The Lady from Shanghai

When I start out to make a fool of myself...

...there's very little can stop me.

If I'd known where it would end,

I'd have never let anything start...

...if I'd been in my right mind, that is.

But once I'd seen her...

...I was not in my right mind,

for quite some time.

"Good evening," says I,

thinking myself a very gay dog, indeed.

Here was a beautiful girl

all by herself, and me...

...with plenty of time.

Nothing to do but get myself into trouble.

Some people can smell danger. Not me.

I asked her if she'd have a cigarette.

It's my last, I've been looking forward to it.

Don't disappoint me.

But I don't smoke.

That's how I found her.

And from that moment on...

...I did not use my head very much,

except to be thinking of her.

But in the park, in those days...

unconscious boys dedicated themselves to

berth and things thus.

Help! Help!

Nevertheless these uprooted boys were not

professional

And that's maybe the reason

why I start out in this story...

...a little bit like a hero,

which I most certainly am not.

The cab driver was waking up.

He was okay.

So I borrowed his carriage

to drive the lady home.

In a short while, she recovered herself...

...and brightened up,

what with the things I told her...

...to get her mind off the scare she'd had

and to set her thinking...

.. in the value of the man who had saved it.

Rosalie, fair Rosalie.

- A name I'm after calling you.

- Rosalie?

Why not?

It's a gorgeous, romanticaI name entirely.

- I'm Michael.

- You're a character.

I'm just a poor sailor man...

...and him with the Princess of Central Park

at his side.

Princess Rosalie. I wonder now:

Where does the princess come from?

I don't know

why she should tell you, but....

Well, her parents were Russian,

White Russian.

You never heard of the place

where she comes from.

- Would Her Highness care to gamble?

- Gamble? She's done it for a living.

I'll bet you a dollar

I've been to the place of your birth.

- Zhifu.

- It's on the China coast, Zhifu.

The second wickedest city in the world.

- The first?

- Macau. Wouldn't you say?

I would. I worked there.

You worked in Macau?

Here's your dollar.

How do you rate Shanghai?

- I worked there, too.

- Yeah, as a gambler?

- Well....

- I hope you were luckier than tonight.

You need more than luck in Shanghai.

- Do you know what?

- What?

I bet I could drive the car

from down there inside with you.

- There's a police car on the other road.

- Let's get out of the park.

The horse and cart

will make it easy for the cops to find us.

You don't like them very much.

They can struggle

without our doing their work for them.

Watch where you're going, Mac!

Get that nag out of here!

Now the cops are bound to pick us up.

We'd best leave the cab here and walk.

- You certainly don't like the police.

- I do not.

My car's right there in the garage, anyway.

Tell me, Michael...

...is there a reason

why the police don't like you?

Well, they've never put me in jail

in America.

You know, the nicest jails are in Australia.

The worst are in Spain.

- What law did you break in Spain?

- I killed a man.

Just now, you almost killed a girl.

- Is there a law against that?

- Try it. You won't like the jails here.

They put you in jail for murder here?

I didn't think so.

A man killed his wife in Frisco last week.

She'd gone to the icebox

for a bit of supper.

He thought she was a burglar, he said.

He shot her five times in the head.

- Number 47!

- He had a good lawyer.

I saw his picture in the paper.

Bainbridge or something.

- Bannister.

- Arthur Bannister.

It said he was the greatest criminal lawyer,

the greatest criminal.

- Some people think he is.

- Here's your car, ma'am.

Send the bill to my husband.

If you're a sailor, Michael,

there's a job for you.

Would you like to work for me?

I'd like it.

I'm shipping out tomorrow.

So are we. To the West Coast,

by way of the Canal.

We're short a man on the crew.

I'll make it worth your while.

Could it be this you're looking for?

You were smart to carry a gun,

travel ling alone in the park, but...

...if you knew you had

the gun in your bag...

...why throw away the bag?

I meant for you to find it.

I don't know how to shoot.

It's easy. You just pull the trigger.

Some dame, ain't she?

Yeah, and some car.

Evening, Mr. Grisby.

Mr. Bannister sent it

all the way from San Francisco...

...just so she could have it here.

- Bannister?

- Arthur Bannister himself.

Some guys have all the luck.

Personally, I don't like a girlfriend

to have a husband.

If she'll fool her husband,

I figure she'll fool me.

Now, New York is not as big a city

as it pretends to be...

...so I spent the next day

in the hiring hall, waiting for a ship.

That way, big boob that I am,

I thought I could escape her.

Don't eat that cigarette.

It'll stunt your growth. Come here.

Excuse me.

I wonder if you could help me locate

a Mr. O'Hara.

- Michael O'Hara.

- Mike O'Hara?

You mean, Black Irish,

the big harp that talks fancy?

- I don't know him myself...

- Black Irish?

Yeah, I know him.

Joe. Call Mike O'Hara.

A guy here wants to see him.

Michael O'Hara!

Please step to the bulletin board.

A man wants to see you.

- Shipmates?

- We was in Spain together.

They called him Black Irish

after what he did...

...to them finks back in '39.

Mike's got a lot of blarney in him...

...but he knows how to hurt a man

when he gets mad.

You were asking for me?

- O'Hara?

- O'Hara.

You're what they call

an abie-bodied seaman?

Well, that's what they call it.

- You ever work on a yacht?

- No.

- I presume you can handle a speedboat?

- Well, I presume so.

Do you drink?

- I beg your pardon?

- I asked you if you drink?

Whatever's set in front of me.

Doesn't have to be wholesome...

...just as long as it's strong.

Do you drink habitually?

May I ask, mister,

if you're extending an invitation?

Well, I guess it might as well be.

Now, Mr. O'Hara,

if you'll show me to the nearest bar...

...we'll sit down together

and discuss your coming to work for me.

My name is Bannister.

Bannister.

Boys, may I present Mr. Arthur Bannister,

the world's greatest criminal lawyer.

He'll get you out of anything.

Jake Bjrnson and Goldie, right?

Goldfish is the name. Glad to know you.

Mr. Bannister's wife sent him to get me.

Isn't that right, Mr. Bannister?

Now Mr. Bannister's going

to buy us all a few drinks...

...while I entertain myself

by refusing to go to work for him.

You know, Mike saved my wife's life.

Here. Would you mind

inserting these coins?

Number four.

That's all we like to hear.

Mike's quite a hero, quite a tough guy.

Mister, there ain't no such thing.

No such thing as a tough guy?

What's a tough guy?

I don't know.

A guy with an edge.

What makes him sing better than me?

Something in here.

What makes it loud?

A microphone. That's his edge.

Edge?

A gun or a knife, a nightstick or a razor,

something the other guy ain't got.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes