The Making of 'The Big Lebowski' Page #9

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once they've seenKarl Hungus?

She's beenkidnapped, Da Fino.

Oh, I don't know.maybe not,

But she's definitelynot around.

Hey, maybe you and mecould pool our resources.

Trade information.Professional courtesy.

Compeers, you knowwhat I mean?

I get it.F*** off, Da Fino.

And stay awayfrom my special

From my fuckinglady friend, man.

Ze lingonberrypancakes.

Lingonberry pancakes.

Sree pigs in blanket.

She has lingonberrypancakes.

I mean we totallyfucked it up, man.

We f***ed up his payoff,

we got the kidnappersall pissed off,

And Lebowski, you know,he yelled at me a lot,

But he didn'tdo anything?

Well, sometimesit's a cathartic

No, no, I'm saying ifhe knows Im a f***-up,

why does heleave me in charge

Of getting his wife back?

Because he doesn't fuckingwant her back, man.

He's had enough.He no longer digs her.

It's all a show.

Ok, but then, whydoesn't he give a sh*t

About his million bucks?

I mean, he knows we neverhanded off his briefcase,

but he never askedfor it back.

The million bucks wasnever in the briefcase.

The briefcase wasfucking empty, man.

The a**hole was hopingthat they would kill her.

You threw out a ringerfor a ringer.

Ok, but how doesthis all add up

To an emergency?

I'm saying I see whatyou're getting at, Dude,

He kept the money.

My point is,

here we are,it's Shabbos,

the Sabbath, whichI'm allowed to break

only if it's a matterof life or death.

Will you come off it,Walter?

You're not evenfucking Jewish, man.

What the f*** areyou talking about?

You're fuckingPolish-catholic.

What the f*** areyou talking about?

I converted whenI married Cynthia.

Come on, Dude.Yeah, yeah.

You know this.

And 5 f***ing years ago,you were divorced.

So what are saying?When you get divorced,

You turn inyour library card?

You get a new license?You stop being Jewish?

This isthe driveway, huh?

I'm Jewish asfucking Tevye.

Man, you know,it's all a part

of your sickCynthia thing.

Man, taking careof her f***ing dog.

Going to herfucking synagogue.

You're living inthe f***ing past.

from Mosesto Sandy Koufax,

you're goddamn right

I'm living inthe f***ing past!

What the hellhappened?

Where was she, man?

Visiting friends of hersin palm springs.

She just picked upand left.

Never botheredto tell us.

Well, I guess the fuckingnihilist knew where she was.

Jesus, Dude, she nevereven kidnapped herself.

Who is this gentleman,Dude?

Who am I? I'ma f***ing veteran.

He shouldn't goin there, Dude.

He's very angry.

Hello, man.

So, she's back,no thanks to you.

Where's the fuckingmoney, Lebowski?

A million bucksfrom f***ing needy

Little urbanachievers!

You are scum, man!

Who the hell is he?

Who am I? Who am I?

I'm the guythat's gonna kick

Your phony goldbrickingass! That's who I am.

Man, we know the briefcasewas f***ing empty.

We know you kept the millionbucks for yourself.

You have your story,I have mine.

I say I entrustedthe money to you,

And you stole it.

As if we would everdream of taking

your bullshitmoney!

You thought that Bunnyhad been kidnapped,

and you werefucking glad, man.

You could use it as an excuseto make some money disappear.

All you needed was a sapto pin it on.

You just met me.You human paraquat!

You figured, oh,here's a loser, you know.

A deadbeat.somebody the square community

Won't give a sh*t about.

Well, aren't you?

Well, yeah, but

Get out, both of you.

Look at thatfucking phony, Dude.

Pretending to be afucking millionaire.

Out of this house now,you bums!

Let me tell yousomething else.

I've seen a lot ofspinals, Dude,

And this guy'sa fake.

A fuckinggoldbricker.

Stay away from me,mister!

This guyfucking walks.

I've never beenmore certain

of anythingin my life.

You stay away from me!

Walter, for Christ's sake,man, he's a cripple.

Come on, come on.

Get away from me!

Put him down, man!

Yeah, I'll puthim down, Dude!

Rauss! Achtung, baby!

Come on, man, help meput him back in his chair.

Sure, you'll seesome tank battles.

But fighting in desertis very different

from fightingin canopy jungle.

I mean 'nam wasa foot soldier's war.

Whereas, this thingshould, you know,

should bea piece of cake.

I mean, I hadan M16, Jacko.

Not an Abramsfucking tank.

Me and Charlie,eyeball to eyeball.

Yeah.

That's f***in' combat.

The man in theblack pajamas, Dude.

Worthy f***in'adversary.

Who's inpajamas, Walter?

Shut the f*** up,Donny.

Whereas, what wehave here...

Lots of fig-eaters wearingtowels on their heads,

trying to find reverseon a soviet tank.

This .. is nota worthy

Hey!

What's thisday of rest sh*t?

What's this bullshit!

I don't f***in' care!

It don't matterto Jesus.

But you notfooling me, man.

You might fool the fucksin the league office,

but you don'tfool Jesus.

It's bush leaguepsyche-out stuff.

Laughable, man. Ha ha!

I would have f***ed youin the ass Saturday.

I'll f*** you in the assNext Wednesday instead.

Whoo! You got a dateWednesday, baby.

He's cracking.

The whole concept of Asia.

I mean, many learned menhave disputed this,

but in the 14th century.the rabahm, he

Well, theyfinally did it.

They killedmy f***ing car.

We want some money,Lebowski.

Ja, otherwise,we kill the girl.

Ja, it seemsyou have forgotten

Our little deal,Lebowski.

You don't have thefucking girl, dipshit.

We know you never did.

Are these the Nazis,Walter?

No, Donny, these menare nihilists.

There's nothingto be afraid of.

Vee don't care. Veestill want the money,

Lebowski, orwe'll f*** you up.

F*** you.F*** the 3 of yous.

No, without a hostage,there is no ransom.

That's what ransom is.

Those are the f***ing rules.

His girlfriendgave up her toe.

She zought we'd begetting $1 million.

It's not fair.

Fair? Who's the fuckingnihilist around here?

You bunch offucking crybabies.

Cool it, Walter.Hey, look, pal,

There never wasany money.

The big Lebowski gaveme an empty briefcase,

So take it upwith him, man.

Yeah, and I would likemy undies back.

Are these guys gonnahurt us, Walter?

No, Donny, thesemen are cowards.

Ok, so we take zemoney you haf on you

And we calls iteven.

F*** you.

Hey, no, come on,Walter, come on.

We're ending thisthing cheap, man.

No, what's mine is mine.

Oh, come on, Walter.

No funny stuff.

All right,all right, I got,

Uh, 4 bucks,almost 5.

I got $18.

What'smine is mine.

We f*** you up, man.We takes the money.

Come and get it.

We f*** you up.

Show me whatyou got, nihilist.

I f*** you.

Walter, come on,he's got a sword.

F***ing dipshit witha 9-toed woman.

F*** you!F*** you!

I f*** you up!

Take it easy, man.

Here's the $4.00.

I got a f***ing ball, man.

Anti-semite!

I f*** you in ze ass.

I f*** youin ze ass.

I f*** you!I f*** you!

We got a man down, Dude.

God, they shot him,man.

No, Dude.

They shot Donny?

There weren'tany shots fired.

It's a heart attack.

Call the medics, Dude.

I'd go myself, but Impumping blood. Might pass out.

Rest easy, good buddy,you're doing fine.

We got helpchoppering in.

Hello, gentlemen.You are the bereaved?

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