The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie Page #4

Season #2 Episode #2

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Scooter:
Argh, great! Argh!

(PIRATES CHATTERING)

Sedgewick:
They sound jolly, but they don't look so jolly.

Pea pirate:
Okay, boys, deal them up.

Pirate:
That deck's gotto be swabbed.

George:
Excuse me, gentlemen. I was wondering if you could, if you could tell me...(STUTTERING)

(GEORGE TITTERING)

Scooter:
What's the matter there? Parrot got your tongue?

All:
(LAUGHING)

George:
Well, I...

Pea Pirate:
He looks like a captain,but he talks like a cabin boy!

George:
It isn't going to work. Let's just go.

Sedgewick:
Let me try. You got to know how to talk to these guys. Argh! 'Twas a fine day at sea today. Took a 12-gun brigantine and 10,000 pieces of eight.

Scooter:
Argh! Well, we took an 18-gun sloop and 20,000 pieces of eight.

Sedgewick:
Aye, but did you show no mercy?

Scooter:
Not a bit!

Sedgewick:
Were you cruel and unusual?

Scooter:
The cruelest!

Sedgewick:
Well, me hearties,that was a fine day!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Scooter:
Grab a chair, and join the game! All right!

Pirate:
Come on in. Serve them up,pour them up, pull them up.

Sedgewick:
Ahem! By the way, mateys, have any of you seen this?

(ALL GASPING)

(CHAIRS RATTLING)

Sedgewick:
is that a yes or a no?

JOLLY JOE:
Aye, lad. The cutlass belongs to Robert. Robert the Terrible.

Eloise:
(gasps) My uncle!

Jolly Joe:
You have his cutlass, but you're not he. The others were fooled, but I know better.

George:
You know where we could find this fella?

Jolly Joe:
His fortress is hidden. But I've heard tell of an island, past the Rocks of Malabar. On that island, a cave. And in that cave, the clues to finding his secret lair.

Madame Blueberry: Not zat I'd go looking for it.

Jolly Joe:
And why shouldn't they?

Madame Blueberry: Zey don't call him "Robert ze Terrible"for nothing. He's ze King's own brother, but he's as bad as ze King is good. Tried to take ze throne by force, he did. And, for his treachery, was banished from Monteria.

Jolly Joe:
So he's a little nasty.

Madame Blueberry: A little?

Jolly Joe:
(CHUCKLES) Aren't you up for a little adventure? I hear tell, locked deep in his fortress ,he's harnessed the mechanical arts, to make himself stronger than the King.

Madame Blueberry: With his terrible iron legs and arms.

Jolly Joe:
Not that terrible.

Madame Blueberry: His iron claw can crack a coconut!

Jolly Joe:
Stop trying to scare them. Story says he's waiting for the King to step away, just long enough to grab his beloved children and take the throne for his own.

Elliot:
So, what would he do with them?

Madame Blueberry: For Robert to claim the throne,they must be gone!

Eloise:
(GASPING)

Elliot:
On vacation?

Jolly Joe:
Princess Eloise?

Pirate 2:
(CHUCKLES)

Elliot:
So, what would he do with someone who was helping the Prince and Princess?

Madame Blueberry: A cucumber slices muchmore easily than a coconut.(GRUNTING) (PANTING)

Jolly Joe:
Oh, for Pete's sake.

Sedgewick:
Okay, that's enough adventure for this gourd.

GEORGE:
Clearing tables is really kind of fun when you think about it.

Elliot:
Don't leave without me!

GEORGE:
Which way would be home?

Eloise:
George! Sedgewick! Elliot! Where are you going? We must sail for the island at once!

Willory:
Unless, of course, ourheroes are giving up.

George:
(TITTERING) Oh, no. It's just that, you know, heroes can be very busy.

Sedgewick:
And now that this situation is under control, we've been beckoned to another crisis. Somewhere else.

Eloise:
You must be mistaken.The Helpseekerbrought you here,and only the Helpseeker can send you back. According to my father's notes, the red button brings help, and the blue button sends you home. But I don't believe it will light until your work here is done.

Sedgewick:
I want to go home! Just get me back to 1972. I'll walk from there.

Eloise:
I don't understand.You're our heroes! Brave as lions and cunning as foxes.

Elliot:
Are you the lion? 'Cause I'm not the lion.

Sedgewick:
No, you're the chicken. He's the spineless sea sponge.

Elliot:
Who are you?

Sedgewick:
I don't know. I'm like a sleepy little panda.

Eloise:
My father brought you here for a reason,and your work here is not done.

(DOOR OPENING)

Willory:
All right, here are the Rocks of Malabar. But look! There's no island anywhere.

Elliot:
But Jolly Joe said there's an island past the rocks.

Willory:
Well, you're the King's heroes. I'll leave the interpretation up to you. Ta-ta!

Sedgewick:
I don't know about you, but if I bump into that Robert guy, I'm going to wet myself.

George:
Well, let's at least go look. It won't be that hard. We sail to the Rocks, look around a little, and then go home. Our work will be done. No island, nothing more we can do.

Elliot:
I don't know.

Sedgewick:
Well, what if the map is wrong?

George:
Come on, guys. We'll be fine. We can look like heroes without doing anything dangerous.

Sedgewick:
That does have a nice ring to it.

Elliot:
Great plan, George.

Sedgewick:
What he lacks in spine, he makes up for in brain.

MAN:
(SINGING) Raise the maston the Steadfast! Swifter than a bareback seahorse Sailing an uncharted sea course. Who could survive such a dangerous mission? Alongside pirates with zero ambition? We got the coconuts poured. We dropped the hooks overboard. And if you get a little seasick, We play the haddock for a hat trick. We got the hammocks on the main deck

ALL:
Swingin' low.

Man:
We got the butler doing the henpeck

BOTH:
Screaming so.

Man:
He say you should have beenswabbin' the poop deck

Both:
We don't know.

Man:
It's what the other pirates do-do But we're bringing you. Yo-ho heroes Standing in the gap,where'd you put the toys? Time to take a nap. Yo-ho heroes Flighty as a bird Easy is the word yo, I'm seeing no heroes. We're on a limbo craze It's a relic from our limber days Now we're stuck inside the limbo zone That's where the pirates go with too much time and a missing spine. Yo-ho heroes Standing in the gap Where'd you put the map? Take another nap. Yo-ho heroes Strike a better pose That's the way it goes, Yo, I'm seeing no heroes. We're on the bad mood swing. We haven't done one thing. Not even the minimumdaily requirement. We got the funk without the Parliament. But if you're feeling a little seasick(Rise and shine) And you want to get offthe guilt trip(Now's the time) Because the captain of the main ship (Rings the chime) He could be coming before you know him What are you gonna show him? Go, heroes Standing in the gap Taking up the slack Following the King's map. Go, heroes Steady as a rock I know it's a shock Yo, let's be a hero. Go, hero Standing in the gap Taking up the slack Following the King's map. Go, hero Steady at the wheel Keep an even keel Yo, there be the King's heroes.

ELOISE:
The Rocks of Malabar!

Sedgewick:
Well, that's it. No island around here.

Elliot:
Time to go home.

George:
Fellows, fellows! Let us not give up so easily.The island may still lie ahead.

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