The Making of Alan Parker's Film 'The Commitments' Page #6

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- No.

Maybe we could get Deco

to choke on his own vomit!

Lads, it's alive!

Derek! Howayeh doin'!

They don't get many electrocutions

on Saturday night.

It's mostly bottles in the face

and bruised balls.

They said it was a mild shock.

Didn't feel mild to me.

- Made me hair stand on end.

- Your hair always stands on end.

Not f***in' all of it!

- See yeh, Derek.

- See yeh.

Bye now.

- Rehearsal's tomorrow night, all right?

- OK!

We need a year's rehearsal.

We're all over the place.

It was raw, sure. But there was

moments where you were cookin'.

It was only kids and relatives.

What are yeh sayin'?

One gig and we pack it in?

Why d'yis want to be in a band?

Is it the money?

- What money?

- So it's the chicks.

- No.

- Why, then?

- It's hard to say.

- You want to be different.

You want to stand out from the rest o' the

tossers. You want to get up and shout:

''I'm Derek f***in' Scully

and I'm not a tosser!'' Isn't that it?

- That's it, Jimmy.

- Well, don't forget it!

Unless you want to spend the rest o' your

life wrappin' frozen f***in' chickens!

Jimmy, did yeh ever have any doubts that

things wouldn't turn out as you planned?

Well, I'd be tellin' fibs if I didn't, Terry.

And there was that oul'

rock'n'roll demon, S-E-X.

Sex, Jimmy?

Sex, Terry.

- Sex?

- F*** off! I'm being interviewed!

# Guide of the wanderer here below

Come on, baby.

Don't get hung up on anythang.

Our signs have brought us

here together, woman.

You know

I wanna be your everythang.

Come on, baby!

Come see what I've got for you!

I wanna be

your lover-man.

Will yeh stop talkin' shite, Joey?

# Who's the black private dick

that's a sex machine to all the chicks?

# Shaft!

# Damn right

- Can I have your autographs?

- Get lost, Tommy Boyle!

- I liked the light show at the end.

- Shag off!

The kids around here will be thinkin' of us

when they play with their willies!

Your Greg wasn't too happy.

I'd tell him to f*** off,

only me ma'd crease me.

- Dean's nice, wha'?

- I suppose so.

- He's serious. I like that.

- Got a nice little arse on him!

- Jimmy's nice.

- He's great.

- Always got a nice smell on him.

- D'yeh think he's a bit...

- Jaysis, no!

- He never seems to fancy any of us.

I'd have thought you'd find that a relief.

- When are yis playing next?

- That's up to our manager.

I feel like Madonna!

Ah, Jaysis!

Get him off the f***in' drums!

Shut up, Deco!

Get the f***in' hell out!

Doesn't take long to get

the hang of it, does it?

It takes control and skill,

so you're f***ed for starters.

F***in' pig!

D'yeh know Wilson Pickett, Joey?

I jammed with the man. Many moons ago.

We'll be all right for

backstage passes, then. Look.

- ''Pickett adds Ireland to European slate.''

- Who's Wilson Pickett?

# I'm gonna wait till the midnight hour!

You'll wait longer than that

to get near me, yeh f***in' gobshite!

- Can I have a word, Jimmy?

- Sure. What is it?

- This gig on the 15th. I won't be here.

- What?!

I'll be on me holidays with Greg and

the family. We've got a caravan...

- A caravan?!

- I know. It's not very soul, is it?

It bleedin' isn't!

- It was arranged months ago.

- Months ago we didn't have this band!

Just gettin' goin' and you're pissin' off

to some tossin' campin' site!

- You're makin' me feel worse...

- I can't believe you, Imelda!

Ah, for Jaysis' sake, Jimmy!

What can I do?

Will yis all get on! It's not as if

yeh don't need the practice!

# Hey there, here I am

# I'm a man on the scene

# I can give you what you want

# But you got to come back with me

# I forgot some good old lovin'

# I got some in store

At least the little bollix is in key.

# Boys were comin' down by the dozen

Jaysis, that's amazing!

You were actually in Graceland.

So, anyway, there's the four o' yis

sittin' in the front room o' the mansion.

Vernon wasn't drinkin' lemonade,

if yeh know what I'm sayin'.

- Who's Vernon?

- Elvis's da! Vernon Presley!

Go on, Joey.

He picked up Gina.

Gina's me trumpet.

- And he puked right into her.

- He didn't!

- Right into her.

- Good Jaysis!

I went upstairs...

I said ''Yo! Elvis, me man. Look what

your daddy's after doin' to my trumpet.''

- ''Who's goin' to get her cleaned?''

- Hang on.

Get out!

I said get out!

- What did Elvis say, Joey?

- Listen to this. This bit's brilliant.

The man said nothin', at first.

He took Gina, very gently,

and he brought her into the bathroom

and he run her under the tap.

Then he took out his handkerchief

and he gave her a good wipe.

And he handed her back to me

and he said... he said...

''Joey The Lips,

please forgive my daddy.''

Jaysis!

Tell me something, Joey. In all the time

that you were in Graceland,

did you ever...

did yeh ever see Elvis

messin' around with drugs?

No, brother.

I knew it! I always said...! And you,

yeh malignant little bastard! I knew it!

My God Almighty!

# Only the lonely

# Know the way I feel tonight

Lorraine, I can't get your head in.

Everybody bunch up.

Come on, Imelda,

give us a smile! Cheese!

Cheese!

Get on with the photograph!

What are yeh takin' pictures for?

We're still in Dublin!

Cheese, everybody!

Cheese!

Here, let's get in out o' the cold.

- I'm not goin'.

- Wha'?

- I can't!

- What are yeh talkin' about?

It's that bloody group.

You're goin' with them, aren't yeh?

I have to!

What you have to do is go on holiday

with your folks and me.

- I'll follow yis tomorrow.

- You'll never find us!

Ah, Ma, you'll be in

the same field as last year!

- This stuff's so heavy!

- Would yeh give me a hand, Outspan?

Mickah! Would you get your man

off the piano here?

Would yeh get out o' the way there?

Hey! Yeh never told me it was the whole

bleedin' Philharmonic we were bookin'.

They're takin' up half the shaggin' pub!

I normally put 20 people in that corner.

20 leprechauns, maybe.

Imelda!

What happened to your holiday?

Imelda!

- What happened?

- I couldn't go.

- Jaysis, me hair's a state!

- Yeh look great!

There's no time to get me dress.

- I'll buy you a bloody dress!

- Oh, will yeh?

She can pay me later!

- Is he porkin' her now?

- He must be dippin' his dick in steroids!

# I don't know why I love you like I do

# After all these changes

that you put me through

# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, yeah

# Used all my money and my cigarettes

# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, yeah

# And I haven't seen hide

nor hair of you yet

# I wanna know. Won't you tell me?

# Won't you tell me?

# I'd love to stay

# Take me

# Take me

# Take me to the river

# Take me to the river

# And wash me down

# Wash me down

# Won't you cleanse my soul?

# Oo-oo-ooh, my sou-ou-oul

# Get my feet on the ground

# On the ground, yeah

# Hey, yeah

# Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah

# Hey, yeah, yeah

- # Dip me in the water

- # Dip me

# Take me, take me to the river

- # Dip me in the water, baby

- # Dip me

# Take me, take me to the river

- # Dip me in the water

- # Dip me

# Take me, take me to the river

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