The Making of 'The Big Lebowski' Page #5

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Right, but let meexplain something

About the rug.

Do you like sex,Mr. Lebowski?

Excuse me?

Sex. The physical actof love. Coitus.

Do you like it?

I was talkingabout my rug.

You're not interestedin sex?

You mean coitus?

I like it, too.

It's a male mythabout feminists

That we hate sex.

It can be a natural,zesty enterprise.

However, thereare some people

It is called satyriasis in men,nymphomania in women

who engage in it compulsivelyand without joy.

Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski.

These unfortunate soulscannot love

in the true senseof the word.

Our mutual acquaintanceBunny is one of these.

Listen, Maude,

um, I'm sorry if yourstepmother is a nympho,

but, you know,

I don't see what thishas to do with...

Do you have any Kahlua?

Take' a lookat this, sir.

Oh, I know that guy.

He's a nihilist.

Hello. Meine dispatcher says

there's something wrongmitt deine kable.

Yeah, come on in.I'm not really sure

exactly what's reallywrong with the cable.

Zat's why they sent me.I am an expert.

The TV's in here.

You recognize her,of course.

Oh, that'smy friend Shari.

She just came overto use the shower.

The storyis ludicrous.

Meine nommen is Karl.Ich bin expert.

You must be hereto fix the cable.

Lord, you can imaginewhere it goes from here.

He fixes the cable?

Don't be fatuous,Jeffrey.

Little matter to methat this woman chose

to pursue a careerin pornography

nor that she has been"banging" Jackie Treehorn,

to use the parlanceof our times,

however,

I am one of the 2 trusteesof the Lebowski Foundation,

the other being my father.

The Foundation takesyoungsters from watts and

Sh*t, yeah,the achievers.

Little Lebowskiurban achievers, yes,

and proud we areof all of them,

I asked my father abouthis withdrawal of $1 million

from the Foundation account,

and he told meabout this abduction.

But I tell you,it is preposterous.

This compulsive fornicator

is taking my fatherfor the proverbial ride.

Yeah, but my

I'm getting to your rug.

My father and Idon't get along.

He doesn't approveof my lifestyle,

and, needless to say,I don't approve of his.

However, I hardly wish to makemy father's embezzlement

a police matter,

so I'm proposing that youtry to recover the money

from the peopleyou delivered it to.

Well, I could do that.

If you successfully do so,I will compensate you

to the tune of 10%of the recovered sum.

A hundred...

Thousand. Yes.Bones or clams

or whatever you call them.

Yeah, but...

What about my...

Your rug, yes.well, with that money

you can buyany number of rugs

That don't havesentimental value for me.

And I am sorry aboutthat crack on the jaw.

Oh, th-that's fine.That doesn't even...

Here's the name and numberof a doctor

who will look at itfor you.

You will receive no bill.

He's a good man,and thorough.

Th-that's thoughtful,But

Please see him, Jeffrey.

He's a good man,and thorough.

Oh, well...

All right.All right.

So he says, "My wife'sa pain in the ass.

She's always bustin'my friggin' agates.

My daughter's marriedto a real loser bastard,

and I got a rashso bad on my ass

I can't even sit down.

But you know me, I can'tcomplain."

Ah, f***in' a, man.I got a rash, man.

F***in' a.

I gotta tell you,Tone, man,

Earlier in the day, I wasreally feeling shitty, man.

Really downin the dumps.

Lost a little money...

Hey, you know what?forget about it, huh?

Forget about it.

Yeah, f*** it, man.

I can't be worriedabout that sh*t.

Life goes on, man.

Home, sweet home,Mr. L.

Who's your friendin the Volkswagen?

Yeah, he followed ushere.

When did he start foll

What the f***?!

In the limo, you sonof a b*tch. No arguing.

Hey, careful, man.there's a beverage here.

Start talking

and talk fast,you lousy bum.

We've been franticallytrying to reach you, Dude.

Where's my goddamnmoney, you bum?!

Well, we...

They did not

receive the money,you nitwit!

They did not receivethe money!

Her lifewas in your hands!

This is our concern,Dude.

No, man,nothing is f***ed here.

Nothing is f***ed?!

The goddamn plane

Has crashedinto the mountain!

Look, man, come on.

Who are you gonna believe,those guys or...

We dropped offthe damn money.

We?!

The royal we.

You know, the editorial.

I dropped off the moneyexactly as per

Look. Man, I've got certaininformation, all right?

Certain things havecome to light, and...

You know, has itever occurred to you

that instead of,you know, running around,

blaming me, given thenature of all this new sh*t,

this could bea lot more, ...

.. complex?

I mean, it might not bejust such a simple,

You know?

What in God'sholy name

Are you blatheringabout?

Well, I'll tell you whatI'm blathering about.

I've got information, man.

New sh*t has come to light.

And ... sh*t, man...

She kidnapped herself.

Well, sure, man.

Look at it. You know,a young trophy wife

In the parlanceof our times, you know

She .. owesmoney all over town,

Including to knownpornographers.

And that's cool.that-that's cool.

I'm saying,she needs money, man.

And... you know,

of course they're gonna saythey didn't get it,

becauseshe wants more, man.

She's gotta feed the monkey.I mean...

Hasn't that ever occurredto you, man?

No, Mr. Lebowski,

it had not occurredto me.

That had not occurredto us, Dude.

Well, ok, you know,

you guys aren't privyto all the new sh*t, so...

..you know. But...

..that's what youthat's what you pay me for.

Speaking of which,do you think that you could,

give me my 20,000 in cash?

My concern is..and I gottacheck with my accountant

but this might bump meinto a higher tax,

Brandt...

Give himthe envelope.

Oh, well, if you've alreadygot the check made out,

Th-that's cool.

We received thisthis morning.

Since you havefailed to achieve,

even in the modest taskwhich was your charge,

since you havestolen my money,

since you have unrepentantlybetrayed my trust...

I have no choice

but to tell these bums to dowhatever is necessary

to recover their moneyfrom you, Jeffrey Lebowski.

And with Brandtas my witness,

I will tell you this:

Any further harmvisited upon Bunny

will be visited tenfoldupon your head.

By god, sir, I will notabide another toe.

That wasn't her toe, Dude.

Whose toe was it,Walter?

How the f*** should I know?

I do know that nothingabout it indicates

Man, the nailpolish, Walter.

Fine, Dude.

As if it's impossibleto get some nail polish,

Apply itTo someone else's toe.

Someone else's

Where the fuckare they gonna get

You want a toe?I can get you a toe.

Believe me,there are ways, Dude.

You don't wanna knowabout it, believe me.

Hell, I can get you a toeby 3:00 this afternoon,

with nail polish.

These f***in' amateurs.

They send us a toe,

we're supposed to shitourselves with fear.

Now, the point is

They're gonna kill her,Walter,

And then they're gonnakill me.

Dude...

That's...

That's just the stresstalking, man.

Now so far we havewhat appears to me

To be a series ofvictimless crimes.

What about the toe?

Forget aboutthe f***ing toe!

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