.

MARVIN:

I won't enjoy it.

ZAPHOD:

She's not asking you to enjoy it. Just do

it will you?

MARVIN:

All right. I'll do it.

Marvin turns and trudges away. Then he turns again.

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