The Poseidon Adventure

-Engine room, chief still there?

-Yes, sir.

-lt's the captain, put him on.

-Aye, aye, sir.

-Are you making contact?

-Yeah, l'm making contact.

Chief, the captain wants

you on the phone.

Chief here, go ahead.

What's going on? Anything more

you can do with the stabilizers?

There's nothing wrong

with the stabilizers.

Besides, my hands are full

with this pump!

You know what the trouble is.

lt's that bastard Linarcos.

Care to repeat yourself?

He's standing right here.

Good, I hope he heard me!

All right, Joe, do the best you can

until we clear this weather.

-Where the devil did you come from?

-From my cabin, sir.

Don't you realize it's

dangerous out there?

You said come up anytime.

Robin Shelby. . .

. . .remember?

You picked a particularly

fascinating moment to come here.

The waves don't bother you?

l've surfed up to 1 8 feet.

-But these look more like 30.

-Thirty-five to be exact.

Some get up to 300.

-l find 60 about maximum. Steady up.

-Steady up, sir.

-Bring her up.

-Bring her up, sir.

Hang on!

-All lifelines rigged?

-All except C deck, sir.

When l order all lifelines rigged

it includes C deck. See to it.

Wow, surf's really up.

-Master Shelby.

-Yes, sir?

We'll continue our discussion

another time. Fair enough?

Aye, aye, sir.

That last one almost

broached us, Linarcos.

l warned you. We should've

loaded extra bunkers in Gibraltar.

We are top-heavy and when

that pump is repaired. . .

. . .l am taking on more ballast.

-Where next?

-Mr. and Mrs. Rogo, M45.

-Yeah?

-l'm Dr. Caravello. You asked for me.

All morning.

-You the only doctor on this tub?

-The only ship doctor.

What if somebody was dying?

Oh, my God, who's not dying?

Most of the passengers

are sick, Mr. Rogo.

We have to take them in rotation.

Use one of these now,

another in 8 hours. . .

. . .and remain in bed

until the sea is calm.

Hold it, hold it.

You mean we had to wait all

this time for you to come. . .

. . .and give her some pills?

And some crap about staying in bed?

How do you know she's just seasick?

Look at her!

lt could be something else.

You didn't even examine her.

Oh, shoot me, Mike.

For chrissake, just shoot me.

You see how sick she is?

l'll tell you what this is.

lt's food poisoning, that's what.

How is she gonna swallow pills

when she can't even swallow water?

They're suppositories, Mr. Rogo.

You. . .

. . .don't swallow them.

What do you do with them?

l know what to do with suppositories.

Just get them out of here!

Oh, hon. . . .

Nurse, l think we should

continue with our rounds.

l still think it's food poisoning.

Oh, shut up.

-Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Rosen.

-Good morning.

Don't fall over.

-That Martin, he's crazy.

-l like that man.

Of course you like him.

He runs on time like a train.

You and trains.

When, in my whole life,

did l ever run for a train?

Who cried for a week when

they tore down the 3rd Avenue El?

Yeah.

He's lonely.

That's why he runs,

so you won't notice.

Says here there's a package

tour to the mountain. . .

. . .where Moses received

the Ten Commandments.

No.

When we finally get to lsrael,

we're gonna stay put, no traveling.

We're gonna get to know our grandson.

Just think, he's 2 years old already.

He's talking.

We've never even seen him.

Get down on your knees

and pray to God for help. . .

. . .and then maybe everything

will work out?

Garbage.

Not where l come from.

You could wear off your knees praying

to God for heat in February.

And icicles would grow

from your upraised palms.

lf you're freezing,

you burn the furniture. . .

-. . .but you get off your knees.

-Somewhat unorthodox, Reverend Scott.

But realistic.

John, the church is

for more than prayer.

With those sermons, it's a wonder

you're still ordained.

-Or are you?

-The best kind.

Angry, rebellious,

critical, a renegade. . .

. . .stripped of most of my

so-called clerical powers.

But l'm still in business.

-You seem to enjoy the punishment.

-Punishment?

The church has blessed me.

Banished to a new country in Africa.

Hell, l had to look it up on a map.

My bishop doesn't know, but he's

given me exactly what l wanted:

Elbow room. Freedom!

Real freedom. Freedom to dump

all the rules and all the trappings.

And freedom to discover God

in my own way.

l'd better be going.

l'll see you later.

John.

Still want me to give

that sermon this afternoon?

Well, one thing's for sure:

Nobody will sleep through it.

The weather report, sir.

''Weather moderate to the southeast.

Barometer 1 01 6 millibars.

Smooth seas, clear skies. '' Good.

Keep her on slow,

start taking on ballast.

Aye, sir.

Full ahead, captain.

As l've told you, we don't have

enough ballast yet to run full ahead.

l suggest we talk privately.

Linus, start taking on ballast.

l did not suggest full ahead, captain.

As the new owner's representative. . .

-. . .l ordered it.

-Damn it, man. . .

. . .the Poseidon is too fine a lady

to be rushed to the junkyard.

We're three days behind schedule and

it's costing thousands of dollars. . .

. . .to maintain a wrecking crew.

We dock Monday!

l can't gamble with

my passengers' lives!

Your business is to deliver this ship

when and where we want it.

An unstable ship at full ahead is

dangerous. Especially one this old.

l'm sure l don't have to remind you

of my right to relieve your command.

Three other officers

have their master's license.

Now, order full ahead.

You irresponsible bastard.

Full ahead!

Aye, aye, sir.

Where did they come from?

They boarded at Gibraltar.

They're on their way to Sicily.

A free trip for free music.

They're going to a jazz festival.

Morning after

l can't take this.

Give me a Strauss waltz.

l rather fancy it.

You? You even fancy bagpipes.

Hey, did you know this?

The engines on this ship

have more total horsepower. . .

. . .than all the cavalry Napoleon

used to conquer Europe.

How about that?

That's heavy, Robin, real heavy.

The generator creates enough

electricity. . .

. . .to light Charleston, South Carolina,

and Atlanta, Georgia.

-Shelby?

-That's right.

-Cable.

-Thank you.

-lt's my turn to open the cable.

-Don't be so childish.

''Mother and l waiting impatiently

your arrival.

Our thoughts and our love with you

on this New Year's Eve. Dad. ''

-We should've sent them a wire.

-l did.

Why didn't you ask me for my ideas?

l mean, what to put in it.

Why don't l have a brother

who's easier to live with?

-Stop jumping and go take a shower.

-l'm going to the engine room.

-You're going to church.

-On vacation?

-Will you get in that bathroom?

-l want to see the propeller shaft.

-You'll see the propeller shaft later.

-Why don't you shove it?

Don't you ever say that to me again.

Shove it, shove it, shove it.

God is pretty busy.

He has a plan for humanity that

stretches beyond our comprehension.

So we can't expect Him to concern

Himself with the individual.

The individual is important

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