The Making of 'The Sweetest Thing' Page #6

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- Says so on the bag.

What kind of marketing brainiac

puts "anal leakage" on his product?

How can they even sell that crap?

- What time is your flight?

- 9:
30.

I can't believe you're going to Costa Rica.

Your female problems are over with.

- Hope so.

- They are.

You know what I hear about Costa Rican women?

- For five pesos...

- No, Rog.

They take your chimichanga and your pequito...

- No, seor.

- Listen to me!

All I'm saying is,

make nice with the concierge, okay?

- You all right, Vera?

- Couldn't be better.

- Thank you so much.

- Where do you want it?

Put her down right here.

Since you're going away,

do you want to be on our mailing list?

Yes, ma'am. I'd love to. Thank you.

I've been trying to get us off

that mailing list since 1982.

Relax.

This is the hottest chick in this store

and I caught her trying to escape.

Very strange.

Sweetie, Christina, what's going on?

What happened?

I came to just eat my cookie

and make a phone call, but...

You didn't want to eat the cookies? What?

Just read this.

"Commandment number nine:

Thou shalt love what's possible."

Honey, we have gone over this.

You did not know the guy was getting married.

It's all right. He wasn't possible.

Not that one. The next one. Commandment ten.

- "Thou shalt not fear"?

- Yes. "Thou shalt not fear."

What are you talking about, fear?

What you did was an incredibly brave thing.

You dropped all of your boundaries

and you met this guy halfway.

More than halfway, you went to Somerset.

Guys, it was just another game. Come on.

If he hadn't been getting married,

if he wasn't the groom, what would I've done?

That's right.

I would've done the same old thing.

I would have hesitated. I would have...

...froze up.

I would have kissed him and then ran off.

Give him the wrong phone number.

Hook that fish and just throw him right back.

Jesus.

I'm stuck in a rut.

Big, fat rut.

Guys, I don't want to be that girl anymore.

- I know.

- You know?

I know. None of us do.

Let's go dancing.

So, any chance?

Of what? No, don't even bother.

She's on a mission.

- How is it shaking, ladies?

- No, thank you.

Your body is banging. Your face is...

Neato. Thanks. Neat.

What's going on, hot mama?

Bringing it down. Bringing it up now!

Here it comes, baby. Feel the monkey.

Work the monkey.

The monkey, the monkey, the monkey!

- You're working that monkey.

- You're a really good dancer.

- You have some original moves.

- Thanks, I've been working on it.

- Have me met before?

- A couple of times.

I'm Donny.

Christina.

This is like Sixteen Candles.

I'd love to take you out sometime.

Really? Well, that's nice. I mean...

Give me your card, I'll call you sometime.

Thank you.

You seem like a really nice person.

- Work on the monkey.

- I'll work on the monkey.

Hey, Donny.

- Do you have a pen?

- You bet.

I'm a jerk and I wanted to apologize,

because I didn't plan on calling you.

I'll give you my number so that you can call me...

...because I found out something

that was completely life-changing:

It's okay to take a chance.

Love is crazy and that's what love is,

it's taking a chance.

My girlfriend Courtney and I

went on this crazy ride for a guy.

I went across the state, practically,

to find this guy that I don't even know.

I don't even know you, but here I am,

having this conversation with you.

And I know that if I just take a chance

with you, maybe, I don't know...

Forget it.

What's a guy got to do to get laid?

- Chris?

- Yeah?

Honey?

What?

My God.

What am I going to do?

I think you can handle this one on your own.

It's all good, girl.

Figure this one out. Figure it out. Okay.

What are you doing here?

- I came here to apologize to you.

- For what?

For not telling you I was getting married.

I should have told you that and I didn't.

I'm sorry.

You're the guy that needs the last fling

before your wedding.

No. I'm not that guy.

You spilled my drink and I let you buy me a beer.

That was all there was to it.

We had fun, we talked and that was it.

Right?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I didn't get married.

- What do you mean?

- Judy and I, we called it off.

I hope my... That thing that happened

didn't have anything to do with it.

No, it had nothing to do with that.

We realized we were doing the wrong thing.

Two people should be in love.

But Judy is happy. She's scuba diving in Bali.

She really liked you, too.

Why were you at my wedding?

It was just one of those spontaneous things

my girlfriend and I do.

It was just, really...

It just got screwed up.

I came here tonight because I wanted to see you.

I thought that maybe...

Well, that night that we met...

...I thought there was something,

some feeling I had about us.

I thought that maybe you might feel that way, too.

Is this a mutual thing?

This is not a mutual thing at all.

This is a very stupid thing. I'm stupid.

I should go.

I really apologize for wasting your time.

And I'll go jump off the Golden Gate Bridge now.

Thanks. See you. I'm stupid. That's right.

In fact, that's exactly what I wanted to do.

Yes. Gosh, it's going so well.

I'm not going to be afraid.

Peter?

Sh*t. Peter, wait!

Sh*t.

Come on!

Are you okay?

Yes.

I don't think I handled that too...

I didn't handle it at all. I'm so sorry.

I wanted to find you so that I could tell you...

...that I did come to your wedding

because I wanted to see you again...

...because the feeling is mutual,

and you better be a really good kisser.

That was weak.

- Weak?

- Yeah.

It's okay. You can try again.

You were so much better in my dream.

Hold these.

- I thought this was mutual.

- Oh, my God.

I'm serious. I'll call you, okay?

What? Wait!

Thanks for the flowers. Nice touch.

I'm out of practice! I just woke up!

Unbelievable!

Christina Walters. Yep. I know her.

B*tch. Made my life a living hell.

She tries to pawn me off on her friend.

She calls me a dick.

She hunts me down like a dog

at my own wedding.

Then, when I try to apologize, she's like:

"I don't know you. You're one of hundreds.

I have no feelings for you..."

Is that how I sound?

The movie is starting. Let's go!

F*** Grandma.

Save yourself a buck.

- A girl that you lick.

- Really?

- That you lick.

- A girl that I lick?

Are you all right?

You're watching the credits?

- Chicks freak on this guy.

- You owe me thirty...

Copy that.

Is that what you want?

I think there's always time for a movie montage.

I hope you like how sexy I am.

Okay. I'm not going to be afraid.

I'm not.

It's a very bad rumor. It's a rumor. I'm serious.

Crap.

You really got my ass. It's good.

Cut!

- I look beautiful.

- You look amazing.

- I look beautiful. Thank you.

- You do. Amazing.

We can sit here like this all night.

- I bet you miss Grandma.

- Grandma.

- I'm not bah-jiggity.

- You are so bah-jiggity.

It's Jesus. Look, it's Jesus.

I guess a blowj*b is out of the question?

That is the sweetest thing.

'Bye!

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