The Man Who Wouldn't Die

- Kay.

- Anna.

How are you, darling?

Gee, it's good to see you.

And you too, Kay.

- Where's Phillips?

- He's gone to the movies.

- They're giving away an automobile.

- With tires?

It was nice of you to let me in.

How did you know I was at the front door?

- I heard the bell.

- But I didn't ring it.

Didn't you? Well, then,

I guess it was my imagination.

- Let me have your coat.

- Thanks.

- Where's Dad?

- He's- He's gone to the village...

on an errand

with Dr. Haggard and Dunning.

- On a night like this?

- Would you care for something to warm you up?

Well, I was on the wagon, but I think I'll step off

and give my seat to a gentleman.

Make it a weak one.

Listen to that wind howl. Boy,

it's got my goose pimples popping overtime.

It's a perfect night for a nice, juicy murder.

- What's this about murder?

- Hi, Dad.

Hello, Doc. How are you, Dunning?

How are the three musketeers?

Where the devil did you come frrom?

Dad, that's no way to greet your prodigal daughter.

I thought you were supposed to be staying

with your aunt in Washington.

Well, I- I was, but,

uh, when I read about...

all the trouble you're having with that

mean old Senate investigating committee...

I thought I'd better come home

and see if I couldn't help.

All right. What's the catch?

Isn't it funny? Dad always thinks

there's a catch to everything.

Come on. Out with it.

What is it?

Well, all right.

Now watch your blood pressure.

- I'm, uh, engaged.

- Engaged. What, again?

Well, I'm not engaged exactly.

You see, I'm more than engaged really.

Now how can you be

more than engaged?

- Well, I'm married.

- Oh, well, make up your mind.

- What-Which is it?

- I'm married.

- Why, Kay, darling, that's wonderful.

- Married.

As if I didn't have enough trouble.

- Well, what's this idiot's name?

- Roger. Roger Blake.

Dunning, get my lawyer.

Dad, don't be silly. You can't sue a man

just because he married me.

He may have married you,

but it's my money he's after.

Oh. Give me that.

I suppose a man wouldn't marry me

unless I had money?

Not the last six no-account nincompoops

you've been engaged to.

Well, Roger's different.

He works.

- For the government.

- Dudley, why don't you at least meet Kay's husband?

- See for yourself what he's like.

- Why should I?

Perhaps you'd like

to give them a honeymoon.

To South America.

Maybe I will.

All right, Kay. Trot him out.

Where is he?

Well, I-I made him stay

in Washington.

I thought tomorrow he'd drive up,

and you could meet him then.

At least I'll have the pleasure

of insulting him personally.

You're an angel with a shining halo.

Thanks a million.

That's probably just about

what it's going to cost me.

I know you'll like him.

I'm going up and call him right away.

- Well, good night, everybody.

- Good night, Kay.

- It's good to have you home again, Kay.

- It's good to be home, Anna.

And if anyone ever tries to tell me

about how mean stepmothers are...

I'll just tell them

that I know better.

- Good night, Anna.

- Good night.

My daughter is to know absolutely nothing

of what happened in this house tonight.

- Is that clear?

- Yes, sir.

I told him, Roger, darling,

and he was an absolute lamb.

When? Oh, but that's

three whole days.

Can't it wait?

All right, hon. If you think your business

is that important.

Good night, sweetheart.

I love you.

Who's there?

Kay? Kay!

- What's the matter?

- Let us in, dear.

Yes, dear. Open the door. Let us in.

- What happened?

- What frightened you, Kay?

There! A ghost. I saw a ghost.

He tried to kill me.

- Oh, now, now.

- A ghost. I saw him.

He had a gun in his hand.

There isn't any ghost in there.

You must have been dreaming.

Oh, I wasn't dreaming. He had a gun

in his hand, and he fired at me.

- We didn't hear a shot.

- I tell you he fired at me. He did.

If he took a shot at you,

there'd be a bullet hole.

- And there's none here.

- There. You see, dear?

It's probably just the storm.

You go back to bed, Dudley.

I'll take care of her.

Come, dear. Try and get some sleep.

I wish you'd believe me. He was standing

right there in that doorway, and I saw him.

Don't leave me alone, please.

- You told me he was dead.

- But he was dead.

Then how the devil

did he get out of this grave?

Mike.

- Mike, please stop clowning. This is serious.

- You don't like it?

I couldn't tell you everything

over the telephone.

What's it this time? You tryin'

to snag a husband or unload one?

- It's worse than that. It's murder.

- Hmm?

- Well, anyway, an attempted murder.

- Well, go ahead. Let's have it.

All right.

I'll tell you on the way

up to the house.

Just climb right in, Miss Wolff.

And I told Dad I'd seen this ghost,

but he wouldn't believe me.

- What about the shot? Didn't he hear that?

- Nobody heard it.

Because just as the ghost fired at me,

there was a terrific crash of thunder.

Oh. What'd your dad say

when you showed him the bullet?

Well, that was the funny thing.

There wasn't a sign of a bullet.

Hey, now wait a minute. You say

that this ghost took a shot at you...

- and there was no sign of a bullet?

- Yes.

You sure it wasn't Cupid

with his little bow and arrow?

- Mike, I'm not kidding.

- Uh-uh.

I've handled a lot

of screwy scrapes for you.

But not this one.

No, thanks.

- Why not?

- For a very good reason. I don't believe in ghosts.

Yet.

Now do you believe in ghosts,

Mr. Shayne?

For $200,

I would believe in anything.

Thank you.

You were saying, Miss Wolff?

I wanted to call the police,

but Dad wouldn't let me.

In fact, when I suggested it,

Dad almost had a fit.

- How come?

- Well, ever since the Senate's been investigating him...

he hates policemen and reporters.

What about private investigators?

That was one of the things

I wanted to tell you.

- Mike, you can be my husband.

- Okay, but that'll cost you an extra hundred-

Your husband?

Isn't this kinda sudden?

Well, you don't understand.

I'm already married.

I was married yesterday,

but Daddy hasn't met my husband yet.

- Oh, and you want me to take the poor guy's place.

- Mm-hmm.

That'll still cost you

an extra hundred, and that's wholesale.

$300? That's my entire allowance.

Oh, you poor kiddie.

What, for a month?

Or does it have to last you

a whole week?

All right. You win.

Now, you'll have to get some clothes

and a toothbrush-

No, no.

Not Michael Shayne and Company.

His office is in his hat. His home is in his car.

Take a look in the backseat.

Oh, Mike.

You think of everything.

Well, that's why you pay me

the extra hundred.

- Oh, wait a second.

- Hey, what's the idea?

This is the old custom of carrying the bride

across the threshold.

This service, I throw in free.

- Oh, now! Stop! Please! Hold me!

- Let go of my head!

Ohl

Lfr-Ifr you'll just trust me...

- it'll be all- all right!

- Wait! Wait, wait! Oh!

You know,

you almost dropped me.

- Oh, well, it was a silly custom anyway.

- Oh, hello, Phillips.

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