The Rock and Michael Clarke Duncan: 'The Scorpion King'

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We have killed,

Babylonians!

We have killed,

Mesopotamians!

We have killed,

Assyrians!

Mycenaeans!

Sumerians!

But-

we never had the pleasure

of killing-

an Akkadian!

Which limb do I

take first?

May the gods have pity on you!?

Because my brother, will not!

You missed!

You're lucky

we have the same mother!

LoS PiRaTaS 2OO2

by Kurgan

Before the time of the pyramids

a fearsome horde came from the east-

and swept across the barren lands

of the ancient world.

By the law of the horde their greatest warrior

was proclaimed their king.

His name was Memnon.

He was the greatest swordsman

the world had ever seen.

With the predictions of a sorcerer who

could foretell the outcome of every battle-

Memnon slaughtered all

who resisted him-

until only a

brave few remained.

Silence!

My father has called

for silence!

Hold your tongues!

We are gathered in this place

to put our differences aside.

There is still

time for us.

The last of

the free tribes.

To stand together

against this tyrant.

With his sorcerer

at his side-

no mortal can

defeat Memnon.

And if the sorcerer

were to die?

What then?

It's too late for

your schemes, Pheron.

I've raided Memnon's caravans,

broken the supply lines to his troops-

but he still swept across

the land like a plague.

I will not send my people to their deaths

in a battle that can't be won.

And what people would that be,

Balthazar?

You are the ruler of

Nothing-

but a pile of rocks-

and sand.

If I'm no king-

why are you on your

knees before me?!

Balthazar?!

Akkadian's!

I thought they were wiped out long ago!

They are the last

of their kind.

By their hand,

the sorcerer will die.

You put your faith in a clan

of cutthroats who kill for money?

They are more than that!

They are skilled assassins-

trained for generations

in the deadly arts.

And what price, do these

mercenaries ask from us, father!

But that's the last of

our treasury.

Be quiet!

If these men kill the sorcerer,

will you fight?

So be it!

As long as one of us still breathes-

the sorcerer will die!

Assassin!

Him-

we kill for free.

We can reach Memnon's

encampment by nightfall.

When are you going to get rid

of that filthy beast?

He doesn't mean anything

by it.

Horses are faster.

Camels are smarter.

That one is mine.

Live free.

Die well.

Stop!

Listen to me!

I am a high priest of Seth.

Spare me and I shall bless thee

in five different languages.

You're screwed in five

different languages.

Wait!

Not that heavy.

Look out for the fat one!

He's behind you!

Help me!

Help me!

Whoever you are!

Thank you, thank you!

Good sir!

Quiet!

Surely, you heard of the enormous

reward for my safe return?

The sorcerers tent!

Back!

That way!

Find the other one!

You been betrayed,

Mathayus.

You know my name?

And why you're here.

He's in the tent!

A living, breething

Akkadian!

This is a rare pleasure!

I hear you trained yourself

to bear great pain!

You must teach me this.

If you live long enough.

Not looking so full of yourself,

are you now, assassin.

You.

You betrayed your own father.

Yes.

He was very shocked.

You could tell on the look

on his face.

By my fathers head-

I pledge my allegiance.

You've proven your loyalty,

Takmet.

This one still lives.

Beautiful.

Bring him to me.

Mathayus.

Live free!

Die well, my brother.

So.

How shall this one die?

He shall not die tonight.

Really?

- We shall see.

- Nor shall he die by your hand-

or any hand you command.

You have seen this

in a vision?

To ignore this, would bring

great misfortune.

The gods show him favour

this night.

Just the gods?

What a puzzle then !

How to kill you without using my hand

or any hand I command !

Fascinating, isn't it?

The smoke, it causes the fire ants to

abandon their homes, you see ?

All the sooner to feast on

our naked heads.

- You think it's funny !?

- A little bit funny, yes, you see-

I am about to escape while you on

the other hand-

are about to die a horrible death,

for leaving me to die last night !

So what are you waiting for ?

You see that one over there ?

He's been drinking that jak-piss for about

an hour now....and very soon-

ah, you see !

Hey, where's the horse thief ?

Hark, come on.....get me out of here.

You-

promise not to kill me?

Yes, I promise.

Remember, you are an Akkadian, if you make

an oath you always have to keep it, right ?

That's right.

Promise to take me with you and

share in the spoils of you're adventures.

What?

Fine, yes !

I promise.

Now hold still.

Here's one.

That's a big one !

And here comes the mother !

So, where are we going ?

To Memnon's kingdom

to avenge my brothers death.

Never touch the bow !

No problem.

- Who are you calling ?

- My ride.

It's a nice camel.

Not much room up here.

Scoot up, please !

Hey, we had a deal !

Right,

and I haven't killed you...yet !

What news from

my sorceress today ?

Good news ?

Your armies will conquer

in the west.

Queen Isis' forces will scatter

to the four winds.

Give the generals the news. Have them

make their armies ready for the final campaign.

Yes, my lord.

You think I'm cruel,

don't you ?

Perhaps you forgotten what it's

like outside these walls !?

Heartless, ignorant-

and savage.

But I can change that.

I will bring order after

centuries of chaos.

An order which will last for

a thousand years.

Rivers of blood can never

bring peace.

But they can bring obedience !

That will suffice for now !

And when I become

the king of legend-

then you should take your place beside me...

...on the throne-

and in my bed.

But my lord-

in your bed,

I will loose my gift of sight-

and you would loose your

advantage in battle.

The day I speak of...is that when

I no longer need your visions.

Gomorra.

Let me tell you ! After a hard day of looting and

pillaging, there's no greater city than Gomorra !

Except, maybe Sodoma.

I wish I could join you.

You're not going ?

Believe me, I like to even the score

with a few of those red-guards myself !

But with the price they got on my head,

I'll never make it through those gates.

I have faith in you, my friend.

You'll get us in !

You see! They got the city sealed up

tighter than a crabs buttocks.

- I wish there was something I could do to help...

- Oh, but there is !

- What business do you have here ?

- I've come to collect a bargain...a horse-thief.

I know this dog !

They behead him for sure this time.

He'll be all the prettier

without it.

- What happened ?

- You got us in. I knew you could do it.

A jug of your finest wine for my

roadweary friend here.

Wait a minute...the last thing that...I remember...

..was this huge akkadian fist coming...

- Here's your wine, sir.

- ....to my ....

- Let me know if there's anything else you like.

- It's good to be back in the big city !

- Watch my camel for me ?

- Gladly.

Been working here long time ?

How's the kebab ?

"Merchandise of the highest quality ! Virgin-steel forged

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