The Sapphires

Hurry up, Kay!

J' Whoa, thought it was a nightmare.

J " Lo, it's all so true... J".

Slow down, cuz!

J" They told me don't go walking slow.

J " The devil's on the loose... J"

Come on, Kay!

I'm coming!

J" Better run through the jungle.

J" Better run through the jungle.

J" Better run through the jungle.

J " Whoa, don't look back to see... J".

Stop.

Me, me, me!

Ladies and gentlemen,

it gives me great pleasure

to welcome to the stage this afternoon

four of Australia's

deadliest entertainers.

The one, the only, the very talented

Cummeragunja Songbirds!

They never call me

n*gger, never put no dog on me.

I'm fighting to free him,

and my mama ain't free in Louisville!

Kiss me...

Oi! You having one of them

dirty dreams again'?

Nick off, will you?

I said get up, you lazy mongrel!

We've got a talent contest to win.

Jeez, I was having the best

dream of my life,

and you had to ruin

the whole blasted thing.

Julie! What's wrong with you?

She's mad, like you.

Doesn't mean she has to

suck my aming face off.

I don't see how you're going to win

any contest if I'm not there.

I told you, you can't come.

You're not old enough.

They won't let you in.

They wouldn't know how old I was

unless you told them!

Julie, you're not going!

That's the end of it.

Hurry up, Dad.

I need some hot water for the shower.

Well, you should have got up

half an hour earlier, then.

We haven't got half an hour.

We're gonna miss the flamin' bus.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Glorious day, Julie.

Rack off, goat-face.

Good job.

How could Jimmy not love that?

You're not the first girl

that's ever been left at the altar.

What do you expect from a Middleton,

anyway?

J" Yellow bird.

J" Up high in banana tree.

J' Did your lady friend

leave the nest again?

- J' That is very bad.

- J' Ooh.

- J' Makes me feel so sad.

- J' Ooh.

J" You can fly away.

J" In the sky away.

J" You more lucky than me.

J' Yellow bird... J'

What? If I'm not coming with you,

I'm not singing with you.

J" Up high in banana tree.

J' Yellow bird.

J' You sit all alone like me.

- J' Better fly away.

- J' Ooh.

- J' In the sky away.

- J' Ooh.

J" Picker coming soon.

J" Pick from night to noon.

J" Black and yellow you.

J' Like banana too.

J " They may pick you someday. J".

Still not going.

See ya.

J' There's a land

that is fairer than day.

J" And by faith we can see it afar.

- J' For the Father... J'

- Cooee! Hey, hey, hey!

- What's his problem?

- It's 'cause we're black, stupid.

No. It's 'cause you're ugly.

Taxis always stop for me.

Now, now, girls.

J" In the sweet by and by.

J' We shall meet... J'

Going into town?

Here's trouble.

Wake up!

Get up, you drongo!

- J " I'm a soul man... J"

- Hey!

Get out of my life,

you horrible little gobshites!

J' I'm a soul man.

J' I'm a soul man.

J' I'm a soul man.

J" Daddy-o.

J" Got what I got the hard way.

J" And I'll make it better

each and every day.

J' So, honey... J"

Bite me, dog.

J " Don't you fret... J".

- Come on, Buster, come on.

- Morning.

Well, thank you for turning up.

You are welcome, sweet tits.

You're on your last warning, boyo.

Blow it out your flabby arse.

Hello.

Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls, welcome.

My name is Dave Lovelace,

and as you can probably tell from

my accent, I am from Melbourne.

Pause for laughter.

You're getting the idea.

I kind of start off slow,

and then I slowly peter out.

Alright, let's get going here.

First up, we've got Noelene.

Where are you, Noelene,

you skinny-arsed...

Too kind.

That's your music, is it, love?

Noelene is going to play

one of my personal favourites,

a song made famous by the Seekers.

It's called 'Morningtown Ride'.

She's got her own guitar,

so I'm just going to leave her to it.

And I'll be over here...

..opening a vein.

J' Train whistle blowing

makes a sleepy noise.

J" Underneath their blankets

go all the girls and boys.

J" Rocking, rolling, riding

out along the bay.

J" All bound for Morningtown

many miles away... J'

Put that away, you halfvvit!

You're going to get us kicked out.

Yeah, look at 'em! This could be

the last drink I ever get.

J" Fireman rings the bell.

J" Sandman swings the lantern

to show that all is well.

J" Can't afford

to get bored, dear old Sadie.

J' Looks as though

you'll always be a cleaning lady. J'

Well done, Tommy.

I have to say, I think you've

got a long career ahead of you.

Ironically, in cleaning.

OK, last up.

Hello - we've got a couple of sisters

who tell me that

they're from down the road a bit,

in a place called Crommer-er-unge.

Crommer-arra-runge.

Com mer-range-er.

G'day, folks.

Thanks for the heartfelt applause.

You can find something else to do,

we don't need you.

I'm Gail. This is Cynthia.

And... just so as you know,

you're all standing

on blackfella country.

We're the Cummeragunja Songbirds.

Here's a Merle Haggard tune.

Hope to God you like it.

J" Today, I started loving you again.

J' And I'm right back.

J" Where I've really always been.

J" I got over you just long enough.

J" To let my heartache mend.

J' And then today

I started loving you again.

J" What a fool I was

to think I could get by.

J" With only these few million tears

I've cried.

J' I should have known.

J" The worst was yet to come.

J' And that crying time for me.

J" Had just begun.

J" Well, today, I started

loving you again.

J' And I'm right back

where I've really always been.

J" I got over you just long enough.

J" To let my heartache mend.

J' And today,

I started loving you again.

J" Yes, and today, I.

J" I started loving you.

IAgain. J".

I thought I told you to

stay home.

Who are you to tell me what to do,

you hard-headed drongo'?

I'm the one who's going to drag your

big lip over your fat head in a minute!

Stop it!

- Um...

- Excuse me, mate!

- We're in the middle of something.

- I just wanted... That wasn't terrible.

Do you sing anything other than that

kind of country and western shite?

Sorry, what's wrong with

country and western, mate?

OK.

Alright, folks.

We got a winner for youse.

Taking home the 1O bucks -

you won it, bud...

it's Noelene, with 'Morningtown

Ride'.

- But I was great!

- We were the best.

That's bullshit, Merle.

That's a sack of dick.

You're giving it to Noelene?

She's allergic to music.

That's a fix.

Fix, fix, fix, fix, fix...

Shaw's over, girls. Pack your swags

and get back to the humpy.

You were marvellous.

Hey, hey, Tammy Wynette.

Did you forget something?

Thanks.

And we can get ourselves thrown out

of a pub. Don't need your help.

Thought I told you Abos

to get off my premises.

You were happy enough to have us

sing in your crappy contest.

- Who said I was happy?

- What's the story anyhow?

- She your relative or something?

- She's ugly enough.

And you can piss off out of it too.

You were a shithouse MC anyhow!

Better than you deserve.

And a lot better than you pay.

I can find somebody else.

Alright, let's not do anything hasty.

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