The Moon's Our Home Page #5

is perfect,

but it's the only solution

for the average woman.

But I'm not an average woman.

Would you have fallen in love

with an average woman?

Certainly not. Would you have

fallen in love with an average man?

Certainly not.

What makes you think

I've fallen in love.

You see, we're not average...

so you've got to marry me!

- I won't.

- You will, too!

I will not, too!

Both!

Let me know in the morning

how you made out.

I've got to go to bed.

Come on, Calvin.

Put this over your wrist.

When you want to stop,

do this.

Use your sticks to accelerate,

not as brakes...get it?

Jumping makes me dizzy.

You don't jump

until the second lesson.

Maybe there won't be

any second lesson.

Keep your chin up in the air,

and don't drag your sticks.

Are you ready?

I'm afraid so.

You're off!

Happy landing!

Nice and cool down here!

I'll help you up.

I'll do it myself, thank you.

Getting up's the toughest part.

You'll never make it.

Oh...You don't think I can?

Just you watch.

I'm watching you.

That doesn't count...

My hand slipped.

Everything slipped.

Keep your head up.

The day is young and so are we!

Are you sure you don't

need any help?

Certainly not...

I'll do it by myself.

Look!

Still lucky.

Friend of mine spent 3 weeks once,

trying to get up.

We had to feed her

out of a bottle.

Better let me help you.

I'll do it by myself...

I bet you I will.

What do you bet?

Anything you want.

Alright...if you can't get up, marry me...

Is it a bet?

It's a bet.

Mind if I sit down?

If there's anything I can do,

let me know.

Tired?

I'm just beginning...

Look! Look I've got it! See?!

I see.

Do you mind

if I burst into tears?

Give up?

Never in this world!

Oh...I give up!

Now I suppose like most women

you're going to crawl out of your bet.

Like most women...I never crawl.

When can I collect?

Darling...make it soon...

I may change my mind.

Let's make it right now.

Wait on a minute...

have I told you about my temper?

I've had complaints about mine.

- We'll fight every day!

- We'll make up every night.

I'll leave you

over and over again!

I'll always find you.

"By virtue of the laws of the state

of New Hampshire..."

"I'm authorised and empowered

by the law..."

"to perform a marriage

between two people,

"who have expressed a desire

to be married"

"I have here a licence..."

Hey...that's done it...

can't marry you without a licence.

In New Hampshire it takes

5 days to get one.

I have one right here.

I have one right here.

Oh, thank you.

That's more like it.

Looks like everything's in order.

We can have the wedding

after all.

Here, you take it.

"By virtue of the laws of the state

of New Hampshire..."

When did you get

that licence?

4 or 5 days ago.

So sure of yourself,

were you?

Of course.

"To have and to hold

from this day forward..."

You were pretty sure of me from

the very beginning, weren't you?

Certainly.

You promise to love, honour

and obey...

Well, sure I do.

I suppose you'd want me

to wait around

doing nothing, while you

were making up your mind.

I certainly do!

Well if that's the way

you feel about it...

do you want to call

the whole thing off?

I certainly do!

Do you promise to love,

honour and obey him?

- Do you really mean that?

- I most certainly do!

As Justice of the Peace...

I'm sick of being made a fool of...

I'm through!

I never want to see you again

as long as I live.

I now pronounce you man and wife!

All you got to do is kiss the bride,

and it's 3 dollars.

Oh I hope you'll be very happy!

All right folks, the bridal suite's

all ready for you.

You'll have to walk up, folks.

Our elevator only works on half time.

Comes down alright.

Won't go up.

Can you make it, Mrs Smith?

I think so.

Well, if that's all folks,

I'll say good night.

Thanks...goodnight.

Hello.

Hello.

Cigarette?

Happy?

I think so.

I know I am.

Only...

Darling, there's something

I've got to tell you.

There's something

I've got to tell you, too.

Let's tell each other

in the morning.

Alright.

Wait!...just a minute...

Come in!

You look wonderful!

Holy smoke!

I can't stand it...

Open the window!

Well do something!

Don't just stand there

like a petrified forest.

Can't you see I'm sick?

What am I supposed to do...

stand here and freeze to death

just because you've got

a complex or something?

Oh darling, I'm sorry...

I can't help it.

It's that perfume...

it always reminds me...

Oh...get away...take it off.

I can't stand it...I'm sick!

I'm sick!

So!...

Reminds you, does it?

You've got your memories, huh?

Well I'll give you something

to really bring them back!

50 cents loser.

- Howdy, Henry.

- Hello, Ned.

There's a message for you

in the pantry.

I've got to go to New York,

right away.

- What about Mr Smith?

- Never mind that!

When's the next train

to New York?

That one left this morning.

There won't be another train

'til tomorrow morning.

But I've got to go to New York.

I've got to get away from here.

Thats all the trains we've got.

But I don't want to stay here.

I want to go to New York!

Lady...I got a truck outside.

I can give you a lift to Boston.

I don't want to go to Boston.

I don't like Boston.

Well, they got a lot of trains there.

I could get one there

to New York.

Could you really

give me that lift?

- If you don't mind the bumps.

- I love them!

Goodbye.

I've considered this situation

thoroughly.

There's only one way to silence

this malicious gossip.

Your engagement to Horace

must be announced immediately.

Granny, that's absolutely impossible!

Why I...

Suppose I were to tell you...

I was married already.

I would say it was your way

of evading an issue.

But I am!

Who to?

Who to?

To John Smith,

that's who to.

Alright, who is he?

Where does he come from?

What does he do?

I don't...

Darling, you've simply

got to believe me.

I believe you. Produce him...

Where is he?

I don't...exactly know

where he is right now.

Sara Brown, if you must lie,

do it more convincingly.

Come on now...everything

will turn out for the best.

- Come on.

- Hope you're right!

Mr Amberton, please.

Mr Amberton's expecting you Mr Holbrook

he's in the trophy room.

Where can I find a girl

in this town?

My wife!...

That is she has some very nice friends

she went to college with.

I don't mean that...

I don't want to meet the girl...

I've met a girl!

The only girl I'll ever meet.

Now she's gone...disappeared...

I can't find her!

Do you know her name?

Of course I know her name...

Sarah Brown.

Sarah Brown?

The most beautiful name

in the world.

Have you tried

the telephone book?

There are 116 Sarah Browns

in the phone book...

all ages, races and dialects.

I've talked to every one of them.

Except one who was

deaf and dumb.

I've searched the City Directory,

I've been to the Bureau of Missing Persons...

Nothing!

Can you describe her?

Of course I can describe her.

Almost she's the most beautiful,

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