The Making of 'The Big Lebowski' Page #2

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Pope John.

..in fact, he metprivately with the President,

though unfortunately,

There wasn't enough timefor a photo opportunity.

Oh, Nancy's pretty good.

Oh, wonderful woman.we're very happy

these are ...

oh, those are Mr. Lebowski'schildren, so to speak.

Different mothers, huh?

Racially, pretty cool.

They're not literallyhis children.

They're the littleLebowski Urban Achievers,

Inner-city childrenof promise

but withoutthe necessary means for

necessary means fora higher education.

So Mr. Lebowskiis committed

to sending allof them to college.

Excuse me.

Thank you. Thank you.

Far out.

Think he's got roomfor one more?

You neverwent to college.

Please,don't touch that.

Yeah, no, I did,but, you know,

I spent mostof my time, um,

occupying variousadministration buildings,

smoking a lotof thai stick,

breaking intothe R.O.T.C.,

and bowling.

to tell youthe truth, Brandt,

I don't remembermost of it.

Ok, sir, you're a Lebowski,I'm a Lebowski,

That's terrific.

But I'm very busy,as I imagine you are.

What can Ido for you, sir?

Uh, well, sir,it's,

this rug I have.

It really tiedthe room together.

You told Brandt onthe phone, he told me.

Where do I fit in?

Well, they were

They were lookingfor you, these 2 guys.

I'll say it again.

You told Brandt onthe phone, he told me.

I know what happened.Yes? Yes?

Oh, so you know that

They were tryingto piss on your rug?

Did I urinateon your rug?

You mean, did youpersonally come

and pee on my rug?

Hello! Do youspeak English, son?

Parla usted ingles?

I'll ask you again.Did I urinate on your rug?

No, like I said,Woo peed on my rug.

I just want tounderstand this, sir.

Every time a rugis micturated upon

In this fair city, I haveto compensate the person

Come on, man,

I'm not tryingio scam anybody here.

..you know,I.. was just

You were justlooking for a handout

like every other...

Are you employed,Mr. Lebowski?

Uh, wait, let me

let me explainsomething to you.

I am not Mr. Lebowski.You're Mr. Lebowski.

I'm The Dude. So that'swhat you call me,

You know, thator, his Dudeness,

Or, Duder, or, youknow, el Duderino,

If you're not intothe whole brevity thing.

Are you employed, sir?

Employed?

You don't go outlooking for a job

dressed like that,do you, on a weekday?

Is this a..what day is this?

Well, I do work, sir.

So if you don't mind

No, I do mind.

Uh, The Dude minds.

This will not stand,you know.

This aggressionwill not stand, man.

I mean, your wife owes

My wife is notthe issue here!

I hope thatsomeday my wife

will learn to liveon her allowance,

which is ample,but if she does not,

that is her problem,not mine,

just as the rugis your problem,

just as every bum'slot in life

is his ownresponsibility,

regardless of whohe chooses to blame.

I didn't blame anyonefor the loss of my legs.

Some chinaman took themfrom me in Korea.

But I went outand achieved anyway.

I cannot solveyour problems, sir,

only you can.

Oh, f*** it.

Yes, that's your answer.

That's your answerto everything.

Tattoo iton your forehead.

Your revolution isover, Mr. Lebowski!

Condolences!

The bums lost!

My advice to you is to dowhat your parents did!

Get a job, sir!

The bums will always lose!

Do you hear me,Lebowski?!

The bumswill always lose!

How was your meeting,Mr. Lebowski?

Ok. The old man told me totake any rug in the house.

Well, enjoy,

and perhaps we'll see youagain sometime, Dude.

Yeah, sure, if I'min the neighborhood,

You know, and ...

I need to use the John.

Blow on them.

Go ahead, blow.

You want me to blowon your, toes?

I can't blow that far.

Are you surehe won't mind?

He really doesn'tcare about anything.

He's a nihilist.

Oh, and thatmust be exhausting.

You're not blowing.

Our guest has to be gettingalong, Mrs. Lebowski.

Oh, you're Bunny.

I'll suck your cockfor $1,000.

Wonderful woman.

We're all..we're allvery fond of her.

Very free-spirited.

Brandt can't watch,though,

Or he hasto pay 100.

..that's marvelous.

Uh, I'm just gonnago find a cash machine.

Slamming themtonight.

You guys aredead in the water.

All right!Way to go, Donny!

If you will it,it is no dream.

You're fucking20 minutes late, man.

What the f*** is that?

Theodore Herzel.

The state of Israel.If you will it, Dude,

It is no dream.

What the f*** youtalking about, man?

The carrier. What'sin the f***ing carrier?

Oh, Cynthias dog.

I thinkit's a Pomeranian.

I can't leave himhome alone

or he eatsthe furniture.

I'm watching it

while Cynthiaand Marty Ackerman

are in Hawaii.

You brought a fuckingPomeranian bowling?

What do you mean,"brought it bowling"?

I didn't rent it shoes,

I'm not buying ita f***ing beer,

he's not takingyour f***ing turn, Dude.

Man, if myfucking ex-wife

asked me to take careof her f***ing dog

while she and her boyfriendwent to Honolulu,

I'd tell her togo f*** herself.

Why can't she board it?

First of all, Dude,you don't have an ex.

Secondly, this isa f***ing show dog

with f***ing papers.

You can't board it.It gets upset.

Its hair falls out.

The f***ing doghas f***ing papers.

Over the line!

I'm sorry, Smokey,you were over the line.

That's a foul.

Bullshit.Mark it 8, Dude.

Uh, excuse me, mark itzero. Next frame.

Bullshit, Walter.Mark it 8, Dude.

Smokey, this is not'nam, this is bowling.

There are rules.

Hey, Walter, come on,it's just

Hey, man, it's Smokey.

So his toe slippedover a little.

You know, it'sjust a game, man.

This is a league game.This determines

who entersthe next round-robin.

Am I wrong?

Yeah,but I wasn't

Am I wrong?

Yeah,but I wasn't over.

Give methe marker, Dude.

I'm marking an 8.

Smokey, my friend,

You're enteringa world of pain.

Walter, man.

You markthat frame an 8,

You're enteringa world of pain.

A world of pain.

Look, Dude,this is your partner.

Has the whole worldgone crazy?!

Am I the only onearound here

who gives a shitabout the rules?!

Mark it zero!

They're callingthe cops, man.

Put the piece away.

Mark it zero!

Walter, putthe piece away.

You think I'mfucking around here?

Mark it zero!

All right,it's f***ing zero.

You happy,you crazy f***?

It's a league game,Smoke.

You can't do that, man.

These guys, you know,they're like me.

They're pacifists.

Smokey was aconscientious objector.

You know, Dude,I, myself,

dabbled in pacifismat one point,

not in 'nam,of course.

And you know he's gotemotional problems, man.

You mean,beyond pacifism?

He's fragile,Very fragile.

Huh. I did not know that.

..it's all waterunder the bridge,

and we do enterthe next round-robin.

Am I wrong?

No, you're not wrong.

Am I wrong?

You're not wrong,Walter,

you're just an a**hole!

Ok, then.

We play Quintanaand OBrien next week.

They should be pushovers.

Man, will you just

Just take it easy,man.

You know, that's youranswer for everything, Dude.

And let mepoint out something.

Pacifism is not lookat our current situation

with thatcamelfucker in Iraq.

Pacifism is not somethingto hide behind.

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