The Moon's Our Home Page #2

I got as far as Honolulu

one time, sir.

We'll swap travelogues

in the morning.

In the meantime I don't want to see

a single soul...I'll have my dinner in here.

Yes sir. No out in Honolulu

when a gentleman wants his dinner, sir.

Get me the train stenographer...

I got some work to do.

Yes sir!

That's like what I said

about out in Honolulu.

Here...buy yourself a ukulele.

Yes sir!

There's another celebrity on board,

Mr Amberton...Cherry Chester.

Cherry Chester?!

Nobody's named "Cherry Chester."

Sounds like a hero

in a costume picture,

Is "Cherry Chester"

some kind of soft drink?

"Brave adventurer"...

Probably afraid to cross the street.

She's the motion picture star!

"Loathes cities... loves hardship..."

I abhor pictures.

I bet he's lost without

his hot-water bottle!

Marshmallow-faced movie stars

make me sick.

Ah..."Mr Amberton and his camel".

Oh, I see...he's the one

with the hat on!

To me, the simple primitive woman

with a small, high chest...

"Mr Amberton has conquered

the highest peaks known to travellers".

Oh...blah!

A woman of long silences...

consuming in love...

enjoying in marriage.

Bilge...absolute bilge!

I'd better get these right off,

Mr Amberton.

Goodnight Boyce...

and take Mr Amberton with you.

Oh, thanks.

Goodnight darling.

Goodnight Mr Amberton.

Look at them.

The pack's in full cry again!

Quite a theatre...poor novel.

No art in Honolulu Mr Amberton.

Put this toward

a pineapple plantation.

Well, well, well...hello Amberton.

How's everything in the

publishing business?

Just marking time until

the next Amberton opus!

Well, I see my welcome committee

got up early.

Look at 'em.

It's been like that

all across the country.

Funny, isn't it?

If I was still John Smith,

heir to the "Smith Plumbing Supplies"...

they wouldn't pay

any attention to me.

Now that I'm Anthony Amberton,

boy explorer...

Well...look!

I'm afraid your devoted public here

is your only committee.

But the head-hunters...

they're out in full force!

But Cherry Chester came in

on this train, too.

That movie marshmallow?

She probably lives

on this sort of thing.

I loathe women like that.

Give me the simple primitive woman

with a small, high chest!

Well, I'm only a publisher,

but I'll see what I can do!

How is she?...

Don't tell me I'm too late!

Send them away, I tell you!

Our peace dignity blasted

by a lot of howling lunatics.

I won't have it!

I won't see ANY

of that newspaper rabble!

Why I should be burdened with

a public character for a granddaughter...

is more than I can understand.

Ah...there you are!

You've been in the house

just 2 minutes

and there's bedlam!

Lock all the doors,

pull down the shades!

Sarah Brown...come here.

You're thinner...

a picked chicken!

But I'll fatten you up!

You're the one

who's supposed to be ill!

I never had a sick day

in my life!

Lucy, you're an old humbug!

I'm a lonely old woman...

who enjoys seeing her granddaughter

once in a while.

Well?!

Now what's all this I hear

about an Egyptian prince?

That's what I like about you Lucy...

blunt and to the point...

No frills!

Come on...come on...

Out with it!

You mustn't believe

everything you hear.

Although I do rather like him.

He asked me to marry him.

What!?

Don't get excited...I didn't.

They all want to marry you!

I never heard of such a thing!

Now go upstairs and scrub

that disgusting paint off your face!

Go this instant!

And at dinner I expect it

to be plain "Sarah Brown"...

A human being.

Am I plain enough, Hilda?

Miss Cherry, you're terribly plain.

What do you do with this stuff...

drink it?

The people that make it

send you so much of it Miss Cherry that...

Come in!

Oh-oh...I know that look!

You're loopier than a circus sideshow again.

Well, what's for dinner...

besides food?

Just a few old friends

of your grandmother's.

Whee!...paper caps and friends...

And your cousin Horace.

Oh...Horace!

Such a little brain!

Horace van Steeden is a monument

of respectability.

So is Grant's Tomb,

but who wants to marry it?

You've been throwing Horace at my head

ever since I was years old...

But I won't marry him...

I won't, I won't, I won't!

Not in this house.

What's the matter

with you, Horace?

That's a red queen.

Yes...they have them

in every deck.

You have it on a red king.

That isn't honest.

Horace, I didn't ask you to come

and teach me Solitaire...

...at my age.

I want to talk to you about Sarah.

You two must marry.

That would be very very nice.

Well, can't you work up

a little more enthusiasm?

I don't want to get

TOO hot-headed.

The whole thing

is highly suitable.

Sarah will give up

this Hollywood nonsense...

Then you can settle down

and live like Van Steedens.

Now all that's left

is for you to propose.

Yes...that's all that's left.

See, that's the wrong 9.

You know how to propose,

don't you?

You've tried often enough.

You know, I think I've been using

the wrong tactics.

This time, I'll sweep her

off her feet.

At dinner, I'll ignore her...

You know...indifferent.

That's what gets them crazy.

It does. Providing it drives her crazy enough,

you can take her out on the balcony.

The balcony?

It's a very chilly night.

Follow that black 6...

there's where you made your big mistake.

I'll remember, Horace.

This time, Sarah's got to accept you!

Oh, I can't fail.

You've been playing

with 51 cards!

No wonder it didn't come out!

No.

No, what?

No, I won't.

But I haven't asked you

to do anything.

You're going to ask me

to marry you.

I won't.

Oh, you're psychically magnificent!

My intentions WERE to propose to you.

I'll spare you the effort...

for the start, anyway.

Thanks, I am. I had a pretty speech though.

Wouldn't you care to hear it?

Oh, no!

It went...Sarah dear...

Since we first grew up together...

12 years apart!

I concede the point.

Sarah dear, since we first grew...

Well I could cut that part out.

Oh, Horace, cut the whole thing out!

it's a truly estimable piece.

If you heard it, you'd fall

right into my arms!

It refers to the moon...

lyrically, artistically.

"A new moon"...let's see...

Oh, yes!..."Shaded with

a cloud of amber"

Like the colour of your hair.

Oh, Horace that's very pretty,

but...original?

What difference does it make?

My heart's in those words.

Those aren't your words either...

I read the same book!

You ARE psychically magnificent!

Sarah, hadn't you better marry me?

You understand me so well.

Understand you?...

I see through you!

Anybody who isn't Horace

can come in.

Aren't you ready yet?

Boyce, have you ever

seen me drunk?

No, dear.

Only "disorderly".

I'm starting in now!

Just what gave you

this splendid idea.

Just can't stand being sober...

that's all!

I'll get drunk, I swear if I...

That crack in Venus' stomach.

I'm mad when I'm Cherry Chester...

I'm smothered when I'm Sarah Brown.

Oh to be free!

To be alone on a mountain top

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