The Making of 'The Big Lebowski' Page #8

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I'm not greedy.

It would really...

Tie the room together.

Darkness washed over The Dude.

Darker thana black steer's took us

On a moonless prairie night.

There was no bottom.

# What condition my condition was in #

# I woke up this morningwith the sun down #

# Shinin' in him #

# I found my mindin a brown paper bag #

# But then #

# I tripped on a cloudand fell 8 miles high #

# I tore my mindon a jagged sky #

# I just dropped in #

# To see what conditionmy condition was in #

# Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah #

# What conditionmy condition was in #

# I pushed my soulin a deep dark hole #

# And thenI followed it in #

# I watched myselfcrawlin' out #

# As I was crawlin' in #

# I got up so tight #

# I couldn't unwind #

# I saw so much #

# I broke my mind #

# I just dropped in #

# To see what conditionmy condition was in #

# Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah #

# What conditionmy condition was in #

# Someonepainted echoes on #

# In big black letters #

# On the dead inside #

# I kept my footon the gas #

# As I left the road #

# Blew out my mind #

# 8 miles out of Memphis,and I got no spare #

# 8 miles straightened updowntown somewhere #

# I just dropped in #

# To see what conditionmy condition was in #

# I said,I just dropped in #

# To see what conditionmy condition was in #

But the charge was true

and they sayhe ran away

branded!

Is this your only I.D.?

I know my rights,man.

You don't know sh*t,Lebowski.

I wanta f***ing lawyer, man.

I want...

Bill Kunstler, man.

Or Ron Coobie.

Mr. Treehorn tells us

that he had to eject youfrom his garden party,

that you were drunkand abusive.

Mr. Treehorn treats objectslike women, man.

Mr. Treehorn drawsa lot of water in this town.

You don't draw sh*t,Lebowski.

Now we got a nice quietlittle beach community here,

and I aim to keep itnice and quiet.

So let memake something plain.

I don't like yousucking around,

bothering our citizens,Lebowski.

I don't likeyour jerk-off name,

I don't likeyour jerk-off face,

I don't likeyour jerk-off behavior,

And I don't like you...

Jerk-off.

Do I make myself clear?

I'm sorry.I wasn't listening.

F***ing fascist!

Stay out of Malibu,Lebowski!

Stay out of Malibu,deadbeat!

Keep your ugly fuckinggold-bricking ass

out ofmy beach community.

# I want to sleep with youin the desert tonight #

# With a billion starsall around #

Jesus...

Man, could youchange the channel?

F*** you, man!if you don't like my music,

get your own f***ing cab!

I had a really rough

I'll pull overand kiss your ass out.

Man, come on,I had a rough night,

And I hatethe f***ing eagles, man.

Out of my f***ing cab!

# Devil-may-care #

# And I'm the devilwith love to spare #

# So viva, Las Vegas #

# Viva, Las Vegas #

Jeffrey.

Maude?

Love me.

Uh, that's my robe.

Tell me aboutyourself, Jeffrey.

Well, not muchto tell.

I, um, I was oneof the authors

of the port HuronStatement.

The originalPort Huron Statement.

Not the compromisedsecond draft.

Uh, and then I,

you ever hearof the Seattle 7?

That was me.

And, um,the 6 other guys.

Um, and thena music business briefly.

Yeah, a roadiefor Metallica.

Speed of sound tour.

Bunch of a**holes.

Uh, and then,you know,

A little of this,a little of that.

My career's slowed downa little lately.

What do you dofor recreation?

Oh, the usual.Bowl, drive around.

The occasionalacid flashback.

What happenedto your house?

Oh, Jackie Treehorntrashed the place.

He thought I hadyour father's money.

He got me out of the waywhile he looked for it.

Cocktail?

No, thanks.

It's not myfather's money.

It's theFoundation's.

Why did he thinkyou have it?

And who does?

Oh, Larry Sellers,this high school kid.

Real f***ing brat.

You know, this is a verycomplicated case, Maude.

Lotta ins, lotta outs.

You know, fortunately,

I'm adhering toa pretty strict,

drug regiment to keepmy mind, you know,

Uh, limber, you know.

Very f***ing closeto your father's money.

I keep telling you it'sthe Foundation's money.

Father doesn't have any.

What are you talking about?he's f***ing loaded.

No, no, the wealthwas all mother's.

No, he runs stuff,

We did let him run oneof the companies briefly,

But he didn't dovery well at it.

No, he's, you know.

No, he helps administerthe charities now,

and I give hima reasonable allowance.

He has no moneyof his own.

I know how he likesto present himself.

Father's weaknessis vanity.

Hence, the slut.

Uh, do you think he,

What is that, yoga?

It increases the chancesof conception.

Increases?

Well, yes.

What did you thinkthis was all about?

Fun and games?

I want a child.

Ok, yeah, ok,but let me

Let me explainsomething about The Dude.

Uh, look, Jeffrey,

I don't wanta partner.

In fact, I don'twant the father

to be someoneI have to see socially

or who'll haveany interest

in raisingthe child himself.

Oh, so that doctor

Exactly. Now, whathappened to your face?

Did Jackie TreehornDo that as well?

No, it was the chiefof police of Malibu.

A real reactionary.

So, your father...

Oh, yeah, I get it.

Oh, man, my thinkingabout this case

had become very uptight.Yeah, your father.

Jeffrey, what areyou talking about?

Walter, if you're there,

pick up the f***ing phone,man, come on, Walter.

Pick it up, man,this is an emergency.

Come on, enough--Dude?

Yeah, listen, Walter,I'm at my place.

I need you to comepick me up.

I can't drive, Dude,It's Erev Shabbos.

What?Erev Shabbos.

I can't drive.Man!

I'm not even supposedto pick up the phone

unless it'san emergency.

This isa f***ing emergency.

I understand. That's whyI picked up the phone.

Walter, you f***,

we gotta goto Pasadena, man.

Come pick me up or Im offthe f***ing bowling team.

Get out of thatfucking car, man.

Get out of thatfucking car!

Get the f*** outof the car, man.

Get out ofthe f***ing

Who the fuckare you, man?

Easy, man.Relax, man.

No physical harmintended.

Who the fuckare you?

Why are youfollowing me around?

Come on, fuckhead.

Relax, man.I'm a brother Seamus.

Brother Seamus?

Like an Irish monk?

What the f*** are youtalking about?

My name is Da Fino.

I'm a private snoop,like you, man.

A dick, man.

And let me tell yousomething. I dig your work.

Playing one sideagainst the other.

In bed with everybody.Fabulous stuff, man.

I'm not..f*** it, man.

Just stay away frommy f***ing lady friend.

Hey, hey, Im not messingwith your special lady.

She's notmy special lady.

She's my fuckinglady friend.

I'm just helpingher conceive, man.

Hey, man, I'm not

Who are youworking for?

Lebowski?

Jackie Treehorn?

The Knutsens.

The--who the fuckare the Knutsens?

The Knutsen's. It'sa wandering daughter job.

Bunny Lebowski, man.

Her real nameis Fawn Knutsen.

Her parents want her back.

Jesus f***ing Christ.

Crazy, huh? Ran awayabout a year ago.

The Knutsens told meI should show her this

when I found her.

It's the family farm.

It's outside ofMoorhead, Minnesota.

They think it'llmake her homesick.

Oh, boy.How are you gonna

keep 'emdown on the farm

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