The Scarehouse

---

- I think this thing is broken!

- Did you take off the lens cap?

Proof that I.Q. and breast size

clearly aren't related.

Hello!

Welcome to this year's Sigma

Cappa Delta Slut Cam Games.

Did you check the focus

on the camera outside?

Yep. Yesterday. You shuffled

the hay around in the barn scene?

I sure did, Pa.

Want to go for a roll in it?

- Kaitlin, whose camera is that?

- It is Katrina's dad's camera.

You don't even want to know

the sick sh*t we found on here.

Kat, your mom's going to have

to fire the babysitter!

- Everybody was invited?

- Triple checked, captain!

All right, I think we're in good shape.

You built us a beautiful house.

Tonight Corey Peters and Elaina Forrester

undergo their final challenge

and we'll see who gets to be crowned

our next sorority sister!

I cannot wait to see

the looks on their faces.

- We should make them play truth or dare.

- Oh, my God. What are you, 12?

- You think they'll show up?

- Really?

I know it's Saturday

and it's Devil's Night.

- What else are they supposed to do.

- They'll come. They'll flock like lemmings.

There hasn't been a haunted house

this close to campus before.

Lookie what I found!

It takes a lot more dick

than this to satisfy me!

That's disgusting.

Now I want to bleach my imagination.

- Are you getting the jitters?

- I'm fine. It's just...

- Mental checklist leads to over-thinking.

- Well, stop it.

You're making me nervous

and I don't want to be nervous.

- Now you have me thinking.

- Don't.

No one could have planned this

better than you.

Here's hoping...

Congratulations finding the only outfit on

the planet to make you look any skinnier.

Shut...

Little higher.

Perfect. Use the knot I taught you.

I'm glad having you

as my foreman is over tonight.

- Shut up. You'll miss me.

- I was a model for a bit.

No, sweetheart,

you were in a PSA about Hep C.

B*tch.

Do you want me to get the blood bucket?

The lighting and shock effect

should be enough on their own.

I'm going to the monitors.

Time to power up.

As president,

I'd just like to say it's been...

fun getting to know you both

these past couple weeks.

Welcome to The Scarehouse!

- That's impressive!

- Wait for it.

- Enter if you dare.

- You evil genius!

It's set to open every three

or four minutes to let a few more in.

That way we don't get overwhelmed.

This year's challenge

will require... balls.

I'd love to say more

but I have to get ready!

- Get out! It's my turn!

- It's my f***ing house!

- Jesus Christ, Jackie!

- Don't say that!

Sorry. Not on Devil's night.

Oh, my God!

Now I have Katrina's cooch on my lips!

- The rooms are ready?

- Check.

All right, let's sh*t some pants!

Dear sisters, you are cordially

invited to this year's

Sigma Cappa Delta Halloween V.I.P. Bash.

In order to reach this private event,

you will have to face your deepest

and darkest fears inside the Scarehouse.

1635 Ellis Drive.

See you there, b*tches.

I don't know if my Grandma would approve

of the way I invested the money

- she set me up with.

- Invite her down, let her watch.

Hi, Grandma, what are you doing?

Knitting me another labia pink scarf

I will never wear. How wonderful!

Hey, I know you've already had bridge

and aqua fit this week,

but how would you like to come down

to an old textile plant

and watch Elaina and I...

- Oh, for...

- Don't wet yourself.

F***er!

This isn't funny!

Hot damn, this is going to be good.

It's so weird seeing her.

She looks almost the same.

Emily Lewis, are you here for the party?

Yes.

Did you come alone

as per your instructions?

I did.

Are you ready to face your fears?

And possibly regrets.

Let's get this party started!

Indeed.

Enter if you dare.

They've already got enough skeletons

in there, you skinny b*tch!

You'll never make it out alive!

You're going to let me through, right?

Hello?

Fine. Eat me then!

Who planned this?

Why would you hit me!

No!

This isn't the party, is it?

Okay.

Please don't rape me.

I think you'll find we lack

an essential tool to fulfill that fantasy.

You guys are girls?

Disappointed?

Corey?

- Corey, please! What are you...

- Relax!

We're here to make things

a little bit... tighter.

If anything.

You're still doing

the big sweater thing, aren't you.

All bun, no meat.

Do you think we could help her

with that, Elaina?

I might have just the thing.

How many letters did I write you?

Can you believe that, Elaina?

63 letters I write Miss Ripe Peach

and not a single response.

How rude.

What are you going to do?

What is the point in not eating...

if you're not going to flaunt your figure?

I was afraid that we would be reunited

tonight and you'd be a fat train wreck.

What is it you always told me?

A girl should always want to be thinner?

Do you like party games, Emily?

I don't want to play.

If I recall, you love this game.

Truth...

You answer all our questions honestly.

Dare...

Well...

we dare you to do something

and you will comply.

What kind of dares?

Truth...

- or dare?

- Dare.

- What should it be?

- I know. It's perfect for you.

I dare you... to be skinnier!

- It's too tight!

- Said no guy ever.

- Next round, Em!

- Truth... or dare?

Truth!

Where were you on October 30th,

two years ago?

Oh, come on.

You guys already know where I was.

- A half truth.

- More like a dodged truth, really.

What should we give her for that?

I'd say free dinner somewhere nice

but she wouldn't eat it.

You know what, you get

this round. Truth or dare?

Look, I know what you two are up to

and I will not be a part of it.

I'm afraid you already are and you

made that choice a long time ago.

Emily...

- truth or dare?

- Dare.

I can still see some fat.

Corey, would you help her with that?

No, no.

You're not wimping out on me, are you?

You almost look as bad as she does.

Emily, you heard her...

- truth or dare?

- Truth.

Unnecessary boob shot.

- Look at that cleavage.

- That b*tch is an emotional terrorist.

She better not be going to this thing

tonight, I can't stand her.

How's that $30 spray tan

working out for you?

I don't know, you tell me!

F*** off!

If I had tits like that, it would not have

taken me till I was 18 to get some dick.

Shelby, did you bring my black shoes?

- I don't have them.

- Yes, you do.

No, I don't.

You borrowed them from me

two days ago, liar!

B*tch!

Is she taking a bath?

It doesn't count if you try

to baptize yourself.

Stupid c*nt!

How much longer?

Shelby Hickman,

are you here to attended the party?

Yes, sir.

Did you come alone

as per your instructions?

Just me.

Are you ready to face your fears?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Enter if you dare.

Hey, does the carpet match the drapes?

You'll never make it out alive!

Shelby!

You guys don't look very scary.

You forgot your corset, but I'm sure

you can liven up the room a little.

Are we scary now, c*nt?

Already? Stack 'em up!

Is that dress sprayed on?

I can't tell. We should bring her in

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes