The Making of 'The Pagemaster' Page #2

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Hm.

It's a library card.

I'm a book, honey. I can read.

(CLEARS THROAT) Now tell me,

what's the one thing you wish for

more than anything in the world?

Anything in the world?

I-I'd like to get out of here.

I'll grant your wish, child. But you must

do me one small kindness in return.

You gotta check me outta here!

That's it? OK, let's go!

Do I have to click my heels or something?

(LAUGHS) Honey, you in the wrong story.

That was a close one, lad. Lad?

Hold on there, missis! The lad's with me!

- You know that short story?

- Yeah, he's adventure.

Honey, that's what they all say.

I heard that!

I'll have you know I'm a classic!

Mm-hm. A classic... misprint.

Why, you old sea serpent! I'll rip out

your pages and use them for... Oh, no!

Do something!

Hm.

(ADVENTURE YELLS)

Oops! (LAUGHS) I forgot. My wand doesn't

always work outside the fantasy section.

You mean you can't wish us to the exit?

(GROANS) That overdue shrew's

never even seen the exit.

More than you have, shorty!

In fact, the exit's just beyond

my fantasy section. Hmph!

Then what are ye doing in these parts?

There a witches' convention

around here, maybe?

Look, I was misshelved. (LAUGHS)

But that's over, now that young Prince

Charming here has come to check me out.

My good eye, he is.

The lad's checking me out!

Come on, boy, we're wasting time

chumming off this dinghy.

It's on to the exit for us!

If he thinks the exit's in that direction,

you know it's got to be in this one!

Don't listen to her, mate.

She's not sailing with a full crew!

Ah-ah-ah! (SNEEZES)

Fantasy! She's a bloody nightmare.

Let's leave him. He doesn't

even know where we are now!

Bilge water! Of course

I know where we are! We're...

Hound of the Baskervilles.

We're in Baskervilles.

Have a look-see!

Hm. Huh?

- (BARKS/GROWLS)

- (SCREAMS)

Hey, this way! Through here!

Nice doggy! Good doggy!

- Hurry!

- (GRUNTS)

(BARKS)

(ALL PANTING)

(SIGHS)

Oh, baby.

Are we still in the library?

Aye, lad. The horror section.

It looks pretty scary.

That it does. Just stay close to me and...

and you got nothing to worry about.

(SARCASTICALLY) Mm-hm.

There it is! The exit! (PANTS)

(SIGHS)

Looks like the only way to reach the exit

is through that there house.

No way I'm going in there.

It's your only chance, boy.

It's just a house.

Yeah, but 70 percent of all accidents

are household-related.

Dr. Jekyll. Mr. Hyde. Must be a duplex.

Whoa!

Go ahead, matey.

I'm... I'm right behind ye.

(GASPS)

Well? Ring the bell.

(PANTS)

(DOORBELL CHIMES)

Ohh!

- Good catch!

- Here, take it.

Isn't he sweet? (MAKES KISSING SOUNDS)

Oh, I scared you.

I'm sorry!

You mustn't judge a book by its cover.

Look, he's smiling!

(LAUGHING)

That's a smile?

All right, teatime's over.

Let's start navigating this house.

Huh? No, wait! Don't go in there!

It's scary inside!

Ha! I ain't afeared of nothing!

I'm afraid.

Of what?

Of, of... (YELLS)

And... Aah!

And... (MAKES CREEPY NOISE)

And... (IMITATES WOMAN SCREAMING)

Uh, I know how you feel.

Horror always has sad endings.

I come from a world of happy endings.

Why don't you come with us?

Yeah! And maybe you could

help us through the house.

Through the house? Hm.

Uh.

You can do it.

'Kay.

Friend?

(GULPS)

(GASPS) Oops!

Come on!

(SINGS INDISTINCTLY)

(GASPS)

Hm?

(MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)

(SHIVERS)

He-hello?

A-anybody home?

(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

- (ALL GASP)

- What was that?

(SCREECHES) Nevermore!

Get me out of here!

May I assist you in some way?

Oh. Hello there, Mr?

Doctor. Dr. Jekyll.

