The Prince and the Showgirl

"Today's arrivals for the coronation

of King George V and Queen Mary. . .

. . .include the regent of Carpathia,

His Highness the Grand Duke Charles.

He will be accompanied by the present

king, his son, and the Queen Dowager.

They will be in residence

at the Carpathian Embassy. . .

. . .Belgrave Square, southwest. "

Oh, law.

You mean to say you know nothing

about Carpathia whatever?

Don't even know where

the place is, for a start.

How long in the Foreign Office?

15 years. But I'm in

the Far Eastern Department.

That's no excuse.

What would you think if I said

that I knew nothing about Siam?

Don't think I'd mind much.

-That remark will get you nowhere.

-Out of this job?

Certainly not.

Your predecessor had a riding accident

and you are now in his saddle.

Attached to the suite of the

Grand Duke Charles of Carpathia.

I made jolly plans for the coronation.

And I don't speak a word of Carpathian.

That's all right. They're

excessively proud of their English.

Now, look here, Northbrook.

Carpathia.

A mixed German-Slav population

of 111/2 millions.

The most efficient railways

in the Balkans. . .

. . .and the fourth largest

army in Europe.

So delicately poised is the balance

of power right now. . .

. . .that the secession of this

from this. . .

. . .to that. . .

. . .would make the aggressor

strong enough to start his war.

I presume even in the Far Eastern

Department they have some idea. . .

. . .who that aggressor

would be likely to be.

Kaiser Bill.

Precisely. Kaiser Bill.

They should've left the station

by now. Get along to their embassy.

Yes, by Jove! Here they are.

There, Northbrook.

There is your future charge.

Who's the boy?

The king, of course. The regent's son.

Don't you know anything?

Unhappily, the boy is pro-German.

A cousin of the Kaiser.

In 18 months when he comes to power,

we shall have to look out for trouble.

That's the Queen Dowager beside him.

The boy's grandmother,

the regent's mother-in-law.

Quite a formidable old lady.

And there is the regent.

A character, Northbrook,

definitely a character.

By the way, Grand Ducal Highness,

not Serene.

And all for formalities,

backing out, all that sort of thing. . .

. . .he's very touchy about that.

He's a very touchy

proposition altogether. . .

. . .but a very vital one.

He must not, by one jot

or one tittle, be offended.

You are the instrument chosen by fate

and by me to see to that happy result.

Tonight, entertain him.

The opera, whatever he wishes.

The opera? I say.

I said, Northbrook,

whatever he wishes.

-Who is it?

-Miss Marina, you'll be late.

-What?

-Principals to meet the royal party.

Miss Springfield's lining them up now.

-My shoulder thing is busted.

-Keep still.

-What party?

-That Carpathian lot in the royal box.

Oh, gosh.

You'll be all right, dear,

only hurry.

Quickly, quickly, everyone into line.

He's coming.

Quickly.

Quiet, everyone! Into line.

He's coming.

-Who's missing?

-Elsie Marina.

Can't that girl ever make

an entrance on time?

Chorus, into your groups.

You're to be seen, not heard.

And principals. . .

. . .you're not to speak unless

directly addressed.

Should that privilege be yours,

the regent is to be addressed. . .

. . .as Your Grand Ducal Highness.

May I present Miss Maisie Springfield?

I know Miss Springfield.

We're old friends.

Grand Ducal Highness.

What a charming character

is this coconut girl.

I'm happy to hear you say so.

It is a character that goes deeper

than most in musical comedy.

Yes, indeed, quite so.

I've been anxious to find a role

which offered an emotional challenge.

And most charming it is.

I began to fear we had lost

the gay person I knew in Paris.

-How gracious of you, sir, to remember.

-I look forward to. . . .

-And this, I take it, is our hero.

-I'm most honored to meet Your. . .

. . .Grand Ducal Highness.

I trust Lord Percy will manage

to extricate himself from his impasse?

Oh, yes, indeed, sir,

as you'll see, I hope.

-How do you do?

-Mr. Tim Thorne LeStrange.

-Gosh, what do I do?

-Just take his hand and curtsy.

-What's he, a king or something?

-Regent.

-What's that?

-King's understudy, but he's always on.

Regent.

-How do you do?

-Good evening.

Miss Betty Boot.

Most charming. Delightful.

Such pretty music, did you think so?

Oh, I did. Yes, sir.

It's a good play.

It goes a little deeper, I think.

-Oh, yes, sir. Rather, sir.

-Charming disguises.

-Mr. Dan Lipino.

-Most amusing.

Miss Maggie Cooper.

Most agreeable. Such a strong

and original story, don't you think?

Oh, yes, sir. We all love it.

It offers an emotional challenge, no?

Oh, yes, sir. Like anything.

-Do I say anything?

-Just, "How do you do?"

-What if he says something?

-Say something back. Get in line.

Mr. Arthur Lucas.

Miss Fanny Trehan.

-How do you do?

-Miss Elsie Marina.

And the little American friend

of our heroine.

-How do you do?

-How do you do, Your Regent?

-The damage, I trust, can be mended?

-Oh, yes. I can fix it with a pin.

A pin. Has no one a pin?

I'd be happy to assist you.

-No, Your Regency.

-Charming. Most delightful.

Well, good night. Perhaps better not

tempt Providence again.

Well, good night, ladies and. . . .

Good night.

I'm very pleased.

Really, very pleased.

So many doors. Like an audience

with the Japanese emperor.

Alas, the foreign secretary awaits me.

What a shame you couldn't stay

and see our lovely wedding scene.

Perhaps another visit from

Your Serene Highness?

He's not Serene! He has not been

serene since he was regent.

All right, he's gone.

Come on, get on with it.

I'm terribly sorry for being so late.

That I'm prepared to forgive.

But not your disgracing us all

in front of my dear friend the regent.

-It could happen to anyone.

-It could happen to anyone.

That's what makes it so funny

that it always seems to happen to you.

What did you think of him?

Don't you think he's rather a dream?

-"A dream," she says.

-She knows better.

If those are your wishes,

they will be carried out.

If you please, Mr. Northbrook.

Come in.

Miss Marina, a letter.

I say, by Jove,

you look absolutely stunning!

Oh, go away.

Good evening, my lord.

Miss Marina.

Miss Marina.

Else?

-Have I too much rouge on?

-For what?

-Romano's.

-That's all right for pink shades.

-Private rooms?

-Certainly not.

-Come on, Betty.

-Who are they?

We don't know their names, dear.

Don't be late.

-They're okay. They're Life Guards.

-Come on.

-We have to be in our places at 7 a.m.

-Seven?

-But the procession starts at 9:30.

-That's what it says in the papers.

-What is that?

-The prop man gave it to me.

I'll make sure she gets there on time.

I wouldn't miss the coronation

for all the guards.

I say, by Jove,

you look absolutely stunning.

Good night. Don't wait for us.

Thanks, dear. Good night.

So long, Else.

-What's that?

-Come here.

Listen.

"His Grand Ducal Highness. . .

. . .the Grand Duke Charles,

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