The Intern

Freud said,

"Love and work. Work and love.

"That's all there is."

Well, I'm retired,

and my wife is dead.

As you can imagine,

that's given me

some time on my hands.

My wife's been gone

for three and a half years.

I miss her in every way.

And retirement?

That is an ongoing,

relentless effort

in creativity.

At first, I admit

I enjoyed the novelty of it.

Sort of felt like

I was playing hooky.

I used all the miles I'd saved

and traveled the globe.

The problem was,

no matter where I went,

as soon as I got home,

the nowhere-to-be thing

hit me like a ton of bricks.

I realized the key

to this whole deal

was to keep moving.

Get up, get out of the house,

and go somewhere. Anywhere.

Come rain or shine,

I'm at my Starbucks by 7:15.

Excuse me,

mind if we join you here?

Hey, how are ya?

Can't explain it,

but it makes me

feel part of something.

These guys today,

they're not numbers guys.

Don't talk figures with them.

How do I spend

the rest of my days?

You name it.

Golf, books, movies, pinochle

Tried yoga, learned to cook,

bought some plants,

took classes in Mandarin.

Translation, "Believe me,

I've tried everything."

And then, of course,

there are the funerals.

So many more

than I could imagine.

The only traveling I do

these days is out to San Diego

to visit my son

and his family.

They're great.

I love 'em to pieces.

But to be honest, I think

I probably relied on them

way more than I should.

Don't get me wrong,

I'm not an unhappy person.

Quite the contrary.

I just know

there's a hole in my life,

and I need to fill it.

Soon.

Which brings me to today,

when I was leaving the market

and caught your flyer

out of the corner of my eye.

Hmm.

"Seniors, be an intern."

Ben,

I thought that was you. Hi.

-Hey.

-What'd you find?

I think an Internet place

is looking for senior interns.

-Am I reading this right?

-Let me see.

"Applicants must be

over 65 years of age,

"have organizational skills,

"a genuine interest in

e-commerce," whatever that is,

"and a roll-up-your-sleeves

attitude."

AboutTheFit.com,

isn't that the Outfit

that Was...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They bought one of those

old factories in Red Hook.

My daughter says they sell

clothes on the Internet.

How that works,

I have no idea.

Well, you have to

upload the application.

That could be challenging.

Listen to this,

"Cover letters

are so old-fashioned.

"Show us who you are

with a cover-letter video.

"Upload your video

to YouTube or Vimeo

"using .mov, .avi,

or a .mpg file.

"We look forward

to meeting you."

Well, I guess

that's meeting me.

I swear I don't even know

what language that was.

What are you

doing tonight, Ben?

A frozen lasagna?

I could make a little salad,

turn it into a dinner for two,

like we did that time

and never did again.

You know that was

over five months ago?

Oh, yeah. No, no, we gotta

do that again, for sure,

but okay if we take

a rain check?

You're awful cute,

you know that?

No, I didn't.

Well, it's true, you are.

So I'll see you.

Don't take too long, doll.

You're not getting

any younger.

-I know, I know, I know.

-All right.

So here I am,

applying to be

one of your interns

because the more

I think about this idea,

the more tremendous

I think it is.

I love the idea of having

a place I can go every day.

I want the connection,

the excitement.

I wanna be challenged,

and I guess I might even

wanna be needed.

The tech stuff might

take a bit to figure out.

I had to call

my 9-year-old grandson

just to find out

what a USB connector was.

But I'll get there.

Eager to learn.

Also, I want you to know

I've been a company man

all my life.

I'm loyal, I'm trustworthy,

and I'm good in a crisis.

And I love that

you're right here in Brooklyn.

I've lived here all my life,

and lately I feel

I may not be hip enough

to live in Brooklyn,

so this could help

with that, too.

I read once,

musicians don't retire.

They stop when there's

no more music in them.

Well, I still have

music in me,

absolutely positive

about that.

Good news,

I found a size eight in navy.

No, you are right.

That package

should have arrived by now.

Let me track that for you.

Yep, these pants are awesome

if you have hips.

Super slimming.

Okay, let me

just review this with you.

You have six bridesmaids.

You ordered six

of the silk chiffon

Antoinette dresses in pink.

The wedding is in three days,

and the dresses just arrived

all in charcoal gray,

which we don't even sell,

so that is a bit of a mystery.

Okay, here's what

we're gonna do about this.

I am gonna call the vendor

and have this fixed today.

I will personally

see the dresses

before they are Fed Exed,

and I promise you they will

be at your front door

by 9:
00 a.m. Friday, okay?

You know what, let me give you

my cell just in case,

718-555-0199.

Oh, thank you so much

for your patience,

and I am gonna refund you back

all your money. it's the...

Yes.

Okay, hey, you check

this one off your list, okay?

This is done.

And, Rachel,

have a great wedding.

Oh, my God,

how did that happen?

Jules?

I know, I know,

I'm late for something.

Yeah, everything.

You see why I take

customer service calls?

I mean, it's so good.

You learn so much.

Okay, what's up?

What am I doing?

Okay, Cameron was waiting for

you, but had another meeting.

He said he'll be back at 2:00.

Um, everyone

needs you to sign off

-on tomorrow's homepage.

-Right.

And your 11:
00

is in the big conference room.

So is your 11:
10.

Finance needs you,

and I guess you e-mailed

a bunch of people

at 4:
00 a.m. about something?

Oh, good, I forgot about that.

I want to figure out

a way for friends

to shop together online.

Make it less

of an alone thing.

E-mail me that idea, will you?

Yeah, I like that.

Um, is now a good time

to call your mom back?

-Dude, I'm on a bike.

- Happy birthday!

Oh!

Oh, what a mess-

This is the middle

of the office. Don't do...

Don't put that--

-RECEPTIONISTZ Hello.

-Hi.

I'm Ben Whittaker.

I received an e-mail

about an interview

for the senior intern program.

Hey, Ben. How's it goin'?

It's going good, real good.

Thank you.

Excellent.

Take a seat around the corner,

and someone from talent

acquisition will come get you.

Thank you.

"Talent acquisition"?

Okay, you guys

have to remember;

the homepage

has to read in a glance.

Also, you have to get back

like this if you wanna see

what it looks like

if you're, like, over 35.

Okay, so I can't

read anything,

but if I could,

what do you want me to see?

"Five Girls, One Shirt"

or "Check Out The Fit"?

Well, both, but what I really

want you to see

is the shirt worn by

five different body types.

Okay, then you gotta

make me see that.

Try making

the photo grid bigger.

I love that five.

Can we make it more graphic?

Yeah, that's cool.

Maybe hero the girl

in the red shirt.

-Jules...

-That is a great red.

It is going to fly outta here.

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