The Making of 'The Big Lebowski' Page #7

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# Tambourines and elephantsare playing in the band #

# Wondrous apparition #

# Provided by magician #

# Doo doo doo #

# Lookin' out my back door #

# Tambourinesand elephants #

# Are playing in the band #

# Won't you take a rideon the flyin' spoon? #

# Doo doo doo #

# Bother me tomorrow #

# Today I'll buyno sorrows #

# Doo doo doo #

# Lookin' out my back door #

He livesin north Hollywood,

on Radford, nearthe in-n-out burger.

The in-n-out burger'son Camrose.

Nearthe in-n-out burger.

Those are good burgers,Walter.

Shut the f*** up,Donny.

The kid is inninth grade, Dude,

And his father isAre you ready for this?

His father isArthur Digby Sellers.

Who the f*** is that?

Who the f*** isArthur Digby Sellers?

Ever heard of a little showcalled branded, Dude?

Yes, I know

All but one man diedthere at bitter creek?

I know the f***ing show,Walter. So what?

F***ing Arthur Digby Sellerswrote 156 episodes, Dude.

The bulkof the series.

Not exactlya lightweight.

And yet his sonis a f***ing dunce.

Anyway, we'll go thereafter the what-have-you,

we'll brace the kid,should be a pushover.

We'll be nearthe in-n-out burger.

Shut the f*** up,Donny!

We'll go out there,we'll brace the kid,

He should be a pushover.

We'll get that f***ing$1 million back

If he hasn't spent italready.

A million f***ing clams.

And yes, we'll be nearthe ..

In-n-out.

Some burgers,

some beers,

a few laughs.

Our f***ing troublesare over, Dude.

Oh, f*** me, man!

That kid's already spentall the money, man!

New 'vette?Hardly, Dude.

I'd say he still has960, $970,000 left,

depending on the options.

Wait in the car, Donny.

Yes?

Pilar?

My nameis Walter Sobchak.

This is my associateJeffrey Lebowski.

Um, we came to talkabout little Larry.

May we come in?

Yes, yes.

Thank you.

That's him, Dude.

And a good day to you,Sir!

..sit down, please.

Larry, sweetie,that man is here!

Is he...

Does he still write?

He has health problems.

Sir, I justwant to say ...

that we're both..

on a personal level...

Really enormous fans.

Branded, especiallythe early episodes,

was truly a sourceof inspiration

Sweetie, sit down!

This manis the police.

we didn't wantto give the impression

that we were policeexactly.

We're hopingit won't be necessary

to call the police.

But that's upto little Larry here.

Isn't it, Larry?

Is this your homework,Larry?

Is this your homework,Larry?

Look, man

Dude, please.

Is this your homework,Larry?

Just ask himabout the car, man.

Is this yours, Larry?

Is this your homework,Larry?

Is that your carout front?

Is this your homework,Larry?

We know it'shis f***ing homework!

Where's the f***ing money,you little brat?

Look, Larry...

Have you ever heardof Vietnam?

You're enteringa world of pain, son.

we know that this isyour homework.

We know that you stolethe car.

And the f***ing money!

And the f***ing money.

And we know that thisis your homework.

We're gonna cutyour dick off, Larry.

You're killingyour father, Larry.

All right.

This is pointless.

It's time for plan "b."

You might want to watch outthat front window, Larry.

Son, this is what happens

when you f*** a strangerin the ass!

Little language problemhere.

The little prick'sstonewalling me.

What...are you doing,man?

What are you doing?

Here you go, Larry.

You see what happens?

You see what happens,Larry?

You see what happens?

This is what happens

when you f*** a strangerin the ass, Larry!

This is what happens,Larry!

You see what happens,Larry?

You see what happens

when you f*** a strangerin the ass?

This is what happens.

You see what happens,Larry?

You see what happens,Larry?

Do you see what happens,Larry,

when you f*** a strangerin the ass?

This is what happens,Larry!

No!

This is what happens,Larry!

This is what happens

when you f*** a stranger

What the fuckare you doing, man?!

Stop it!

I just boughtthat f***ing car last week!

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

I'm gonnafuckin' kill you!

I just boughtthe f***ing car last week!

I'll kill yourfucking car, man!

No! No! Hey! Hey!That's not his hey!

God damn it!

You like that?

I kill your f***ing car!

I accept your apology.

No. I just..

Want to handle itby myself from now on.

That has nothingto do with it.

Yes, the car made it home.

You're calling me at home.

it did not look like...

Larry was about to crack.

Well,that's your perception.

You know, Walter,you're right.

There isan unspoken message here.

It's f*** you!

Leave me the f*** alone!

Yeah, I'll be at practice.

Pin your diapers on,Lebowski.

Jackie Treehornwants to see you.

Jackie Treehorn knowswhich Lebowski you are.

Jackie Treehorn wants to seethe deadbeat Lebowski.

You're not dealingwith morons here.

Hello, Dude.

Thanks for coming.

I'm Jackie Treehorn.

This is quite a padyou got here, man.

Completely unspoiled.

What's your drink, Dude?

White Russian.Thanks.

White Russian.

How's the smut business,Jackie?

I wouldn't know,Dude.

I deal in publishing,

entertainment,

political advocacy.

Oh. Which one'sLogjamming?

Yes, regrettably,it's true.

Standards have fallenin adult entertainment.

It's video, Dude.

Now that we're competingwith those amateurs,

We can't afford to investin little extras, like story,

production value,

feelings.

You know, people forget

that the brain isthe biggest erogenous zone.

On you maybe.

Of course, you have to takethe good with the bad.

New technology permits usto do very exciting things

In interactiveerotic software.

Wave of the future,Dude.

Well...

I still jerk offmanually.

Of course you do.

I can see you're anxious

for me to get to the point.

Well, here it is, Dude.

Where's Bunny?

Well, I thought youmight know that, man.

Why would I?

She only ran off

to get away from thatrather sizable debt to me.

No. She didn't run off.She's been..

I've heard that kidnappingstory, so save it.

I know you're mixed upin all this, Dude,

And I don't care what you'retrying to get from the husband.

That's your business.

All I'm saying is...

I want mine.

Yeah, right, man.

I mean, there area lot of, um,

Facets to this, a lotof interested parties.

Excuse me.

Where's that?

All right.

Excuse me.

Forgive me.

No problemo, man.

If I can findyour money...

Uh, what's in itfor The Dude?

Well, of course,there's that to discuss.

Uh, refill?

Yeah. The popeshit in the woods?

That all right?

Done, Jackie.

Yeah. I dig the wayyou do business, man.

Your moneyis being held

By a kid namedLarry Sellers.

He livesin north Hollywood,

On Radford ...

by thein-n-out burger.

A f***in' brat,but I'm sure your goons

can get it off him.I mean, he's 15.

Flunking social studies.

So, if you could just ..

Write me a check for my10% of half a million...

I'll go out and mingle

You mix a hellof a Caucasian, Jackie.

A 15-year-old kid.

Is thissome sort of a joke?

No, no joke.

No funny stuff, Jackie.the kid's got it.

Hi, fellas.

The kid just wanteda car.

All The Dude ever wantedwas his rug back.

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