Well, sir, we did ring the bell.

It's all my fault. I was trying to help them

find their way

to the other side of the house.

The other side?

My boy, I derive no pleasure in telling you

that you are in extreme danger.

- Danger?

- Even as we speak.

Lurking in this very room,

waiting to strike, are forces of evil.

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

Wait for me! Wait for me!

Every man is possessed

of both good... and evil.

(SUAVELY) Oh, yes.

But enough of that.

Anyone care for a drink?

Hm?

Ah.

I'll have a go with you, doc.

Ooh!

Stay back! This is a man's drink!

(LAUGHS) Can I have the olive?

Oh!

Uh-oh.

Now look what you've done!

Whoa!

Ooh!

No! No, no! Don't drink it! Don't, don't!

(GASPS)

(YELLING)

(MOANING)

(ALL GASP)

(MOANS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

Dr... Jekyll?

Dr. J?

My name is... Mr. Hyde!

(ALL GASP/SCREAM)

Easy, there!

(YELPS)

The stairs, mateys, the stairs!

Ahh!

Help, master! Don't leave me!

This is no way to treat

a library book. Sanctuary!

Sanctuary!

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

Sanctuary!

Honey, you got to help him!

But I... I...

Oh!

At least this wand is good for something.

Come on!

Which way?

Down. Definitely down.

No, up. Definitely up! Up, up, up!

Come on!

(GASPING)

What's going on?

Ghost stories.

(SCREAMING)

Ha ha!

Get me outta here!

Aah!

Close the door!

Whoa!

Down there? I... I can't.

Come on, boy! Even books have spines.

Come, master!

I can do this. I can do this.

Aah!

Uhh! Uhh!

(GROWLS)

PAGEMASTER'S VOICE: Reach deep

within yourself, Richard.

Seize the courage.

Uhh! Uhh!

Whoa!

- Yay! You did it! You did it!

- Grand, boy!

(LAUGHING)

Hooray, hooray, hooray.

Wow.

(CHUCKLES)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Do ya smell it? Breathe it in, mateys.

Ha ha!

The land of adventure!

Look! There's the exit!

(ALL CHUCKLING)

(CHUCKLING)

Hey! Wait for me!

Ha ha ha!

Home, sweet home!

There's only room for one up here.

From now on, it'll be smooth sailin'!

(LAUGHING)

What are ya laughin' at?

(LAUGHING)

Whoa!

Uhh!

A boat!

Is it... safe?

I wrote the book on sailin'.

In fact, I am the book on sailin'.

I'm impressed.

(LAUGHING)

We're sinking. We're going down!

Somebody do something!

(WAILING)

Thank you.

Shove off, lads!

(ACCORDION PLAYING)

RICH:
Jeez, the water looks kind of choppy.

Maybe we should've stayed

back there where it was safe.

(PLAYS DISCORDANT NOTE)

Whalin' men.

(MEN GRUNTING)

ADVENTURE:
It's Cap'n Ahab, it is!

Another guy with a peg leg.

Mm-hm. Seems to be

a fashion statement around here.

- Did you see it?

- RICH:
See what?

The devil of the deep. The white whale.

- Hm?

- Moby Dick!

Thar she blows!

I grin at thee, thou grinning whale!

(GASPS) He's possessed!

He's insane!

He's my kind of guy!

(GRUNTING)

Look!

It's headed straight for them!

Thou damned whale!

Thus, I give up the spear!

(GROWLS)

So, you think I scared it?

He shouldn't swim right after eating,

you know. He'll get cramps.

Where did he go?

Aah!

Row! Row for your lives!

(SCREAMING)

(COUGHING)

Guys! Where are you?

(PANTING)

(SCREAMING)

(SPUTTERING)

Adventure? Boy, am I ever glad to see you.

Huh?

All right, all right!

Where's Horror?

And Fantasy?

Where are they?

I searched for 'em

as much as I could, mate.

I'm afraid... I'm afraid they've gone

below with Davy Jones.

No. It can't be.

You guys are the only friends I've ever had.

(SNIFFLING)

She's a cruel sea, lad.

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