The Mirror Crack'd Page #4

your offer of a drink?

Yes, she said Mr Rudd

was getting her one. I told you that.

- And Miss Gregg?

- It's funny you should say that.

- Funny?

- Well, not funny.

Kind of strange, really.

Go on, Cherry. Slowly.

Try to remember everything.

Well, it... it was a sort of look

on Marina Gregg's face.

What kind of a look?

Sad? Angry? Surprised? Frightened?

I don't know.

Cherry, dear, take your time.

Think back.

Try to remember the precise look.

Well, it was sort of... frozen.

She was staring over

Heather Babcockfis shoulder

like she wasn't listening

to what she was saying.

Go on.

She was looking towards the

stairs. There's a religious picture.

Then Lola Brewster arrived with

her husband, the producer. Funny man.

Wouldn 't be surprised

if he dyes his hair.

The girl took a photo.

Heather Babcock was rattling on

and Miss Gregg had

this sort of strange frozen look.

What specifically was she looking at'?

The people? The picture?

- Obviously one of the people.

- Oh, why do you say that?

Really, Dermot,

she sees the picture every day.

Absolutely. I'm so sorry, Aunt.

Er, now, how long did Miss Gregg

remain looking at that picture?

The Lady of Shalott.

Aunt Jane?

"Out ew the web and oated wide -

The mirror crack'd from side to side;

'The curse has come upon me,' cried

The Lady of Shalott."

Tennyson, of course.

I do have a weakness for Tennyson.

And it does seem a rather

suitable description.

Go on, Cherry dear.

Continue with your story.

Nothing much more to tell, really.

Lola Brewster came up to Miss Gregg.

I don't think they like each other much,

if you ask me.

They had some pictures taken

and then Mr Rudd came up.

He's so handsome.

Cherry, we want to hear about

Miss Babcock and Miss Gregg.

Did anything else happen?

No, I don't think

I've left anything out.

Heather spilled her drink

and Miss Gregg walked away.

Spilled?

You say Heather spilled her drink?

Oh, yeah. Oh, didn't I say that?

Oh, I must have forgot.

I am silly, aren't I?

- Oh, Miss Gregg! I'm so terribly sorry.

- It's perfectly alright.

- Oh, will it stain?

- I'm sure not, I'm sure not.

Here, you take mine,

I haven't touched it.

Oh, no. I couldn't.

Please, it's no problem.

I'll get another.

So...

...Heather Babcock drank

from Marina Gregg's glass.

Fate was rather unkind

to poor Heather Babcock.

Seems we've been dealing

with the wrong murder.

I suggest you proceed to Gossington Hall

first thing in the morning.

To put to use all those cunning skills

I've inherited from a certain relative?

You know, Dermot,

you really are my favourite nephew.

I'll let Mr Rudd know you are here, sir.

- Inspector Craddock?

- Yes.

Mr Rudd will be with you

as soon as he can,

but I must warn you,

he's awfully tied up.

Tied up?

Inspector, have you any idea

what making a movie entails?

We have wardrobe tests,

we have make-up tests,

we have lighting tests.

- Rainbows End.

- I beg your pardon?

Yes, it was Marina Gregg's

first Academy Award, wasn't it?

- Yes.

- I'll never forget that last scene.

So vivid, real.

Vulnerability, Miss Zielinsky.

Her modus operandi

Journey Home, Paradise Road.

Absolute conviction.

This indestructible ability

to make us care.

- Now, they were facing this way.

- Inspector?

I'm sorry.

The guests when they were introduced.

Yes, that's right.

Those eyes.

Violent. Mesmerising.

It's a copy, of course.

No, no.

I was referring to Miss Gregg's eyes.

Yes, my earliest memory of those eyes

was in Tomorrowfis Dawn.

She played a young socialite

heiress who came from...

Now, where was it she came from?

- Boston.

- Boston, that's right!

She came from Boston

and inherited land in California.

Do you mind...?

Do you remember that scene where

they threatened to dig up her land?

The way she stood up to

those gold-miners,

that sweet, helpless young butterfly.

Tell me, might I speak to her, please?

- I'm sorry, she's resting.

- Oh.

- Well, perhaps later?

- Perhaps.

But sweet, helpless young butterflies

do need their rest.

That snake-eyed son of a b*tch,

Marty Fenn!

He always did have the class of a toad!

And he's putting up the money

for your comeback, so calm down.

And putting that peroxide oozy

into my film!

And as the virgin queen!

She's in two lousy scenes,

neither of them with you'

Lola Brewster, actress.

If she's read the script,

I'd see a blister on her finger.

It's your picture all the way. Nobody

will remember anyone else in it.

Oh, Jinksy.

- Do you really mean that?

- I'll make sure of it.

Oh, God. God, it has been so long.

You don't think there's

any chance I have lost it, do you?

Oh, you'll be better than ever.

I promise.

My love. You're so good for me.

You always have been.

Oh, damn her! That b*tch!

If you look at her carefully,

there's so many lines on her face,

you could drive a train on it!

Maybe I won't shoot her

through a filter.

Filter? Try using an Indian blanket.

You're gonna have to

dub her voice in too.

Or write a line in the script that

Elizabeth is from Hoboken, New Jersey.

Bags, bags, go away-

Come right back on Doris Day.

- Hello?

- Jason, where the hell are you?

Lola's been sitting here for 20 minutes

waiting for you.

She likes the feathers so much,

she wants them in the costume.

I told her, a queen only wears feathers

if he lives in Hollywood,

but she won't believe me.

Jason, you get your ass over here!

- I've been thinking, poopsie.

- Oh, that's a new experience!

Maybe we should bring in Alexander

for my hair.

Lamb chop, if I've told you once,

I've told you a thousand times:

Queen Elizabeth was bald.

- Not in this movie, she ain't.

- It's history.

So is Lola Brewster.

I'll be majestic.

Awesome. Inspiring.

I'm going to wipe that cow

right off the screen'

Let's see, we're gonna need

some scenes with the two of us together,

so the world can see

how much younger and thinner I am.

Lola, baby.

Elizabeth and Mary never met.

Oh, maybe they meet at the market.

No, of course not,

she'd never do her own shopping.

The beauty parlour?

No, they'd come to her.

Wait a minute.

I've got it.

I come to see her

at the Tower of London.

It's right before the beheading

and the rats are crawling all over her.

She's in rags, looking like sh*t.

And in walks... me.

- Inspector, I do have things to do.

- Yes, of course.

Miss Gregg and Miss Brewster,

are they very close?

Close?

If you put the two of them together

in a tank with a shark,

the shark would have an identity crisis.

Tell me, I'm curious, who's younger?

Marina Gregg or Lola Brewster?

- Neither one.

- Bless you.

Oh.

- You alright?

- Hay fever.

Those are maddening things, allergies.

I'm allergic to wool.

I find a tranquiliser helps me.

I use a drug called Calmadon.

- Do you know of it?

- We ship it in by the barrel.

Oh. Does Miss Gregg take it?

By the time this movie's over,

there may be a world shortage.

- Do you take it?

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