The Muppets' Wizard of Oz

Wind blowing through my hair

Everybody telling me

there's nowhere like home

No, no

There's somewhere else for me

I need to take the opportunity and go

And go, yeah

'Cause 'round here it's all too far

And when I look up to the stars

I wanna be, I wanna be like they are

Oh, oh, oh

Sometimes you gotta get out of Kansas

And sometimes you gotta

take your chances

Find the answer

'Cause no one ever made it

just waiting around

For their big 15 minutes

in a two-bit town

And one thing I know is crystal clear

I gotta get out of here

A new sound, a whole new crowd

Why whisper,

when I want to sing out loud?

And let me hear you say,

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah"

I'm on land but I can fly

Something in my heart

saying I was meant to shine

Like a diamond in the sky

I wanna see my name in lights

And someone to buy the movie rights

I wanna hear my music come to life

Oh

Sometimes you gotta get out of Kansas

And sometimes

you gotta take your chances

Find the answer

'Cause no one ever made it

just waiting around

For their big 15 minutes

in a two-bit town

And one thing I know is crystal clear

I gotta get outta here

I gotta get outta here

Mm-mm

I gotta get out of here

- (woman) Dorothy.

- I gotta get out of here.

Dorothy!

Enough daydreaming, Dorothy.

You know, these ketchup bottles

ain't gonna refill themselves.

Sorry, Aunt Em. I just can't

stop thinking about my audition today.

So, how do I look?

You look like one of them girls

in one of them rap videos.

Order's up!

Uncle Henry,

what do you think of my outfit?

You look like

one of them girls in a rap video.

But we cannot allow you

to walk around the street dressed like that.

Dorothy's old enough to dress

the way she wants, don't you think?

Now, Em, don't get mad.

Baby? Uh-oh.

- There you go.

- It's three o'clock.

I've gotta go to my audition.

And this is what I'm wearing.

What? You can't leave.

- Hey, Early. Hey!

- Hey, Em.

I need you for the early-bird rush.

I know I'm leaving you short-handed,

Aunt Em, but this is big.

I mean, if they like me I could get out

of Kansas and become somebody.

If they like you?

See, that's your problem.

Look, now, you can roll out of here

in one of those stretch Hummers

and sing all around the world, but you

never gonna get to where you wanna be

- until you're happy with who you are.

- What?

You can go to your audition

after your shift is over.

- But I'm already gonna be late!

- (Uncle Henry whispers) Psst, Dorothy.

Over here. Come, come, come,

come, come, come, come.

- Nice to see you, Glen.

- (Uncle Henry) So that's it?

You're just gonna pass up an opportunity

to audition for the Muppets,

the most powerful puppets in Hollywood?

(Dorothy) You heard the wise one:

"You're not gonna where you're going

till you're where you're at. "

Well, you've been a great employee

at my diner for years now,

and it's time I repaid the favor.

So, go on to your audition.

- Thanks!

- Go on.

- Excuse me. Henry!

- Hey, baby.

- Henry!

- Remember what I said. Ten percent.

- I'm kidding.

- Henry! Where's she off to?

- Who?

- Who?

I don't see anybody,

I don't know who you're talking to.

Hey, have you ever seen

an African avocado?

They're orange,

but they taste just like peanut butter.

What? Guess what we're having

for dinner? A basketful of kisses, honey.

Oh, man!

Who put a gym shoe in the deep fryer?

Sir? Sir, hi.

I'm here for the audition.

I'm afraid auditions ended at four,

due to slim pickin's.

Please, I'm only five minutes late.

Oh, alas, I feel your pain.

But the Muppets have gone and

where they are now, heaven only knows.

(Kermit) OK, guys, if you gotta go, go.

Next stop, Nebraska.

Who'd have thought it would be so hard

to find an all-American girl with talent?

Yeah, how do the producers

of Girls Gone Wild do it?

Mr. Kermit! Miss Piggy!

Oh, great, a groupie.

Sorry, dear, no autographs.

Actually, I wanted to sing for you,

but if it's too late do you think maybe

you can listen to my demo?

- Oh, I...

- No time.

- We'll have to get your song off Napster.

- No, no, Piggy.

Sure, uh, gee... and you're a singer?

- Yeah.

- And you did this demo yourself?

- All by myself.

- Time to go!

- Listen, I will try to listen to your CD!

- OK, thanks for your time.

Why are you doing that?

I thought it would make

the moment more dramatic.

(tuts)

(man over radio) It's not looking pretty

out there tonight with strong gusts of wind

up to 90 miles an hour

through the Central Plain area.

- Don't forget the toilet paper.

- This just in.

The National Weather Bureau has raised

the twister alert from right-foot green,

to right-foot yellow.

Do you know what that means, folks?

All you people in Boomville and

Washedup should take extra precautions.

Baby, what took you so long?

Did you miss your bus?

You got what you wanted,

I'm still stuck here.

- You need to talk to your niece.

- You need to talk to your niece.

OK, I'll talk to her.

I'm just packing the box.

Toto, is this it for me?

Serving meatloaf to truckers

and living in a Kansas trailer park?

Now, I know you think show business

is all glitz and glamour, but it's not.

Well, that is true.

That is very, very true.

Hollywood is full of crime and flash fires,

earthquakes, paparazzi...

(imitates camera shutter)

- You know, it's not safe. Not like here.

- (thunder)

Look, I know you wanna leave,

but you still belong here

with your family and your friends.

- What friends?

- What friends? Come on.

Toto's your friend,

and um... uh, you got, uh...

- Toto's your friend.

- Toto's a prawn I rescued from the diner

because you won't let me have a dog.

Well, dogs are funky.

And they got fleas, OK?

Look, how about this?

When this blows over,

we will go to the Karaoke Bar and Buffet.

- Sing, girl!

- Don't you guys get it?

I don't want to sing karaoke

in some little Kansas restaurant.

I want an exciting life.

I want to go somewhere

where I can see a concert,

or take dance lessons,

or maybe even learn kabbalah.

- Kabbalah? Did she blaspheme?

- I don't think so, baby.

I wanna go somewhere

where I can be someone.

- Maybe even a star.

- OK, now,

do you wanna be a star or a singer?

Because they're not the same thing.

Well, all I know is that I hate living here

and I don't want to end up like you.

(warning siren)

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Well...

Hey, did you know

that in the Northern Hemisphere,

hurricanes, they twist counterclockwise,

but in the Southern Hemisphere

they twist clockwise?

I'd hate to be the guy that figured that out.

With the wind just blowing everything...

Well, that's the round.

Back to your corners.

I'm heading to the storm shelter

before this tornado hits and we all die.

Anybody care to join me?

Great. Now I'm stuck with these two

knuckleheads in the storm shelter.

Dorothy, come on!

- Henry, come on!

- Come on, I'll help you.

Come on, babe.

- Wait! I forgot Toto!

- No, it's just a shrimp!

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