The Mirror Crack'd Page #5

- Do I have a choice?

Ah, I think it must be very exciting

working for someone like Marina Gregg.

I'm sure she's a grand person.

Inspector, Marina Gregg can make

Medusa look like St Bernadette.

- Why don't you change your job?

- What, and quit show business?

I used to work for Jason

before they were married.

I've learned to live with her tantrums

and her breakdowns.

Breakdowns? But the image she projects

on the screen is so rational.

Tell me about them.

- It's all rather turgid.

- Really, I'm fascinated.

Well, you can't mention illness

or insanity

or anything to do with children.

That's most interesting. Why not'?

Inspector, I really can't go into it.

I'm sure that Mr Rudd

is a tower of strength to her.

- Devoted beyond the call of duty.

- And Mr Penn?

Marty Fenn is a producer.

He only lies when he speaks.

I should think they've been

pretty unsettled by the murder?

Murder?

Inspector, we have a picture to make.

We can't be bothered

by little local difficulties.

Ah, Mr Rudd.

Could I ask you a few questions?

I'm in a rush. Talk to my secretary,

she'll arrange an interview.

But I'm not a reporter.

Mr Rudd.

Yes? Tell him I'm on my way, damn it.

Ten minutes!

- Mr Rudd.

- I told you, not now.

I'm Inspector Craddock,

Scotland Yard.

Everything we're doing

is according to form.

British crew, extras.

I've waivers on my two leading ladies.

- We're in total compliance.

- If I might interrupt you.

I'm sure you're going to make

a very fine picture

without the aid of Scotland Yard.

I happen to be here

on a minor matter of murder.

Oh, yes. Er, Miss...

Babcock, Heather Babcock.

- I'm truly sorry.

- If I might talk to your wife?

I'm sorry, no one may see her.

She's resting' Doctor's orders.

If you'll excuse me.

Mr Rudd, it's very important

that I talk to her.

Inspector, my wife is about to start

the most important role of her career.

Every ounce of energy is being

devoted toward preparing this role.

She is going to win

her third Academy Award

and I will not distract her with...

Mundane matters like murder.

- Whatever you say, Inspector.

- Jinks.

That's all very well and good.

I firmly believe your wife

deserves a third Oscar.

I think she should have got it

for Summer Rain, actually'

But has it occurred to you

the death of Heather Babcock

wasn't entirely accidental'?

That the intended victim

was, in fact, your wife?

Now may I see her, please?

No, you may not.

My wife has been through a lot and I'm

not only talking about last Saturday.

I'm sorry, but you're not going

to give her a nervous breakdown.

Now, if you will excuse me.

I believe

she's had several all ready.

- Several what?

- Breakdowns.

- Who told you?

- I thought it was common knowledge.

Ah, it's nice of you

to let them play here.

What? Oh, the gardener's kids.

I thought they might

have upset Miss Gregg.

Alright, Inspector,

let's stop playing games.

There was a time years ago

when Marina wanted children, badly.

The doctors told her

she could never have any,

so she adopted two.

Then a few years later... She was

still married to her first husband.

She found out she was actually

going to have one of her own.

Unfortunately, the child

was born mentally retarded. An imbecile.

Marina had a complete breakdown.

She hasn't worked since.

I see.

Now maybe you can understand

what this film means to her.

That she actually has the guts to

appear in front of a camera again.

Yes, indeed.

This film's gonna turn

everything around for her.

That's why if she ever found out,

even suspected,

she was the intended victim...

You don't believe the thought

has entered her mind?

Not for a minute.

The idea of someone wanting to murder

your wife doesn't bother you?

You've been seeing too many

Charlie Chan movies, Inspector.

Look, I'll be here the whole time.

When I'm not, my secretary

won't let her out of her sight.

- You trust Miss Zielinsky?

- Of course I trust her.

She was there.

She had the opportunity.

- Ella is devoted to my wife.

- And to you too?

Jason, Marty phoned again!

He said if you're not there in

ten minutes, he's getting John Houston!

Will there be anything else, Inspector?

Is that the Martin N Fenn

who produced the Terror in Trinidad?

The one and only.

I've always wondered

what the N stood for.

No idea.

How about "knockwurst"?

- Oh, Mr Rudd.

- What?

I was really most impressed

with The Last Brigade.

Particularly, if I may say so,

with your very subtle use

of low-key lighting.

Why, thank you.

Shouldn't you be resting that foot,

Aunt Jane?

Old Edward's got his rheumatism again.

I really can't let the garden

become like a jungle

Do you think Mr Rudd

is fond of his wife?

- I'd say he adores her.

- What about Miss Zielinsky?

Business-like. Efficient.

Seemingly loyal.

Suffers from hay fever.

- Attractive?

- Yes, in a uncalculated sort of way.

- That's a very austere assessment.

- Maybe, but what are you implying?

I'm implying absolutely nothing.

I just find your lack of emotion,

shall we say, a bit studied.

Oh, alright.

If you prefer I were more direct,

then I'd say that given the right time,

the right place,

that Miss Zielinsky is probably...

hotter than a pistol.

Hmm, perhaps

we should return to austerity.

Well, you brought it up.

Seriously, do you believe

she was telling the truth?

Well, let's say, I think she allowed her

loyalties to become quite transparent'

- Her feelings for Mr Rudd.

- Exactly.

- A prime suspect, I'd say.

- Oh, would you, now? Well, well.

Where are you off to?

I'm off to the glamorous world

of movie making.

I see this is not a particularly

taxing case for you, Dermot.

Show business is just

a business, Aunt Jane.

What we need is a little more business

and a little less show.

In fact, there's a wonderful saying

I read not too long ago about Hollywood.

"Underneath all that phoney tinsel

lies the real tinsel."

- That's very profound, Aunt Jane.

- Better be careful, Dermot.

They're liable to mistake you for Leslie

Howard and put you in the picture.

Well, I do have a certain charm,

or so I've been told.

Perhaps it's time

it was discovered.

Dermot! First discover

Heather Babcock's murderer.

Well, I'd better work fast

before someone else does it for me.

Shooting next time!

Let's have a shooting bell.

Very quiet, everybody!

Roll the camera!

- Speed. Mark it.

- Forget the board.

Lola Brewster, make-up test.

Take one. Board on end.

Alright, Lola honey, turn left.

Slowly.

Lovely. Now hold it there a moment.

Down with the chin a little.

Up with the eyes. Good.

Now, keep the chin down. Lovely.

Excuse me, gov. Could you check this?

Yeah.

Dimmer on the key light.

Down a bit. Whoa.

It's not dark enough.

Don't you have Italian blood?

It's the stuff we always use.

Kensington Gore.

It looks like water.

Don't you people know

that blood is thicker than water?

I want it thick like tomato juice.

Excuse me, sir, could you have

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