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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Page #9
CUT TO:
31 INT. HEART OF GOLD. RECEIVING BAY - NIGHT 31
In the middle of this hi-tech receiving bay sit two
FEMALE VOICE (TRILLIAN)
(through speakers)
Two to the power of ten thousand to one
against and falling.
ARTHUR:
Ford...
FORD:
Yes?
ARTHUR:
I think I'm a sofa.
FORD:
I think I know how you feel.
A long pause. Both sofas begin to thrash in panic.
FEMALE VOICE (TRILLIAN)
Five to one against and falling...
A pair of arms and legs pop out of each sofa.
TRILLIAN:
Four to one against and falling...
3 26.
2 INT. HEART OF GOLD. BRIDGE - NIGHT 32
32a CLOSE ON A MONITOR -- on which plays a news report. 32a
REPORTER (ON TV)
...and of course, the top story is still
the sensational theft of the new
Improbability Drive prototype ship Heart of
Gold last week, stolen at the launch
ceremony by none other than Galactic
President Zaphod Beeblebrox.
ZAPHOD (ON TV)
So, in the name of the people and freedom
and, I dunno, democracy and stuff like
that, I hereby declare this ship
officially stolen!
PULL BACK to reveal ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX, leaning toward the
TV, watching with a very satisfied grin...
FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
Three to one...two to one...
Annoyed, he turns. There's a woman with red hair
(TRILLIAN), her back to him, reading numbers off a
console display and speaking into a microphone.
TRILLIAN:
(into microphone)
Probability factor of one to one...we have
normality, I repeat we have normality.
Anything you still can't cope with is
therefore your own problem. Please relax.
You will be sent for soon.
ZAPHOD:
Hey. Do you mind? I can't hear.
TRILLIAN turns -- and we now recognize her as Tricia from
the fancy dress party. Her hair is shorter and bright
red. She looks amazing.
TRILLIAN:
Can we put your ego aside for one moment?
Something important has happened.
ZAPHOD:
If there's anything more important than my
ego on this ship, I want it caught and
shot now.
He turns back to the TV and turns it up.
REPORTER (OK TV)
...the question everyone seems to be
asking is, has the Big Z finally flipped?
We asked his private brain care
Specialist, Gag Halfrunt...
GAG HALFRRUNT:
Vell, Zaphod's just zis guy, you know --
(CONTINUED)
3 27.
HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03
2 CONTINUED:
(2) 32The TV suddenly clicks off. Zaphod spins. Trillian's
holding a remote.
ZAPHOD:
Hey...
TRILLIAN:
We have a couple of hitchhikers in our
receiving bay.
His head jerks upwards. He quickly grabs it with his
hands and shoves it back down.
TRILLIAN (CONT'D)
I didn't pick them up. The ship did.
ZAPHOD:
Huh?
TRILLIAN:
When you engaged the Improbability Drive.
ZAPHOD:
I didn't engage the drive.
TRILLIAN:
We picked them up in sector ZZ9 Plural Z
Alpha -- where you picked me up.
ZAPHOD:
That's impossible.
TRILLIAN:
No. Just very, very improbable.
ZAPHOD:
I don't have time for this! We've got the
police of half the Galaxy after us and we
stop to pick up hitchhikers?! Okay, so
ten out of ten for style, but minus
several million for good thinking, eh?
He reaches for a hi-tech gun on the wall. She stops him.
TRILLIAN:
Don't. I'll send Marvin. (calling)
Marvin!
Zaphod rolls his eyes as a humanoid robot rises from its
seat behind them. This is MARVIN. He trudges slump-
shouldered toward Zaphod.
MARVIN:
I think you ought to know I'm feeling very
depressed.
TRILLIAN:
We have something to take your mind off
things.
(CONTINUED)
3 28.
2 CONTINUED:
(3) 32MARVIN:
It won't work, I have an exceptionally
large mind.
TRILLIAN:
I know. Go down to the number two entry
bay and bring the two aliens up here.
MARVIN:
Just that?
TRILLIAN:
Yes.
MARVIN:
I won't enjoy it.
ZAPHOD:
She's not asking you to enjoy it. Just do
it will you?
MARVIN:
All right. I'll do it.
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"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 28 Feb. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_hitchhiker's_guide_to_the_galaxy_112>.
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