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The Ladykillers Page #13
More singing, Mrs. Munson and the rest of the choir now
clapping as they sing.
The power-tool whine is louder here. We are looking at a
patch of wall.
After a beat, and with a loud rev as resistance gives way, a
drill bit emerges from the wall, spitting out bits of the
masonry.
The drill withdraws.
After a beat, hammer blows.
The chunk of masonry begins to buckle.
INT. CASINO - SERVICE HALL - DAY
The General opens the door, still somehow immaculately
groomed. Gawain enters.
INT. CHURCH - DAY
The gospel number rising to climax, supported by the organist
and the rest of the congregation.
Clark and Lump, covered in dirt and plaster dust, have started
stuffing bundled bills and small sacks into large garbage
bags. An irregular hole, about three feet across, gapes in
the far wall.
Gawain punches off the boombox, looking at all the money.
GAWAIN:
Well ain't that somethin'.
Clark suddenly freezes in the act of collecting money. He
straightens slowly.
PANCAKE:
Hnnnn. Arrunggggh! Rnffff.
He stands stock still, wincing, gazing off into space.
PANCAKE:
...Mmmmnggh!
He whispers hoarsely, urgently:
PANCAKE:
...IBS!
The other men look at him.
GAWAIN:
...Say what?
PANCAKE:
IBS! Irritable Bowel Syndrome! Is
there a men's room down here?!
GAWAIN:
Oh man, you shouldn't be using the
men's room--
PANCAKE:
Or a lady's room! IBS! Quickly!
GAWAIN:
You shoulda sh*t back in the house,
man! We don't want Elron finding you
in the goddamn crapper!
Clark's voice is still hoarse. He does small knee bends of
urgency:
PANCAKE:
No choice! Quickly! It's a medical
condition!
GAWAIN:
You are disgusting, man. All right,
follow me.
INT. CASINO - DAY
We are CLOSE ON Gawain peering anxiously to one side.
He turns and peers the other way.
We hear a toilet flush and, after a beat, Clark emerges from
the men's room door next to which Gawain stands. His manner
is now completely relaxed.
PANCAKE:
They start walking back to the vault.
PANCAKE:
...Thank you for being so
understanding. Not everyone is, of
course, which is why the biggest
challenge of IBS is educating the
public. Afflicts over two million
people yet most of us have never
heard of it. And it strikes without
regard to age, gender or race.
GAWAIN:
Oh f***, man, I don't wanna know
about it.
PANCAKE:
That's the kind of attitude we're
fighting.
GAWAIN:
Well maybe you should sign me up,
man, 'cause you startin' to irritate
my bowel.
INT. CHURCH - DAY
The choir finishes a number and sits -- all except for Marva
Munson, who unties the knot on her robe at the nape of her
neck, slips it off and, with murmured goodbyes, slips away.
As the two men enter Clark is still holding forth:
PANCAKE:
...I guess I never told you, that's
how Mountain Girl and I met. They
had an IBS Weekend at Grossinger's,
in the Catskills. Of course the
suffered, with the demise of the
Borscht Belt. So they have different
promotions, mixers, so on. This was
a weekend for Irritable Bowel singles
to meet and support each other and
share stories.
GAWAIN:
Man, I don't wanna hear a single one
a them stories.
PANCAKE:
Well, some of them are very--
GAWAIN:
Not one f***in' story! You one f***ed-
up motherf***er! You--
They stop short, looking:
The General and Lump are standing in the middle of the floor,
stock still, each clutching a bag of money, staring up at
the same corner of the ceiling.
Lump turns to Clark and Gawain.
LUMP:
Hey, lookit that.
Gawain and Clark join them in the middle of the vault and
look up at the corner of the ceiling.
A small video camera, aimed squarely at the four men.
THROUGH THE CAMERA
Black-and-white video, very WIDE ANGLE HIGH SHOT, of the
four motionless men below goggling up at the lens. Smoke
plumes from the General's cigarette.
PANCAKE:
Huh. Looks like an Ikegami.
He slips on his reading glasses as he gets a leg up on a
shelf just below the camera and hoists himself. He peers in
at the lens.
THROUGH THE LENS
Clark looming into EXTREME CLOSE SHOT.
PANCAKE:
...Oh yeah. Mm-hm. I'm not sure
whether it's broadcasting...
NORMAL PERSPECTIVE
PANCAKE:
...Um-hm... No...
He is fingering the back of the camera.
PANCAKE:
...Hard wire...
Down below, Gawain looks at the wire snaking along the seam
of wall and ceiling. At the opposite corner it travels down
the joint of the two walls.
He traces its path down and then across one wall at chair-
rail height towards the door. The other men follow in an
anxious herd as he traces one finger along it.
Just before reaching the vault door the wire goes through
the wall in a hole finished off with a grommet. Gawain goes
out the vault door...
INT. CASINO - SERVICE HALL - DAY
...and picks up the line where it emerges on the other side,
travels down to the joint of wall and floor, and then
continues along the floor. Gawain follows it and the other
He traces it anxiously down the hall in a hunched lope. The
other men scuttle behind into...
INT. CASINO - MONITOR ROOM - DAY
The wire winds around into the room, back up to chair-rail
height, along one wall, behind some cabinetry which Gawain
hurries past to find it again on the far side, and then down
to a video recorder.
It is not, however, hooked up to the video recorder: its
pronged end swings loose just by where it would be plugged
in.
Inside the video recorder is a casette, which Gawain ejects.
The men crowd to look over his shoulder as he examines it:
"Shevann's Schvanz".
There is a pile of other videos by the monitor: "Charlayne
and the Chocolate Factory," "Big Dick Blaque's Big Night
Out," "Lemme Tell Ya 'Bout Black Chicks," "Anus & Andy."
Just next to the pile is an old bowl of Kocoa Krispies.
The General climbs into the tunnel with a garbage bagful of
money, followed by Lump, likewise encumbered. Lump hands
back out a satchel to Gawain, who sets it on the vault floor
by the hole. From the way he handles it, it is quite heavy.
Pancake, also with a bag of money, is getting ready to climb
in:
PANCAKE:
Look, I didn't choose to have IBS--
GAWAIN:
Shut the f*** up!
Lump hands Gawain a smaller, lighter satchel which he likewise
sets on the floor.
PANCAKE:
There's no cure, you know. Only
control. Lifelong condition. Not
complaining, just fact. And I did
meet Mountain.
GAWAIN:
Grab your bag and get in that f***ing
hole!
EXT. CHURCH - DAY
Mrs. Munson is leaving, with singing still audible from the
service that continues inside.
INT. MUNSON HOUSE - CELLAR - DAY
We are looking from inside the tunnel towards its mouth,
where the Professor stoops slightly to peer in, anxiously
dry-washing his hands.
A REVERSE shows the hunched-over men scuttling along the
tunnel towards us, holding large garbage sacks.
DORR:
Welcome back, gentlemen, mission
accomplished I see. I am so very
very delighted...
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"The Ladykillers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_ladykillers_891>.
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