The Small Back Room

---

Excuse me.

This is Park Lane House?

The assignments are ready, Major.

No, no, no. Fill in all 15 forms

and resubmit... in triplicate.

- My name is Stuart. I have an appointment with Professor Mair.

- Captain Stuart, sirl

The professor is expecting you, sir.

Come this way, sir, if you please.

- Turn seven, miss.

- All right, Sergeant Major.

Professor Mair, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

I think there's some...

somebody at the door.

Mmm. Ask him to come in.

Come in!

Captain Stuart, sir.

All right, Sergeant Major.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

You better sit down.

Yes, Taylor. I think you're right.

- I think you're right.

- Thank you, sir.

Professor Taylor's my star pupil with fuses.

Eh, Taylor?

Well, what can we do for you and Strang?

Well, sir, it's a bit top secret, sir.

Oh. Leave us, will you, Taylor?

We'll go on with that later.

- Unless you want to get home.

- Oh... Oh, no, sir.

- Quite sure your wife won't mind?

- No, sh-she'll be all right, sir.

Taylor, put the light on, will you?

SoJerry's dropping

a new secret weapon, is he?

So secret...

we don't know what it is...

or whether he is dropping it or not.

- You got one with you?

- I wish I had.

What I really want, sir,

is a bit of expert guessing...

and some expert advice on how to handle it

when we get our hands on one.

Sammy Rice is your man.

That you, Susan?

Send Sammy up, will you?

- He's gone, Professor Mair.

- Pity.

- Shall I try to round him up?

- Yes.

I'm sending a Captain Stuart down.

Try and get him together

with Sammy tonight, will you?

- I'll try.

- And send up old Taylor.

Straightaway.

Professor Mair wants you, Taylor.

- Can I come in?

- Captain Stuart?

I'm just ringing Mr. Rice's flat.

Thank you.

There's always something wrong

with this line.

One more chance.

Check here for a bottle ofbrandy. Okay, guv?

I don't care if he is Free French. You gotta pay

cash like everybody else. The Lord Nelson.

- Hello. Is Mr. Rice there?

- Oh, is that you, Miss Susan? Yes, he's here.

- He's there.

- Where?

- I'll take you.

- I say, that's awfully nice of you.

It's not far out of my way.

- Don't let him go, Knucksie. I'm picking him up.

- Trust me.

When can we discuss that, Mr. Moran?

- We'll get around to it.

- Oh!

- I'm dry, Mr. Moran.

- Hey, steam engine's dry. Miles.

- "Propritaire. "

- Hey, Knucksie.

Yes.

- Hey, Dolly.

- Okay, let's have a drinkl

Message for ya.

She says you're to wait.

How's the foot?

- Which one?

- The tin one.

I saw you kicking at it just now.

Yeah. Well, I've gotta do something.

I can't take it off in here, can I?

- Tried dope?

- You won't give me the dope I need.

No more whisky for you, Mr. Rice.

Not in my bar.

- You can't take whisky.

- No, don't go, Knucksie. Stay and talk.

Mr. Rice, how can I?

Knucksie, whisky or conversation.

One or the other,

or I start to break the place up.

Miss Susan will be here in a minute.

Coming.

Pardon, mum.

Captain Stuart, Mr. Rice.

- Drink?

- Well, uh...

- I know her tipple.

- Bitter for me.

- The usual, Knucksie, and a bitter.

- Right.

- Mair sent him on to you.

- Oh.

What's it all about?

I'm sober.

It's a bit hush-hush.

All right.

How about my flat?

I'll make you some coffee.

- Well, put me in the picture.

- Yes.

I know it's all a lot of rot, but, um...

Is, uh... Is this what you want?

Yeah.

Well, what's happened is

a kid's been killed in an explosion.

Found a dart

and hit it with a hammer?

We don't think it was quite like that.

We think the kid may have

simply picked it up...

or perhaps only touched it.

Well, why all the cloak-and-dagger stuff?

Accidents do happen in wartime.

- It's hardly in our line.

- We don't think this was an accident.

It's the fourth this week.

And always afterJerry planes

have been over.

You mean they're dropping booby traps?

- Looks like it.

- And always kids?

Three kids and a man.

Hmm.

That's odd it should have been kids

three times out of four.

I expect the blasted things are

mocked up as teddy bears or candy bars.

- More?

- No, thanks.

Jerry has a lovely mind.

- No witnesses or survivors?

- No.

- What, nothing at all?

- Well, we did find something.

Oh, come on. Spill it.

After the last incident.

It was in the area of the explosion.

Oh?

- Sammy!

- What?

- Who knows what's in it?

- I do.

Soup. Or coffee.

It's a thermos.

- That's right.

- Oh! I need some coffee.

It fooled a lot of people.

Not you.

It's a Jerry type thermos.

Probably fell out of the aircraft when they

jettisoned the other thing, whatever that is.

- Well, there's only one thing to do if you want me in on this.

- I do.

Get me in early. Next time it happens,

send me a wire. I'll come, wherever it is.

Thanks.

I'll take you up on that.

Well, I better be moving.

Come back to the local

and have a drink.

No, I must go.

I'm sorry. I don't keep any stuff here.

We're keeping this one for, uh...

V- day.

- No, really, I've got to get back.

- All right. I'll get your coat.

- Can I take you home?

- You have.

Oh.

I live across the hall.

I could put you up

on the settee if you like.

Thanks. I'd sooner get out of town.

- The raids get me down.

- Oh, you get used to 'em, like toothache.

I hate toothaches.

Well, there's nothing like taking a nice

quiet bomb apart to steady the nerves.

- Good-bye.

- Good-bye.

- Mind how you go down the stairs.

It's a bit dark there. Good-bye, old man.

- Nice chap.

- Mmm.

Oh, dear.

- You know, it's awful about the children.

- Mmm.

Well, if we can get hold of one

of those things and have a look at it...

we can see what it was like

and we could broadcast a warning.

But, Sammy, how would you tackle it?

Oh, damn.

You'll have the warden after you.

Is it hurting?

Not more than usual.

Why don't you take it off?

- Have you taken your dope?

- No.

Problem.

This dope the doctor gives me

doesn't do my foot any good.

It makes me feel bad.

That noble remedy,

on the other hand...

doesn't do me any good either.

But at least it leaves me not caring

whether it hurts or not.

Would you like a whisky, Sammy?

Mmm. I would.

Why don't you take the thing off?

- You know that helps.

- No.

You do when you're alone.

Why will you keep it on when I'm here?

It's all right now.

Ohl Look. Look.

- Can we have another?

- Yes, sir.

- Ready with another one, Jack?

- Yes, okay.

Fire!

- You reducing the charge?

- Yes, we'll put it down to 60 grams this time, sir.

- Think that'll be better? - I

think so. Yes. - How's your shoulder?

- What is the, uh, muzzle velocity?

- 1,500, sir.

Now I suppose you people will send in a report

saying the Reeve's gun is a marvelous weapon.

- Depends on the figures.

- Stop playing with figures, my boy.

- Learn something about soldiering.

- Fire.

- He's on the target all right.

- Yes, in 20 seconds.

- What we need is 10 rounds a minute.

- Fresh target.

- You don't like the Reeve's, I gather.

- Heaven make me patient.

- Have you ever fired at a tank?

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