The Hitman's Bodyguard Page #6

---

Well, we're gonna be there in half that.

Then why are you calling me?

Right. Well...

I'm calling you because

I've been thinking, and...

I forgive you.

Yeah.

It feels good to say that.

I forgive you, Amelia.

Are you f***ing kidding me'?

What?

You're seriously doing this now?

- No. What?

- And forgive me for what?

- There's nothing to forgive!

- No, no, no, look, I thought that you...

- Just get Kincaid here!

- F***ing prick!

Darius?

F***!

Yeah. We've got the whole area covered.

If Kincaid shows up, he's ours.

Stay alert.

Copy that.

Yeah, tulips.

That will be 25.

Easy

ay, mi cucaracha.

Couldn't you just had

the flowers delivered?

Needed a personal touch.

You were about to get

his personal touch,

if I hadn't followed you.

All right, I appreciate you.

And the guys who started

tracking you a few blocks ago.

You mean the guy you snatched in the bush,

and the two you left

knocked out in the park?

Like I said, I appreciate you.

Okay, so if you knew

that they were out there,

but you still felt it was important

to deliver these flowers?

Sonia's gonna really love those flowers.

I sure f***ing hope so.

Now, this is as close

as I'm gonna be to her

for a very long time.

It had to be special.

First.

I'm first. Look... you were saying?

Tell me something.

The day you and agent roussel

took that picture I saw in your place,

what kind of things would you have done

for her to make her happy?

Anything. I loved her. Trusted her.

She sold me out. Case closed.

Well, that's cold. Maybe, just maybe,

you ought to give her a pass on this.

I mean, I gotta tell you, honestly,

there's not a lot of women

who'd put up with your sh*t.

That's inspirational, thank you.

What I meant to say:

There's no women who would put up with it.

- That's better.

- You're an annoying motherf***er

with all your rules and sh*t.

I mean, if she can put up with that,

she must be a pretty special girl.

She is.

You know, I told her today

that I forgave her.

Really? And how'd that go?

Hard to tell.

You know, women don't like

to be forgiven for sh*t

'cause that implies they did

some sh*t to begin with.

I should just forget about kurosawa.

- W hat?

- Takashi kurosawa.

He was my client, she exposed him,

and he got killed.

Something funny?

She didn't expose your client!

I popped kurosawa!

I was at the airport for another target.

I spotted him by accident.

Lucky for me. Him, not so much.

Doubled my money

on that corrupt Asian motherf***er.

The single most awesome shot

I've made in my entire hitman career.

Three hundred meters through a firm,

c- cup tittie-sized window.

Hey, I thought you knew

I was the one who popped him.

'Zzz

- sh*t! What the f***, Bryce! Mother...

- we're done!

That sh*t was two years ago, man.

You gonna be a little b*tch about it?

You're on your own!

Well, good! I'll be safer on my own!

You won't last one hour without me!

You'll be dead in a minute!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're about as useful

as a condom in a convent.

- Eat my ass!

- That's what she said!

- Suck it! Suck it!

- F*** you!

F***ing p*ssy-

f***!

Do you have any idea how prepared I was?

No, not really.

No. Every possible scenario

I had covered, every kill shot,

every... every angle.

And he f***ing ruins my life

with one lucky shot

through a window the size of a...

Just a...

There he goes again.

Shots fired! Shots fired!

I hope they kill him. I really do.

Okay.

Even if I did save him, again,

you know what he'd say?

He'd say, "I had it all

figured out before you got here."

He'd say, "I guess my thing"

just better than your thing,

motherf***er."

"I guess bullets are just allergic

to me, motherf***er."

This guy singlehandedly ruined

the word "motherf***er."

Do you know how hard that is to do?

I was triple-a rated executive protection.

I was up here.

I was up here.

And god damn it!

Pass me the magazine.

There he is!

Hi.

Requesting all units, heading south!

Shoot him!

Under the bridge! On your right!

Sorry.

Move! Move! Move! Move! Move! Move! Move!

God damn it!

Who are these guys?

Go, go, go, go, go!

Turn!

He's getting away!

Watch out!

To the right!

- Drop your weapon!

- This way!

F***!

Hey, interpol! Interpol!

F***!

Sh*t!

Hurry!

F***!

F***!

Okay.

A loose helmet

is like wearing no helmet at all.

It's not a button strap. It's a d-ring.

Just unthread it through

the thing. It's very simple.

Well... or there's...

there's that shortcut.

I ask you one time, polite.

Where is Kincaid?

Honestly, I'd tell you if I knew.

You have my word. Look at my right hand.

See that? That's a boy scout salute.

We're sworn to never lie.

I've taken an oath, so you can trust...

right in the f***ing ear!

Really? Waterboarding? Really?

I was in the CIA. You know,

we don't do that anymore.

Okay. Hey, hey. Hold it.

Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait.

Here's what we learned.

The key to interrogation

is establishing a bond

between the interrogator

and the subject, okay?

You know, just sort of

like a rapport, okay?

You need me to like you.

You need me to like you, okay?

You need me to like you!

I really don't like you.

Okay, okay, okay-

where is Kincaid?

He's right behind you.

Scout's honor.

[9unshofl

[9unshofl

[9unshofl

oh, my god!

F***!

Hey, listen, before you start talking,

'cause I know you're gonna

start f***ing talking,

I just want to apologize

for laughing about popping kurosawa.

I know that sh*t

cost you your girl and that...

Fake-ass, made-up triple-a sh*t

- you keep talking about.

- No, no, no...

No, it was all my fault.

No... I did it all to myself.

Bryce, please! Come on,

you didn't do it to yourself.

That's life. Life happens.

Life without Amelia.

Hey, still time to work that sh*t out.

So, how'd you and agent roussel meet?

On a job.

She was...

She was working an undercover op,

very badly.

I was at a client's funeral.

Massive heart attack.

I can protect someone

from bullets and explosives,

but there's nothing I can do

against indiscriminate use of mayonnaise

for 68 straight years.

Technically, I was still on the payroll,

so I was in the building,

paying my respects.

Amelia was there

with some of her other interpol agents.

They were hoping to bust my client's

shady and mayonnaise-chugging brother.

Instead of doing things nice and quiet,

they got marked, and their target runs.

Oh, yeah.

Leave it to interpol to turn

a really fun funeral

with lots of delicious hors d'oeuvres

into a depressing carnival show

of total unprofessionalism.

Just kind of bumped into her.

See, that's what I'm talking about.

It just happened!

You didn't plan it, deduce it,

or Google running

into the girl of your dreams.

You just bumped into her,

the same way I just bumped into kurosawa.

You know, when life gives you sh*t,

you make kool-aid.

That's not really

how that expression works.

Yeah, and that's the beauty

of that motherf***er: Life.

Ah. Yeah, well, life, I mean...

Rate this script:2.5 / 2 votes